I have not enjoyed the wedding process so far. Five months after the proposal, and we still haven't started planning properly.
Why have I been putting it off?
Because every time I come up with an idea, I get someone complaining how it is not suitable for them, always followed by “but it's your day you should do what YOU want.”
But it is not my day, not a day about me. And it never has been.
For us, our wedding isn't a religious ceremony or tradition — there is no real significance to it. We recognize that we are choosing to do something because it is the social norm or what is expected of us. For us it is a celebration of our love, because we believe our love, like yours, is worth celebrating.
We are a social couple, and always have been. So when I had a tantrum and said that I just wanted to elope, and we had a look at what was important to us in a wedding…
…we realized that what was most important to us was our family and friends. That is why we want to have a wedding.
We want to include the people we love on a day that is “all about us.” But we are choosing to include our families and friends, because that is what is important and that is why we are having a wedding.
Our wedding is not about us; it's about bringing our families together, it's about including the little things that are important to everyone — whether those things mean that much to me or not.
Although I now realise that I will need to be calm when my family tells me their opinions and lets me know what they want. At least I can think about why I'm doing this, and remember that I love them no matter how bad their ideas are.
My wedding isn't about me, and that is okay.