I'm struggling with FEELING engaged while not officially engaged

Wanda white gold skull ring for women tansanite alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride) — Ring by KIPKALINKA

My boyfriend and I frequently talk about getting married — to the point that we have already decided on a wedding date, a venue, bridal parties, guest list, and we've even started research on our honeymoon.

Well, I've started all the research. He has yet to pop the question — based merely on finances and affording the engagement ring we picked out. While I could happily marry this man at the courthouse with a piece of twine on my finger — I suggested it — he'd never go for it. So I'm feeling guilty about being twenty yards ahead, and he feels guilty being twenty yards behind.

I'm struggling with already FEELING engaged while not quite officially being there yet. How do I slow down this crazy wedding train?!

Anybody been there before? -R

In fact, yes, I'M currently there! I call it being engaged to be engaged. My boyfriend and I have already decided on the wedding venue, a rough idea of when we'll get married, I know I'll be getting his Bubbie's ring, and his mother and I are already scheming about details.

And yet… no proposal yet.

And no clue when it's coming.

For control freaks like mahself, that is so damn frustrating.

I mean, exciting! But, yeah, also frustrating.

One of our favorite ways of solving this in-between madness is to just go ahead, take control and propose. But that only works if both parties will feel good about this choice.

If one or both partners have very set ideas on how they want their proposal to play out, then there's no denying the awkward stage of being engaged to be engaged.