How can I make sure guests please DON’T stand for the Bride?

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everyone (except for me, my dad, and everyone sitting under the balcony)
One of the unspoken wedding traditions that drives me nuts is when everyone stands up for the bride.

I know it's an old tradition and it's a respect thing (or something like that. I'm not totally positive of the background). But why just for the Bride?

Is anyone planning/have you seen anyone address this? Do you ask the guests to remain seated? Do you ask them to stand as the groom comes down the aisle? -beccamink

Your shorter guests certainly will thank you for this! (As one Offbeat Bride Tribe member said, “So out of respect of the shorter individuals, everyone can SIT THE FUCK DOWN.”) Our best suggestion would be to put a note in the program or have your officiant say something (possibly something funny) to let guests know.

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Comments on How can I make sure guests please DON’T stand for the Bride?

  1. I was adamant I did not want people standing for me. Neither did I want to walk down an aisle. We fixed this by getting to the church first before everyone else, and sitting at the front. Our friends and family filed in behind us as they arrived, and when it was time for our ceremony, we just stood up and took a step forward. It was such a relief not to have to do the aisle walk!

  2. You know, the other way of looking at this problem is to get everyone to stand up for everybody, which is the way I choose to handle it. We’re having a traditional Episcopalian wedding, and since it’s our tradition to stand for the every-Sunday procession of the acolytes, lectors, and priest, we decided to just stick myself and my groom at the end of it. This way, everyone is standing for the whole procession, and not just some over-drama’d “here comes the bride” moment.

  3. I walked down the aisle to a hymn — Holy, Holy, Holy, played by a musician friend — and I think that threw people off. My husband’s father actually stood up, so everyone else did. If you don’t want people to stand (which I gotta admit, it was pretty cool to allow myself to be the center of attention for that brief moment), I’d recommend choosing a nontraditional song to be played while you walk down the aisle. People are conditioned to stand when they hear the traditional wedding songs.

  4. In a traditional Catholic ceremony, the guests are standing to sing the opening hymn. Those who cannot stand/kneel usually sit in the front of the church or in another area designated for those with mobility issues.
    My wedding was a traditional Mass, where my husband and I processed in together, so all the guests were standing for the bride AND groom. So if you’re worried about gender equality (standing for bride/not standing for groom), consider walking down the aisle together.

    • In my family you are either Catholic or “resting Catholic” (ie don’t go to Mass or keep traditions) and every Catholic ceremony where the Priest has a good reason to suspect a lot of non-Catholics are in attendance – weddings, baptisms etc – they’ve always introduced what comes next with instructions as to what to do for example “Let us stand/sit/kneel to…”.

      The entrance would be the only one where the Priest isn’t in place to give guidance – but again, there’s usually a catechist or lead musician who will give a few “housekeeping” rules (no flash photography, if you can’t kneel it’s OK to sit, keep aisles clear, if there is a children’s liturgy, this song is a solo etc) who can cover it.

  5. My husband walked down the aisle solo first, then I did, both of us during the same processional song (that he’d written :)). Before the song started, our officiant asked everyone to please stand.

    If you don’t want ppl to stand, just have the officiant say “please remain seated” when s/he comes out & before the music starts.

  6. I want people to stand not just for me but also for my groom. But not for the groomsmen or the bridesmaids or the flower girl & ring bearer. Basically the groomsmen walk out first (guests seated), groom walks down (guests stand), bridesmaids (guests seated) FG & RB walks down (guests seated) and last Bride and Mother walk out (guests stand)
    How do I word it for the officiant to say: for the groom and bride please stand but in between please sit??
    I have this so far: The Bride has a request that all guest please stand for the Groom walking down the aisle.
    How do I say sit for the rest of the wedding party members but stand for the bride. Help! We are meeting with the officiant on Friday and I have no ideas.

    • Unless your attendees are Catholic (and even if they are), they’re going to find the stand up – sit down – stand up -sit down thing very strange and off-putting. I’d say move the groom to be after the flower girl, have your officiant announce “All Rise!” when the groom is about to walk down the aisle right in front of the bride, then “you may be seated” after you both get to the front (or after the give-away line if you’re keeping that part).

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