My wedding wasn't the emotional event of the century (and that's totally okay!) #Philosophizing#lessons learned Posted Jan 17 2018 Guest post by K. Elizabeth More crying from laughter than actual crying…Tears of Joy Emoji Keychain from Lady Maggies Related Post How we're making peace with our no bells and whistles wedding in the WIC pressure cooker Planning a budget-friendly, streamlined wedding that doesn't feature all the "bells and whistles" of traditional weddings is not without its judgments and that's where my... Read more When Adam (my now husband) proposed to me, my answer was "umm… oh… okay." It was a Wednesday night and we were playing Fallout. While I was yelling "GET THEM" at the TV, he got down on one knee and presented his grandmother's ring to me. I was well aware this was not a picture perfect Instagram engagement moment, but I was pretty damn happy with it despite my stunned response. No hidden cameras, no surprise engagement party. Just us in our pajamas. Obviously emotional moments were not our thing. It's still not. Right away I got down to business planning a wedding. My day job as an Event Planner made creating our wedding incredibly easy. To me, the planning of this event was calculated, timed out, and organized. When I started I set an intention: gratitude. Not true love, not overwhelming emotion, and definitely not any of that Instagram perfection the internet shoves down our throats. We did not want a "Pinterest wedding," not that there's anything wrong with that. We did not want 500 of our "closest acquaintances" or a 30-person wedding party. I hated feeling that pressure to have those perfect, candid wedding pictures. None of that was important to us. What was important to us was putting together a ceremony of two souls and two families coming together and a serious party for all of the people who made us who we have become. This wedding wasn't just about us. It was about everyone in our lives who continually served as amazing examples of love, human existence and support for us. The First Look We took all of our pictures before the ceremony. Our first look was not that quintessential emotional moment everyone dreams about (you know those pictures where the groom is bawling and the girl is delicately wiping away tears). It was our moms trying to take pictures from the windows (annoying the photographer), Adam and I laughing hysterically before he even turned around, and it was pure excitement. When he finally saw me, we LAUGHED. We about died laughing. This was what everyone was building up? I mean damn, he looked good, but I wasn't going to cry and neither was he. The best picture we have of this moment is me looking like a flamenco dancer (unsure why I did this). Honestly, it was anti-climatic compared to what all the wedding columns and photography makes it out to be. AND I'M SO TOTALLY OKAY WITH THAT. It was a typical and perfect Adam and Kate moment. The author at her LOL-filled ceremony The Ceremony It was just us letting the government know "hey we're going to hang around together forever so FYI make sure our taxes are good." Our ceremony was everything we wanted it to be. I took a shot of whiskey with my dad before walking down the aisle. Adam and I laughed (multiple times) and our pastor was lighthearted and nurturing. No one cried (except for our dads). It wasn't emotional, it was exciting! It was a celebration. This was the beginning of two families joining together. Adam and I were together eight years before we got married so this wasn't an earth-shattering change in our personal relationship with each other. It was just us letting the government know "hey we're going to hang around together forever so FYI make sure our taxes are good." There were no pictures of us wiping tears or staring longingly into each other's eyes. But there are multiple pictures of me hanging on to Adam's arm for dear life and of us laughing at each other (can you sense a theme?). There's even a picture of me turning back when I forgot to grab my bouquet on the way out and my mother yelled at me "Kate Elizabeth, your flowers!" After the wedding, the internet made me feel like a shitty wife when I read all these posts about how emotional other weddings were. Was I defective? After the wedding, the internet made me feel like a shitty wife when I read all these posts about how emotional other weddings were. Was I defective? Were we missing some emotional component? Why didn't I feel like crying once? It took me a good long while to realize it didn't matter. I shouldn't feel guilty or judged just because I chose to laugh on my wedding day. That doesn't make my love for my husband any less valid or genuine. It just means our love language is laughter. Weddings are not about getting that perfect Instagram or Facebook moment. They aren't about if you had a buffet or a plated dinner or a donut wall or the perfect barn wedding or whatever. And they sure as hell are not about if you did everything traditionally or pulled the whole damn thing out of your ass and called it a wedding. This is not about anything or anyone else but the two of you. If you're emotional and will definitely cry, GREAT! If you're like me and laugh constantly at odd times, GREAT! Just make sure you both enjoy your wedding day no matter what. The point I'm trying to make is do what makes you and your designated person happy. Don't let others dictate how you should experience your wedding day. And make sure you laugh. A lot. Related Post How a last-minute wedding dress disaster made me remember what really matters I had an amazing process getting my first dress custom-made. But an incident with my curious kitties made my dress unwearable. In swooped my amazing fiance and bridesmaids who rallied… Read More Guest post written by K. Elizabeth Event Planner, Gym Addict, & Wiener (dog) Enthusiast. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100011490345145 PREVIOUS This free wedding website tool makes your guest list, RSVPs, & save-the-date woes a thing of the past NEXT Our jaws dropped when we saw this geek adventure wedding (on a budget!) Show/Hide comments [ 4 ] Laughing is an emotion! You laughed a lot…you were emotional. And there's nothing wrong with that. Reply Laughing is an action, but the happiness that comes with this brand of laughter is an emotion and I don't think that was what the point author was getting at. She definitely didn't say there was anything wrong with it. Every person deserves to experience their big day in the emotions (or actions) that come organically to them. Laughter is not the expected response that is most often related to weddings., so this take on her response to her big day is a breath of fresh air. I think this is a great and well written piece that captured her thoughts beautifully! . Reply I’m hoping my wedding day will be similar! Thanks for sharing! Reply Love this! I'm looking for wedding readings and ideas for vows right now, and a lot of them are just way too sappy for me. Thanks for reminding me that we should pick whatever is right for us! Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. 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