The offbeat bride: Teena, Teacher (and Tribe member)
Her offbeat partner: Eddie, Master Carpenter
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: When we began planning, we knew four things: the bride would wear red, it would be an outside ceremony, we didn't have a lot of money to spend on it, and we didn't want our friends and family to have to do a lot.
I found the dress I wanted from a great Etsy seller. It was very simple, and something I can wear to the Renaissance Festival.
I wanted to get married in the round garden at Bicentennial Gardens as soon as I saw it! The reception venue was a little harder to find, but as soon as we saw The Loft at Natty Green's, we knew we'd found the perfect location. It was so beautiful inside that there wasn't really a need for much decoration. They also do their own catering. The price was right for both venues, so we had already accomplished all of our goals. The size of both venues limited how many people we could invite, so that helped with the cost.
We didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen, just our “friends of honor,” who each had a special role in the ceremony. Our stuffed dragon, Dragon O'Shamus (because it's a “dragon” shame you're not here!), was our ring bearer, carried by one of our friends of honor. There was no color scheme or required dress for our friends of honor. Several of our friends started talking about wearing Renaissance Faire garb, and it kind of spiraled from there to a Renaissance theme. Eddie had wanted to wear a suit, but when all the guys decided to wear their kilts, he gave in and purchased a fancy jacket to go with his kilt. Although the ladies did not try to coordinate with each other in any way, all the bright colors together looked stunning.
There was no dancing, no garter or bouquet toss, and no speeches at the reception. There was a photo booth, complete with a huge moon backdrop and props. We also had Love Libs, Mad Libs in the form of a letter to the bride and groom, for the guest book.
We made a lot ourselves, with the help of friends: the save-the-dates, the invitations (scrolls in bags), the handfasting cords, the moon programs, my headpiece, my earrings, the Love Libs guest book, and a little bitty kilt for Dragon. Friends also made little roses for holding bird seed and the wedding favors, which were little top hats in red and black. The cake and groom's pie were made by a friend, as were the toppers on each.
Tell us about the ceremony: We have a very close-knit group of friends, and we wanted to include as many of them as possible in the ceremony. Eddie's sister officiated the ceremony. My son was my escort. We also had the “Dragon Keeper” and “Guardian of the Circle.” We had four friends invoke the elements.
OFFICIANT: Since ancient times, people have communed with nature to learn more about themselves by example. Since it is within nature that we all do abide, we ask for Teena and Edward the blessings of nature's elements: air, fire, water, and earth. We do this so they may fully come to understand the lessons each element has to offer. The attributes of which are examples of those aspects they mirror not only within divinity but within ourselves as well.
EAST/AIR: Blessed be this union with the gifts of the east and the element of air — for openness and breath, communication of the heart, and purity of the mind and body. From the east you receive the gift of a new beginning with the rising of each sun, and the understanding that each day is a new opportunity for growth.
SOUTH/FIRE: Blessed be this union with the gifts of the south and the element of fire — for energy, passion, creativity, and the warmth of a loving home. From the fire within you generate light, which you will share with one another in even the darkest of times.
WEST/WATER: Blessed be this union with the gifts of the west, the element of water — for your capacity to feel emotion. In marriage you offer absolute trust to one another, and vow to keep your hearts open in sorrow as well as joy.
NORTH/EARTH: Blessed be this union with the gifts of the north, the element of earth — which provides sustenance, fertility, and security. The earth will feed and enrich you, and help you to build a stable home to which you may always return.
SUN: Blessed be this union with the gifts of the sun, which shine upon you with prosperity, success, and protection. From the sun comes satisfaction and happiness in friendship, love, and marriage.
MOON: Blessed be this union with the gifts of the moon, who watches over us all, even when unseen. Ever changing, ever constant she gives the gift of mystery and compassion that you may never tire of one another, though your love last an eternity.
Everyone was in a circle surrounding us. We also had a rosemary bush, a symbol of remembrance for those not present, which has now been planted in our yard. We shared cake (lemon bars) and ale (Eddie's own cider brew) during the ceremony, to symbolize feeding the soul of marriage.
My favorite moment: We were so happy that Eddie's family was able to be there. They live in Colorado and Texas, so we don't get to see them often (in fact, I'd never met his older brother). We loved being able to spend time with them throughout the weekend.
My favorite part by far was collecting my bouquet. We asked each guest to bring a flower of their choosing to the ceremony. The first addition to the bouquet was a small bird that my brother (who couldn't attend the wedding) had made me and sent with my dad. When I entered with my son as my escort, we walked around the circle collecting the flowers. I was able to speak to each guest as I added their flower to my bouquet. I loved that personal interaction, knowing that each person was contributing to my bouquet. Tip: get some stretchy bouquet wrap to hold them all together if you're going to try this.
My funniest moment: The funniest part of the whole day was watching people in the photo booth area. I wasn't sure if everyone would participate, especially my family. When I walked in and saw my grandmother with a big top hat with bunny ears on, I knew it was a hit! My dad and stepmother, and mom and stepdad also got in on it. Of course, our friends got a little crazy with it, and even Dragon had a turn!
My advice for offbeat brides: Join the Offbeat Bride Tribe. Their support, encouragement, and endless ideas were essential in planning this wedding. Most of my ideas and the wording for the ceremony came from either the Offbeat Bride Blog or from the Tribe. Those ladies (and men) have the best ideas!
Have you been married before and if so, what did you do differently? I was much more intentional in my planning. I didn't have the resources to make my first wedding what I really wanted, so it was just kind of thrown together. Being much older and wiser now, I was able to make this wedding exactly what was most important to us, without spending a lot of money.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? Accept help when it's offered. I don't plan parties well, I always forget something, and I procrastinate. I'm not good at asking for help, unless I get in a real pinch. Friends would ask if there was anything they could do to help, and I'd tell them that I didn't know of anything. I finally accepted that I didn't have to do it all on my own. The truth is that if they hadn't asked, I would have just done it all myself, though, not because I didn't want or appreciate their help, but because I was afraid to ask.
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Wedding dress: Etsy seller Desree10
- Groom's kilt jacket: Buy a Kilt
- Ceremony venue: Bicentennial Gardens
- Reception venue/caterer: The Loft at Natty Green's
- Photographer: Shaun McCoy
- Bride's Gloves: Etsy seller ZenandCoffee
- Escort's Kilt: SportKilt
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!