My mother is my best friend and I would love for her to be my maid of honour. My dad thinks that it's not appropriate because I “should choose someone my own age” and “the mother of the bride is a role that is demanding enough.” What do you guys think? Does anyone have experience with this topic? What do I need to take into account?
I LOVE this question! I can definitely relate to having your mom be a top candidate for maid/matron of honor since she'd probably end up doing most of the leg work if I was having a wedding (sorry, mom!). Plus, we're just really tight. But in her particular case, she might not want to be anything but the mother of the bride since that designation is pretty rad in itself.
Obviously, on this site, there are no rules when it comes to picking your wedding party members (or not even having one at all). I think it more depends on what your mom wants. If she'd rather have the honor of being in the role of “mother of the bride” and any traditions that go along with that, then that may be her preference. Mothers and parents can often have roles in unity ceremonies, flower ceremonies, and generally be honored in the program and toasting at the rehearsal dinner and/or reception.
The maid/matron of honor often (but not always) has duties that involve throwing showers and/or bachelorette parties. It may actually be a lot for her to take on, especially if she's already helping you in the down and dirty wedding planning. Adding traditional maid of honor duties, like planning the other parties, might be a lot.
However, there's absolutely no real rules anymore when it comes to which wedding party members, friends, or family members plans which parties or is involved in which planning duties. I'd suggest that if you do plan to have your mom as maid/matron of honor, give her the choice in which activities she'd like a role. Then whatever roles are left are delegated to your friends or other wedding party members. Just having your mom in the wedding party alone will shake things up enough to let everyone know that it may deviate from the norms they may be expecting. But it totally CAN be done and will be awesome regardless. If you'd love for her to take on the role and she's willing and excited, absolutely do it.
TLDR: see if being maid/matron of honor is something your mother would want, and if so, make it happen! If she'd rather let someone else do the party-planning legwork, that's cool, too. Customize the planning to what makes sense for her, you, and the rest of your squad. Ultimately, it's just a title that can be as flexible as you want it to be.
Fellow readers: would you consider having your mom as maid of honor? Help a fellow Offbeat Bride out with your experiences!