The offbeat bride: Angel, Mortgage Specialist
Her offbeat partner: Candi, Photo Tech
Date and location of wedding: The Lodge Banquet Hall, Buffalo NY — June 26, 2012
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: I'm gothic and sarcastic and she's bubbles and sunshine. Even our dresses matched our personalities: black for me and sky blue for her. Not to mention that she's a vegetarian.
Somehow we managed to incorporate both of ourselves into this wedding and stay on our $3,000 budget. Fortunately, I'm crafty and Candi can cook!
I made the ring bearer's pillow, my headpiece, the invitations, the favor boxes, and the cupcake stands. I ordered the flowers wholesale online and made the flower arrangements and bouquets myself. Paying for a cake was out of our budget, but everyone loved Candi's cardamom cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.
Tell us about the ceremony: Candi and I are both atheists, so it was important that there be no mention of a god or spiritualism in the ceremony. I was fortunate to have found Michelle Snyder from Yellow Bird Wedding. The secular ceremony she wrote for us was so beautiful and poignant.
Our biggest challenge: Stress was our biggest challenge. Self-catering was probably the biggest concern, and if we were to do it over, we'd probably just get it catered. I hated knowing Candi was sweating her butt off cooking everything. But she had a lot of help from her best friend Cassandra, who spent hours in the kitchen helping her with the cooking.
The flowers were another challenge. They were delivered on the hottest day of the year, so some of them came dead on arrival. Thankfully, most of them survived. I had to keep them in our home office with a fan running at all times and ice packs underneath them. I was constantly checking on them and refreshing their water.
Another huge challenge was the clashing of our tastes. Candi wanted a room full of wild flowers and brightly colored everything and I wanted something that resembled a funeral. We argued quite a bit about it, but our love for one another and our amazing friends acting as third-party buffers helped us through it.
My favorite moment: By far the most meaningful moment was walking down the aisle. I still get teary-eyed thinking about it. It was something I just didn't think was ever going to happen. We moved to New York from Florida where we had been together for ten years. It seemed so unreal that I was finally getting the chance to walk down the aisle and say I do to the person with whom I had spent so much of my life.
The second most meaningful moment were the toasts given to us by our bridesmaids. The fact they care — not that we're lesbians, or atheists, or whatever, but that they just care about us — was amazing.
Was there anything you were sure was going to be a total disaster that unexpectedly turned out great? We choreographed a group dance to “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats. It had been hard getting everyone together to rehearse due to our conflicting schedules. We thought it might end up being awful, but figured it didn't hurt to give it a shot. It didn't come across as a polished dance, but we did all get through it and had a great time.
My advice for Offbeat Brides: Plan ahead and break things down into tasks. Search the thrift stores for bargains. You won't believe what treasures you'll find there. Look at things for what they could be, not what they are.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? Never before have I had friends come through for me like they did for our wedding. I've always been someone who has to do everything myself, and had a hard time delegating. But they really came through and allowed me to trust them to get things done. It also proved that despite our differences, Candi and I will always pull through for one another and be each other's support.
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Photography: Tom Stricktland
- Officiant: Yellow Bird Wedding
- Flowers:Blooms by the Box
- Dress: EdressT.com
- Shoes: DSW
- Linens: CV Linens
- Invitation graphics: Graphics Fairy
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!