The offbeat bride: Erin, Writer (and Tribe member)
Her offbeat partner: Michael, ER Nurse
Date and location of wedding: San Antonio Catholic Mission, Placitas, New Mexico — May 21, 2011
Our offbeat wedding at a glance: The ceremony was for Michael and his family who are Catholic. I don't practice organized religion so I happily defaulted to that side of the family for the ceremony. We handed out yay flags for people to wave.
The reception was held at a local bed and breakfast called Hacienda Vargas. The reception represented my side of the family who are singers, performers, artists, freaks, geeks, and just about every other creative type.
We did a talent show to pay tribute to all of these people. Among many fantastic acts, I belly-danced in my wedding dress, Michael sang a duet with my mother, and a friend of the family surprised us by doing a dance on stilts!
I hadn't wanted to do a bouquet toss since I thought it was silly. But people kept telling me that I had to do it. So, with the help of a friend, I built a catapult and launched the bouquet to “The Imperial March” from Star Wars. I encouraged everyone to get out there to catch the bouquet, and we had a nice crowd of women as well as men and kids of all ages.
Michael has always dreamed of having a military wedding where you get to walk under an arch of swords. But he never actually joined the military, so we used lightsabers and made our grand entrance to another song from Star Wars: the Throne Room theme. We got such a big cheer from our guests that we felt like rock stars!
Our cake topper was one of my favorites. It was featured on Offbeat Bride.
Tell us about the ceremony: Our ceremony was held in a tiny Catholic mission in Placitas, New Mexico. The mission dates back to the 1800s and Michael's family attends church there every Sunday. We chose a reading from the Song of Songs:
“The voice of my beloved! Behold, he comes leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag: behold, he stands behind our wall, he looks forth through the windows, showing himself through the lattice. My beloved spoke, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land; The fig tree puts forth its green figs, and the vines with the tender grapes give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. O my dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for sweet is your voice, and your countenance is lovely.”
Of course, I had visions of Michael leaping about like a deer, but don't tell anyone.
Our biggest challenge: I was not one of those brides who loved planning. I was pretty miserable through a lot of the planning process. If I had been left to my own devices to plan, I would have probably been done in a month and would have remained pretty sane. But family, friends, and even random strangers all wanted to have a say. I got so many “pearl-clutching” responses to what I was planning that you'd think I was planning on a nude wedding with puppy bloodletting as a finale. I stuck to my guns for the most part and let go of what I could. One of those compromises turned out to be one of my favorite elements of the wedding — the bouquet catapult. There's always a sliver lining, but sometimes it comes in the form of siege weaponry.
I can genuinely say that I found a great deal of sanity on the Offbeat Bride Tribe. I was able to vent, get feedback and reassurance, and I honestly don't know what I would have done without all of those amazing people.
My favorite moment: My father walked me down the aisle. As we were standing outside waiting for our cue, we were laughing and cracking jokes. My dad and I have had a rocky relationship in the past, but we've worked through it and are very close now. It meant a lot for him to be there by my side.
During the vows I cried. I cried a lot. Michael reached up and brushed away a tear at one point. It may seem corny, but I will always remember that gesture.
My funniest moment: When it was time to cut the cake, no one had remembered an actual cake knife. We stood around for a few seconds while the bed and breakfast staff scrambled for something. Then Michael reached into his pocket and produced a huge tactical knife one of our friends had given him as a wedding gift and used that to cut the cake.
Was there anything you were sure was going to be a total disaster that unexpectedly turned out great? I agonized over the guestbook. In retrospect, it seems a bit silly to have put so much energy and worry into such a small element of the wedding, but I was caught in that wedding planning trap of “IT HAS TO BE PERFECT!”
I agonized so long that I didn't have anything the week before the wedding. At that point, my stress levels were at an all-time high. I ended up saying, “fuck this” and ordered one of those fingerprint trees from Etsy. I found a place where you can buy a PDF and have it printed locally. I was convinced that since I'd seen them all over the internet that people would be bored and it would be a failure as a guestbook. Yeah. People loved it. I loved it. After it was filled with thumbprints and framed, we hung it on the wall in the living room. It's beautiful for one thing, and I love looking at all the names and prints. We have a toes print from my niece who was only a month old at the time of the wedding, and we have some prints of people who have passed away since the wedding. I'm so glad it worked out that way.
My advice for offbeat brides: Stay centered. Remember who you are and why you are doing what you are doing. Then, only share your wedding planning with people on a need-to-know basis. I hit so many walls with people and got so many “the sanctity of marriage” speeches. One way to go would be to delegate some tasks to the naysayers so they still feel included.
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Photography: Brandon Johnson
- Dress: David's Bridal
- Hair clips for the bride and bridesmaids: Etsy seller templebeautiful
- Cake topper: Etsy seller theaircastle
- Papel Picado: Casa Bonampak
- Thumbprint tree: Etsy seller YourKeepsakeCo
- D20 bouquet charm: Etsy seller pawandclawdesigns
- Bridesmaid jewelry: Etsy seller sherry19682008
- Boutonnieres, feathers, flower girl pomander: Save on Crafts
- Venue: Hacienda Vargas
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!