I have a confession to make. I am a Planzilla.
I love planning things. I love planning things way way way in advance. I've been engaged for all of three weeks and I've already planned far-too-far ahead for my future husband's liking. Please note: my future husband is not a planner of any kind.
One of the reasons I wanted a short-ish engagement is, while I love planning, I hate waiting. I want to get married and I want to get married now.
In my neurotic little brain, the longer I leave something for planning, and the more people I involve, the more likely it is to go horribly wrong.
I could quite happily start planning for my wedding (which has no date, no venue, no colours, etc.) right now, and get all the planning done by myself — no help from parents, planners, fiancés, siblings, or anyone — and it would be awesome. I would be so happy. I've already had some push-back on some of the offbeat decisions I've made (no bridal party, large engagement party/small wedding) from my sisters and Mother Dearest.
But here's where the problem lies…
If I did this all by myself, it would be my perfect day. But no one else's.
At this stage, I have already planned most of the engagement party, including invitations, catering, potential guest books, the guest list, and what I'm going to wear. Please note: The engagement party is six months away. The engagement party is going to be the Planzilla inside of me having her last hurrah before the wedding.
- The Planzilla side of me stresses me out. She thinks that everything needs to be perfect and if she isn't in charge of things, things won't be perfect.
- As much as the Planzilla in me disagrees, the wedding is not actually about me, nor is it about my future husband, nor is it really about us. It's something we're doing for our families. We would actually be perfectly happy not to have a wedding and just get married on the sly.
- I need to enjoy this time with my future husband. This is a new stage in our relationship. A stage that seems almost functionally identical to the previous stage, plus a whole bunch of expensive planning and partying, but a new stage nonetheless. It'll be the last real “new stage” in our relationship before we get married.
I can't lose sight of what is important in this whole thing, and for me, it's my fiancé. It's spending time with him and being the same people we always were, just with a new title.
So Planzilla, I don't care if this wedding is “your baby.” Going on a planning rampage and roaring at people isn't very nice. Back to the depths of the back of my mind with thee.