David, Jolene, and Stephani had their polyamorous triad wedding in Austin, TX. The three partners have been together for six years, functioning as an open triad. This means they have other partners, and they practice what's known as kitchen table polyamory — the philosophy that all partners communicate openly, and that everyone could sit around a kitchen table and get along.
“We always have our other partners and other metamours together,” Stephani explained. (Kitchen table polyamory focuses on friendly communication between all parties, including your partner's other partners, also known as metamours.)
The triad's wedding was a celebration of these ideals, with a very special first look and a carefully designed ceremony…. And lots of butt grabbing!
How was it planning a polyamorous triad wedding? Stephani explains:
It was hard. You can't just Google how to plan a polyamorous wedding. [ACTUALLY YOU CAN! -Ed]
After I got past the “oh shit” how do I do it, it got better… I realized I could still plan a “regular” wedding by just adding a person!
How do you do a first look at a polyamorous triad wedding?
The triad's photographer, Jenna Avery from Creatrix Photography, explains how she coordinated the first look photos:
In order to capture the magic of each separate relationship, each pairing had their own moments first. Stephanie with David, Stephanie and Jolene, and then Jolene with David. Finally, all three of them came together! The same was done for the “couples” portraits and how they planned the actual ceremony and first dances. As the photographer, I was very careful to honor each dynamic and shoot each pairing as uniquely as possible. As a wedding photographer with a strong polyamorous background, I knew that regardless of their own chosen dynamic, my job was to make sure I treated every relationship as equally as possible. It’s tricky, but it all worked out!!
Polyamorous triad wedding portraits
Polyamorous triad wedding ceremony
The triad put a lot of thought into their polyamorous wedding ceremony. Stephani explained:
How do you stand with three people and the person who is officiating? How can everyone see all of us while sitting? Where does the wedding party stand? Who walks down first? So many questions.
We decided to have three sections for the guests. My husband walked down first, then me, and finally our wife. We stood in a triangle with the officiate off to the side. The bridal party was mixed up and standing off to the sides. Little details like that stressed me out! Of course, by the end of the day, it didn't matter.
Polyamorous triad wedding reception
There were jello shots and queso! When we asked Stephani if she had any advice to share with other polyamorous folks, here were thoughts on how to have a polyamorous triad wedding:
I would say, be open to all ideas. Focus on what you want and just make it happen. This doesn't happen every day, people won't know the difference. If you want a traditional feel, you can still have that. If you want the full wedding experience, hire the DJ, the photographer, the photo booth, and Bar. Just because it's more than two people doesn't make it less of a wedding.
Polyamourous triad wedding vendors
How to plan YOUR polyamorous wedding
We have a deep archive of poly wedding planning posts, but here are a few you might enjoy…