Her Offbeat Partner: Jake, student/IT
Location & date of wedding: San Francisco City Hall — Thursday(!), June 4, 2009
What made our wedding offbeat: As a kid, I never really dreamed of “My Big White Wedding.” I knew I wanted to marry Jake and I knew my mom would kill me if I didn’t have a big party and ceremony, too. So I threw myself into it and tried to make it ours — no white dress, no hairspray, pizza for dinner, “Star Trek” processional, photos at ruins, pawn shop rings, a bouquet made of flowers guests bought at a liquor store or on the street on the way there.
Our mutual friend married us with poetry and humor. Jake’s mom and stepdad read together, my dad cried his way through his speech, my mom gave advice and read a Bible verse, and Jake’s dad winged something, and it was all heartfelt, unrehearsed and beautiful. We had sock races at our first reception in SF and did the Macarena at the second in Ohio. We had the now-de riguer Hipster Polaroid Guestbook.
It was amazing getting cards, letters and gifts leading up to and after the wedding, and when I think back on everything people gave — including FLYING IN FROM ISTANBUL! — I still get choked up. I would heartily recommend having A Wedding rather than eloping if for no other reason than it made us feel so loved and supported as a couple and as individuals. Dancing with my high school friends in Ohio was the most fun I’ve had in my life, like, ever. And it DOES NOT have to be stressful or expensive!
Our biggest challenge: We decided to buy plates, forks, knives and spoons from thrift stores, wash them, use them, wash them again, and then donate them back. But… we don’t have a car or a dishwasher. So… this was difficult.
For this (and almost everything else!) we leaned on our friends, borrowing two cars, making dishwasher borrowing a “Scintillating Saturday Sudfest” with frozen pizzas, tater tots and X-Box , and then using Craigslist to unload the dishes when it was just too far to walk and too expensive to rent a car to deliver them back to Goodwill.
My favorite moment: Jake and I walking to City Hall together with the best man, maid of honor, my dad, mom and sister, and my friend who flew in from Istanbul (mostly) just for my wedding.
Also: I was totally about to bawl my eyes out walking down the aisle with Jake until I heard our violinist playing “Star Trek: The Next Generation” theme as our processional. I laughed right away, and no one besides Jake, the violinist and I recognized how awful and nerdy the song was until we told them later.
None of our plates matched, we weren’t sure which deep-dish pizza had what on it, our cakes didn’t get flowers on top as decoration (our cakemaker got very sick a few days before, but she still made them — with gloves and a mask on!!), we spent our first dance stepping on each others’ toes, one of our guests got his car towed, my hem and shoes were completely sandy and grimy after the photo shoot, we missed a flight once and got separated from our luggage twice. And it still was all good.
If you find yourself freaking out on the day of about table numbers, or whether your flowers are fully bloomed, or ANYTHING that isn’t, you know, MAKING AN UN-TAKE-BACK-ABLE commitment, take a minute, look at your guests, look at the person you’re about to say forever to, your best friends, your family, some guy you don’t know who is TOTALLY tearing up the dance floor — they’re all in one place, right now, with you, enjoying themselves. So, STFU and party already!
- My dress, the Inca by Wai-Ching
- Our invitations by Dependable Letterpress
- Photos by Yuki Saito-Miller
- “Catering” by Little Star Pizza
- His ring from San Francisco Provident Loan Association
- Cake topper from Casa Bonampak
- Thank-you postcards from Autumn Express
- Our reception venue in SF
- SF City Hall
- Photos taken at Sutro Baths
- Camera Obscura
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!: