One Offbeat Bride’s nightmare at Macy’s Bridal

Guest post by Siouxzi Rodeman

I get so many great emails from readers and someone of them are just meant to be shared with the world. Today, I wanted to share this email from Siouxzi, who had a nightmare dress shopping experience

macys bridal nightmare

Hey Ariel,
I wanted to say thanks I bought your book when we first got engaged. I really appreciated the anecdotes and advice. I thought I'd share what I'm going through right now with you.

My mother has stage IV lung cancer and also cancer in her pelvic bone. I don't say that for pity. It's just the situation we're in. My fiance and I never really did the whole on the knee surprise engagement. We'd decided drunkenly on night ages ago (I think this new year's maybe?) that we wanted to get married. My mother asked if we'd set a date, and the answer was no. We didn't even have an engagement ring. We saw it mostly as a thing for her to look forward to, maybe in two years.

Tuesday I got the call from my mom. The tumors are growing again, her lung was filled with fluid, they were going to drain it and start chemo on Friday. After a lot of crying and thinking and talking we decided to push up the wedding. To November 2007.

I've pretty much come to terms with all of that. And I'm so incredibly lucky to have great friends who are contributing in every way to help make our day as special as our relationship is. I have an incredible friend who is going to make my wedding gown. But first we wanted to try some on to see how they fit.

I'm definitely an offbeat bride. I'm pierced, tattooed and make dreads for burners, goths, ravers, and myself. So naturally, I expected some comments or whatever when I walked into a place, but I didn't expect this. My maid of honor and I went to Macy's. I've never been part of a bridal party, I had no idea I needed to make an appointment to try stuff on. So Jackie, my maid of honor took the lead, asking if we needed an appointment.

They said yes. (silence)

Jackie asked if they had any today, they said no. (silence)

Jackie asked if they had any this week, they said yes. (silence)

After way to much work to get them to try and find an hour for us to come by, they asked when the date was. We told them November 24th. Oh, wow, you know the date already, next November, blah blah. No, this November, we said.

And they laughed. Very much like the Dr. Demento show song, they laughed and laughed and then they laughed some more. And then they showed me the most hideous bridesmaid sample dresses walked away and we didn't see them again until we came out of that tiny closet.

To say I was upset is an understatement. I didn't cry in front of them because I refuse to let them to see me down. But I sure had a session later on. I'm not a princess bride. I don't need to have a tiara and be waited on hand and foot. But I'm sorry that my trying to have a wedding prior to my mom's death messes up the status quo wedding procedure. I'm not mad that they didn't have any appointments, though there were three consultants there and not a person other than us in site the whole time we were there.

I just don't see how laughing at a person, when you have no idea what their situation is, is acceptable behavior for a store like that. I was hurt at first but the more I think about it the angrier I am.

Sorry to write SO much. I just thought you might appreciate and relate and maybe have advice to others who find themselves not getting the wedding they wanted but trying to at least make it one they enjoy… and not turn into a
complete wreck in the process.

And BOO Macy's.

Comments on One Offbeat Bride’s nightmare at Macy’s Bridal

  1. I’m sorry to hear about your experience darlin, and sorry to hear about your dear mama.

    I say write a very firm letter to Macy’s managers about their ridiculous standard of service.

    I just went wedding dress shopping for a dear friend. I don’t know if it is different here in Australia, but we didn’t need appointments for anywhere except one place. In particular, there was an AWESOME little boutique who were so friendly, helpful, hand-crafted and reasonably priced… there ARE muchos better places out there darling…
    big hugs to you ~

  2. Way back when this was first posted, I send Macy’s a letter giving them the heads up that someone had received such crappy treatment, and as of yet, they have not sent me anything other than an automated response.

    I guess the truth is that Macy’s really doesn’t care. I’d boycott them, but I never shop there anyhow…

  3. Siouxzi:
    We didn’t quite get laughed at in one store, but the behavior/demeanor of the associates was enough to make me walk out.

    75% of my bridal party (including myself) are plus-sized. There was no way in hell I was going to wear a strapless dress – it just wouldn’t do it for me. Two of my best women, a couple of other friends, and myself went on a dress-shopping excursion. The first place we ended up at was David’s Bridal. I was already gagging, but everyone insisted that sometimes you could find good deals. After seeing that they only had strapless dresses, one of my best women asked the first associate we saw: “What do brides with fat arms do?”

    “Wear a veil.” And she walked away. No kidding. I also had no idea that we would have had to make an appointment well in advance to try anything on, but after that little quip it didn’t matter — they weren’t getting a dime of my money!

    I waited patiently while the girls looked around for possibly suitable dresses for themselves, but we got out of there as soon as we could. We went to a little shop that’s been around forever. I explained my preferences and the associate didn’t raise an eyebrow. She started pulling out dresses, and eventually steered me to one in a special section of abandoned layaways. It fit perfectly, was $99, and it cost me $80 for her to add gorgeous Italian ruffle sleeves and shorten in a little. I didn’t really want a white dress, but paying $100 for a dress was too good to pass up! Someday, we’ll renew our vows, and I’ll go a little crazy.

  4. Hi Siouxzi,
    I had to write b/c my dad has lung cance; he was diagnosed this year 2 weeks after my daughter was born. And at the same time that my book came out. It really puts things (especially weddings) into perspective. I think you are so awesome to do this b/c of your love for your mom. I also just wanted you to know that I have been planning events, and weddings for a long time (I used to be the event director at Martha Stewart.) In my opinion, all you need is six weeks to plan a proper event/wedding. I think people wast way too much time planning the freaking wedding in the first place. Obviously you have been spending your time (gasp) actually building your relationship with your partner, which makes soooo much more sense in the world of reality. It’s totally unacceptable to have anyone treat you this way, especially a sales person from Macy’s. Unfortunately their are unkind people in the world. If you have any questions I would love to help! Good luck and enjoy every moment.

  5. People acted like we were crazy to plan our wedding in 8 months. People are really stupid. And I hope you did let Macy’s know what they did to you. I just don’t understand it. I have a friend who works for Federated. I’ll forward this post to him.

  6. Oh my god… you need to make this story public so those WHORES at Macy’s burn with shame. That is the most foul behavior. I know you have a lot to deal with and you probably want to forgive & forget but… consider writing an op-ed piece for your local paper! Good luck and congratulations.

  7. Okay, the way the sales associates treated you was ridiculous BUT I don’t think it has as much impact given that you stated in comments that you didn’t have any intention of spending money with them or any other store. They should have been far kinder and much more polite regardless of your circumstances, but I don’t think their reaction was as much to do with your appearance and more to do with the fact they knew they couldn’t get you a dress in time. Rude? Yes. Crappy? Yes. Hurtful? No, because you were never hoping to buy anything there. Write a letter to the store complaining about the service and hope they get a dressing down, IMHO.

  8. i hate macys…..they should be hexed. i feel for you becouse everytime i try to go out to stores to work on wedding planes and whatnot i get treated like crap. i have had women just stand up mid convo and say ok bye ill see you later and leave. no hand shake or anything. i cant stand people who are so rude

  9. Grrr!
    I had a similar experience at a David’s Bridal. Just awful. I hope you contacted Macy’s and got those jerks reprimanded.
    I guess in their world gals with tattoos and/or piercings like ourselves do not deserve couteous treatment. Ridiculous!
    I hope your wedding was fabulous, and I hope your mom is well.

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