My New Year’s resolution is to shut my mouth

Guest post by HazardGirl
You got a purdy mouth…

My New Year's resolution is to shut my mouth about my wedding. Here's why…

Oddly, I know for most people that it is family that gives them a hard time over choices, but in my case it's my friends. Not that anyone is saying “OH! You can't do that!” — they would never do that — they just are all trying to be so “helpful” that they keep wanting me to take things to another level I don't want to go to.

Examples:

Friend 1: Oh, are you going to do rose petals down the aisle outside like I did? It's so pretty!
Me: No, it's a garden, I want to let the living flowers decorate and just go with that.
Friend 1: Oh, you have to though. I'll bring some.
Me: Grrrrrrr.

Friend 2: I have tons of extra sparkly crystals to put around your centrepieces. They're so pretty!
Me: Well, we kind of have this '40s wartime vintage thing happening — they don't really work.
Friend 2: Oh, but you'll love them, remember how sparkly my tables were?
Me: Grrrrr.

Now, my wedding isn't until September, so I know I can talk them down on the specifics they've all dreamed up so far, but I am going on a wedding-talk-shut-down until we get way way closer to the wedding, and everything is done. But, from now on when anyone asks, I'm going with the, “Oh, I want there to be some surprises, we are keeping a bunch of stuff to ourselves!” with a big smile and a change of subject.

Comments on My New Year’s resolution is to shut my mouth

  1. I’m with you! Had a similar conversation about veils and flowers last week. My snarky responses got me nowhere. I will do my best to keep my mouth shut as well – luckily I only have until April.

  2. Jeff’s sister offered mirrors for the center of our tables, because she was “just going to sell them”. I knew it was not our look, so I told her that I really didn’t think we would have a use for them and to go ahead and sell them to some other lucky bride. Luckily it was the last I heard of the mirrors…
    But this is a good reminder to me, the been-there-done-that-have-all-the-supplies bride, not to insist on sharing…

  3. I hear ya sista’-I love my sister/maid of honor and best friend but they are very traditional right down to photo poses, rose boquets and dresses. My mother is upset that my father isn’t going to “give me away” my FH and I have lived together for 9 years and have a son. I’m pretty sure I am a big girl that can “give” myself away.

  4. Ho, buddy, I understand this. I told my best friend I planned on getting married in black because it’s the color I’m most comfortable in, and her jaw dropped. She could accept not getting married in white, but going all the way to black was just a little too much.

    Then again, what else could I expect from the pink frilly one? Our fashion sense is about as different as could be.

    • I’m thinking I vaguely remember the “little house” books that Laura Ingalls ended up getting married in a black dress for practical reasons… maybe you can use that convince you friend that white dresses were not always the only ‘traditional’ choice…

  5. First off, your friends sound really sweet! Secondly, I think your plan is a good one. An alternative would be to preface every wedding comment with “I’m not really looking for suggestions here, just smile and nod” 😀

  6. Ha ha, isn’t it funny how people want to give you stuff from their wedding when it’s your wedding and not their’s. You had your wedding it was beautiful and uniquely you, now let me have mine please. Sell what you don’t need as you suggested.

    Yeah good idea about keeping it a surprise, it will make more sense for them to see it all together and appreciate your vision. Keep the creative juices flowing.

  7. My bridesmaid called me cheap when I told her the maids were carrying lanterns instead of flowers. To my face, she called me cheap. My mother always told me you handle a womanizer with a baseball bat; say “I am not interested and I will never be interested. Evar.” I’m thinking this may be a good approach with people like this, too. “Thanks for the suggestion, but I am not interested, and I will never be interested.”

    • My MoH called my whole wedding nasty and cheap (along with some other horrible words), because I wanted simplistic invitations, as opposed to what she wanted to design for me; triple folded, embossed, crazy expensive ones. It started a series of arguments that resulted in the end of our friendship. You’ve got the right idea there – “I am not interested, and I will never be interested.”

      • I’ve had the same issues with my mother in law to be. Very rude and disrespectful to me and her son.

  8. Hmm, now I’m trying to imagine a wedding (at least decor-wise) where a bride didn’t say no, so everyone contributed something random. Flower petals down the aisle! Crystal sparkly tables! Bunting and ribbons and snowflakes! Plastic flower / real flower / Star Wars centerpieces! Linen tablecloths and bedsheet tablecloths! It could end-up a horrible mess, but it could also end up kitschy-awesome…

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