One Offbeat Bride’s nightmare at Macy’s Bridal

Guest post by Siouxzi Rodeman

I get so many great emails from readers and someone of them are just meant to be shared with the world. Today, I wanted to share this email from Siouxzi, who had a nightmare dress shopping experience

macys bridal nightmare

Hey Ariel,
I wanted to say thanks I bought your book when we first got engaged. I really appreciated the anecdotes and advice. I thought I'd share what I'm going through right now with you.

My mother has stage IV lung cancer and also cancer in her pelvic bone. I don't say that for pity. It's just the situation we're in. My fiance and I never really did the whole on the knee surprise engagement. We'd decided drunkenly on night ages ago (I think this new year's maybe?) that we wanted to get married. My mother asked if we'd set a date, and the answer was no. We didn't even have an engagement ring. We saw it mostly as a thing for her to look forward to, maybe in two years.

Tuesday I got the call from my mom. The tumors are growing again, her lung was filled with fluid, they were going to drain it and start chemo on Friday. After a lot of crying and thinking and talking we decided to push up the wedding. To November 2007.

I've pretty much come to terms with all of that. And I'm so incredibly lucky to have great friends who are contributing in every way to help make our day as special as our relationship is. I have an incredible friend who is going to make my wedding gown. But first we wanted to try some on to see how they fit.

I'm definitely an offbeat bride. I'm pierced, tattooed and make dreads for burners, goths, ravers, and myself. So naturally, I expected some comments or whatever when I walked into a place, but I didn't expect this. My maid of honor and I went to Macy's. I've never been part of a bridal party, I had no idea I needed to make an appointment to try stuff on. So Jackie, my maid of honor took the lead, asking if we needed an appointment.

They said yes. (silence)

Jackie asked if they had any today, they said no. (silence)

Jackie asked if they had any this week, they said yes. (silence)

After way to much work to get them to try and find an hour for us to come by, they asked when the date was. We told them November 24th. Oh, wow, you know the date already, next November, blah blah. No, this November, we said.

And they laughed. Very much like the Dr. Demento show song, they laughed and laughed and then they laughed some more. And then they showed me the most hideous bridesmaid sample dresses walked away and we didn't see them again until we came out of that tiny closet.

To say I was upset is an understatement. I didn't cry in front of them because I refuse to let them to see me down. But I sure had a session later on. I'm not a princess bride. I don't need to have a tiara and be waited on hand and foot. But I'm sorry that my trying to have a wedding prior to my mom's death messes up the status quo wedding procedure. I'm not mad that they didn't have any appointments, though there were three consultants there and not a person other than us in site the whole time we were there.

I just don't see how laughing at a person, when you have no idea what their situation is, is acceptable behavior for a store like that. I was hurt at first but the more I think about it the angrier I am.

Sorry to write SO much. I just thought you might appreciate and relate and maybe have advice to others who find themselves not getting the wedding they wanted but trying to at least make it one they enjoy… and not turn into a
complete wreck in the process.

And BOO Macy's.
Cheers,
Siouxzi

Comments on One Offbeat Bride’s nightmare at Macy’s Bridal

  1. That’s just awful! I’ve only been engaged for a couple months, but so far going to the bridal shops has been the worst part of the planning, so I can totally relate. As a chubby bride, I haven’t exactly had the best experiences, either. Seems like it’s hard to get respect if you aren’t tall, thin, blonde, and rich.

    I’m sorry you had to go through that. Just know that there are good places out there. They’re just harder to find. I hope your wedding day is beautiful and wonderful.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. Cancer is really tough. I know; that’s how I lost my grandma, who raised me.

    About the Macy’s staff: I noticed that attitude at a lot of businesses now-a-days, and not just “big” chain businesses. Customer service these days has just gone down the shitter. You just keep your chin up, take your business elsewhere and tell as many people as you can how shitty you were treated at that store.

  3. I’m so sorry about your mom, too, Siouxzi. I lost mine to cancer seven years ago. Planning my wedding is tough without her, but I’ve figured out a way to bring her into it: charity favors in her name.

    On to the salesladies: they suck. Try avoiding the bridal shops all together. My bridesmaids are ordering their dresses from Target. That Issac Mizrahi knows how to make an awesome dress for cheap.

    • I haven’t ordered yet but I’m pretty sure I’m getting our bridesmaids dresses at Target too. I found styles very similar to bridal shops for half the price or less.

  4. Fuuuuuuck those Macy’s clerks! My god – I am so sorry you had to deal with that shit. And I’m even sorrier about your mom. I think you’re doing a good thing.

  5. Wow, Siouxzi, that really sucks. Yes, boo Macy’s. I am so sorry you had to deal with that during such a hard time. I can relate. My mom passed away when I was 22. I was the only one planning the funeral (no siblings, my step-dad was out of commission) and went to order several hundred chairs from a rental shop. I told them I needed the chairs in three days for my mother’s funeral and they said that was “Impossible! We need much more notice than that!”.
    Well excuse me for not being more on the ball!
    I don’t know if you want advice but I have a little. As hard as it might be for you, perhaps going to a smaller (kinder?) shop and explaining the situation. Also, looking online for recommended bridal boutiques. They are spendy but since you’re having your dress made it will be more for the experience of finding what type of gown you want.
    Hugs and best wishes from Seattle,
    Sam

  6. Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and encouragement. Luckily, even going in I knew that I was having my gown made for me by an incredibly talented lady who happens to be one of my brides maids, so we were just there looking for skirt styles to narrow things down. I think the real disappointment is that, as a person who provides services for others, I make it a priority to help a customer find a solution to their situation. Especially if I’m not able to help them. I believe it’s as important to guide someone to an answer even if it’s not going to result in a sale for me rather than let them go away feeling as lost as they were when they came to me. That’s all I with Macy’s could have done for me.

    But never-the-less. All the plans are falling nicely into place and this wedding is going to be the best that we (friends and family included) could have hoped.

    Cheers,
    Siouxzi

  7. Siouxzi – I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I totally agree with your last comment about being blown away at the rude customer service you experienced especially when you provide customer service. I can’t even imagine what crawled up these sales people’s butts. Good luck with the rest of your wedding planning, just so you know it is totally do-able to plan a wedding with short notice. I did it and it was great!

  8. My heart goes out to you and your mom. I’m so sorry.

    I get so angry when people make assumptions about other people’s actions. How could they laugh without knowing your motivation for last-minute planning?

  9. Rebecca – funny you mention that. Anytime I’ve started to explain the sudden change of the date I have to preface everyone’s question with, “No, I’m not preggers” Everyone assumes. That’s why they’re all asses 😉

    • That one I completely understand. I got asked that one just for being engaged.
      Don’t know why.

  10. That’s bullshit. This isn’t high school, for all they know you were about to spend thousands of dollars there. They aren’t very good sales people (arent’ they on commission?), I would call the store and report them. I bet you get top notch treatment, and maybe a discount or gift card. Let the store make up for it. Congratulations on your engagement by the way, I think it’s great your mom will be there for your day. I can’t imagine mine without my mom.

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