We already broached the question of “should I shave my armpits of my wedding day,” but let's hear about it first hand from a bride who chose not to shave on her wedding day.
On my non-commitment ceremony days I don't shave, but for the most part I also don't cover up the fact that I don't shave. I will happily rock a cute little sun dress accessorized with leg and arm pit hair. Not thinking of leg hair and cute dresses as an either/or choice is one little twist on gender that makes me happy. What can I say, I enjoy contradictions (and I also really hate shaving).
Then people started to ask (and I was wondering this too), if I was going to shave for the big day. “No!” — “Yes!” would race through my mind in quick succession followed by “gharrrr I don't know!” Because hairy brides are so infrequent, my hair suddenly became a political statement. Should I shave so that I wouldn't offend anyone, or should I say “I do,” leg hair and all, because it was more authentically me?
I finally realized that my leg hair was getting caught in the same tug-o-war I think many of us wedding/commitment ceremony planners experience between our own desires and the social expectations of our community. What do we do when our authentic selves takes a sharp left turn from whatever the current “normal” is?
This question occupied the same part of my brain that was chewing on questions about why Adam and I weren't actually getting married. Was my insistence on a commitment ceremony (rather than a legal marriage) just an attention-seeking-political-stunt designed to make everyone uncomfortable (there were a few grumbles in this direction), or was I doing what I knew would make me happiest?
In the end I decided they both had the same answer:
I would do what I wanted, I just wouldn't make it a big deal. If I was calm, everyone else took the cue that just because something was a little different, it didn't mean it was up for discussion.
So when the photos began and we all jumped together, I raised my arms high and let my arm pit hair play in the breeze. It was a perfect day.
