One Offbeat Bride’s nightmare at Macy’s Bridal

Guest post by Siouxzi Rodeman

I get so many great emails from readers and someone of them are just meant to be shared with the world. Today, I wanted to share this email from Siouxzi, who had a nightmare dress shopping experience

macys bridal nightmare

Hey Ariel,
I wanted to say thanks I bought your book when we first got engaged. I really appreciated the anecdotes and advice. I thought I'd share what I'm going through right now with you.

My mother has stage IV lung cancer and also cancer in her pelvic bone. I don't say that for pity. It's just the situation we're in. My fiance and I never really did the whole on the knee surprise engagement. We'd decided drunkenly on night ages ago (I think this new year's maybe?) that we wanted to get married. My mother asked if we'd set a date, and the answer was no. We didn't even have an engagement ring. We saw it mostly as a thing for her to look forward to, maybe in two years.

Tuesday I got the call from my mom. The tumors are growing again, her lung was filled with fluid, they were going to drain it and start chemo on Friday. After a lot of crying and thinking and talking we decided to push up the wedding. To November 2007.

I've pretty much come to terms with all of that. And I'm so incredibly lucky to have great friends who are contributing in every way to help make our day as special as our relationship is. I have an incredible friend who is going to make my wedding gown. But first we wanted to try some on to see how they fit.

I'm definitely an offbeat bride. I'm pierced, tattooed and make dreads for burners, goths, ravers, and myself. So naturally, I expected some comments or whatever when I walked into a place, but I didn't expect this. My maid of honor and I went to Macy's. I've never been part of a bridal party, I had no idea I needed to make an appointment to try stuff on. So Jackie, my maid of honor took the lead, asking if we needed an appointment.

They said yes. (silence)

Jackie asked if they had any today, they said no. (silence)

Jackie asked if they had any this week, they said yes. (silence)

After way to much work to get them to try and find an hour for us to come by, they asked when the date was. We told them November 24th. Oh, wow, you know the date already, next November, blah blah. No, this November, we said.

And they laughed. Very much like the Dr. Demento show song, they laughed and laughed and then they laughed some more. And then they showed me the most hideous bridesmaid sample dresses walked away and we didn't see them again until we came out of that tiny closet.

To say I was upset is an understatement. I didn't cry in front of them because I refuse to let them to see me down. But I sure had a session later on. I'm not a princess bride. I don't need to have a tiara and be waited on hand and foot. But I'm sorry that my trying to have a wedding prior to my mom's death messes up the status quo wedding procedure. I'm not mad that they didn't have any appointments, though there were three consultants there and not a person other than us in site the whole time we were there.

I just don't see how laughing at a person, when you have no idea what their situation is, is acceptable behavior for a store like that. I was hurt at first but the more I think about it the angrier I am.

Sorry to write SO much. I just thought you might appreciate and relate and maybe have advice to others who find themselves not getting the wedding they wanted but trying to at least make it one they enjoy… and not turn into a
complete wreck in the process.

And BOO Macy's.

Comments on One Offbeat Bride’s nightmare at Macy’s Bridal

  1. I went to David’s Bridal… I didn’t have an appointment so they made me come back two hours later because they’d have a “consultant” available. When I came back, the “consultant” (who had 3 of us with appointments at the same time) gave me a book to pick dresses from, out of the 8 I picked they only had 3 in “my size” in stock. (None of their cheap dresses were in the book, and she would let me have my friend grab the cheap ones off the rack that I really really liked).

    The real hell started when I tried the dresses on… lets just say the phrases, “well with a rear end that size, no dress is going to fit well”, “We make lots of dresses in large sizes, but not THAT large”, “You know, a bride your LARGE size should have been looking for a dress a year ago, not just 4 months before the wedding”, “The poofy sleeves on this one would cover your large…uh…fluffy…arms”, and my personal favorite, “Well a bride your size should know that you aren’t going to find a dress that’s perfect for you, you’re lucky to find one that fits”.

    I’m only a size 16… when did that become “huge”. I found an amazing dress at a little shop, the lady was sweet and they had dozens of dresses in my size, and they had five dresses that matched my exact wants… the first one I tried on was my dream dress! If you live near Everett, Washington and want a colorful dress or a princess dress then I recommend Hermosa Bridal Boutique in Snohomish.

  2. I am so sorry to hear that. I am going through the same thing, and it totally sucks. My mother was just diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer (it’s also in her breast and brain), and my finace and I have been planning a wedding in Jamaica for April 2009. They gave her 2 years to live and she’s only 46. I am totally stressed out. I thought about moving the wedding up with a very small guest list, but the wedding planning is a good distraction for her from the chemo and radiation.
    I’ve been so angry at the world that I dare some wedding vendor to be rude or snub me like this – heads will roll.

  3. I JUST read this. I know it’s after the fact, and I hope your wedding went well and being in that situation (with a Mom in Stage 4 liver cancer)….just wondering if the bride ever contacted management at Macy’s and wrote a scathing letter about customer service…or the incredible lack of it tbat she received. Some of these providers get too into their own little worlds….and forget that there are many other people willing to service a wedding…and yes, even though you weren’t necessarily going to buy from them, word of mouth means a lot.

  4. I used to have the misfortune to work in the Macy’s bridal section, along with a lot of awful bitchy old ladies who treated people like you described. I decided, while I was working there, that I when my boyfriend and I get married I will never go to a department store to look for dresses, nor will I register for stupid pots and pans that I don’t really need, so that everyone else can feel obligated to buy me stuff that is 3x overpriced.
    Boo Macy’s. Indeed.

  5. I got lucky bridal shopping (probably because I only went into two stores and all I had for a guideline was a dress that involved black somehow). My SIL wasn’t so lucky though. She has MS and although her condition has much improved with better treatments, she still tires out really easily. She was in a shop and to make her mom happy she said she would try on a few of the big poufy dresses. Now, those things weigh a ton even without having any other issues to deal with. She was having a lot of trouble with the dresses and the saleswoman told her that “really, if you’re so sick you shouldn’t be trying on dresses like this. In fact, you should really consider whether you should even be getting married at all.” WTF?!? Needless to say they didn’t buy a damn thing in that store. What the hell is wrong with people?

  6. Gah, so much brutality! ;(

    SO glad that Siouxzi had such an awesome wedding!

    …& yeah, not going to a department store, yipes!

  7. Was Siouxzi’s wedding ever featured on this site? I hope it went well. I’d love to see how everything turned out.

  8. Hubby and I had been planning to get wed for years but had never really started the process. Then life got hard in terms of employment and he got a job proposal in France. Suddenly, we wanted to get married fast. He emigrated and I had 5 months to plan our wedding before I too had to emigrate. All the bridal shops I went to had that shitty attitude of laughing and saying it was impossible, it was too close, then be really unhelpful showing me stuff that had nothing to do with what I had asked for. Then I found a small modest shop, where they had dresses from all those expensive creators, only each dress was unique because they were from previous seasons and the owner was a seamstress and she modified them to the taste of the bride. They were super nice and I got my personalised dress for half the price of the other bridal shops. It was the 7th shop I went to… I guess one must keep looking until one founds the right place… and totally ignore unprofessional employees.

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