Marry this, bitches — four ways to save your sanity

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Gah…urgh…argh!
I'm totally burnt out on even THINKING about my stupid wedding.

It's non-stop drama and I'm totally overwhelmed! I feel like I'm starting to get so worked up that I'm no longer thinking clearly.

My clever theme has become irritating, and the prospect of getting my family together sounds like the dawn of WW III. Help?

-Danica

Yeah, it can all start to feel like a bit much sometimes, can't it? There's a whole chapter in Offbeat Bride dedicated to ways to preserve your sanity when planning a wedding (STAYING SANE: How to keep your proverbial shit together), but that was only the tip of the iceberg. Here are five more ways to lift your spirits when you feel like your offbeat wedding is coming apart at its DIY, craftsy seams:

1. Write it out. Sit down and write the nastiest, most graphic letter you can about everything that's gone wrong with your wedding planning and how it makes you feel. Curse out your vendors, describe in detail the ways you're going to beat each of your guests senseless with the handcrafted favors your aunt has told you aren't good enough. Spare no detail, and when you run out of rants, start drawing. How about a lovely picture of your prudish officiant's blood splattered on the sacrificial altar? How do those wedding magazines make you feel? Get it out! Once you're really REALLY done, take your awesome, violent letter out to the backyard or an alley and burn it while waving your arms around and chanting “fuck that shit, fuck that shit.” This is performance art therapy!

2. Bury yourself in world news. Nothing like a little attitude readjustment to slap that wedding angst right out of your mind. Oh, I'm sorry: was I just freaking out about my velum paper while people are being burned alive in small villages across the globe? Why, hello there, perspective! It's nice to see you again.

3. Masturbate. A fail-safe solution for many breeds of emotional turmoil and angst, it works for wedding planning stress, too.

4. Get organized. A lot of wedding anxiety is the result of feeling like you're forgetting something or don't quite have a handle on what's still left to do. Take a few minutes to get all your ducks in a row. I loathe theknot.com, but they do have a helpful wedding planning checklist tool, that's extra awesome for offbeat brides because if you're not doing a bunch of the more traditional stuff on the list, you can immediately check those things off. It's infinitely helpful though to have a solid idea of what you've done (yay, accomplishment!) and what's left. In my experience, not knowing what's left to do is more stressful than having a big to-do list. It's like being swarmed by invisible bees, as opposed to swatting flies one by one.

How do you reign it all in when you start to feel overwhelmed by wedding planning?

Comments on Marry this, bitches — four ways to save your sanity

  1. My wedding is in over a year and plan so far are just adeas being trown around and I’m already stressed out. “staying sane” helps… and this list definatly got a chuckle out me of… thanks! (I forget my myspace address but I’m number two on your friends list lol)

  2. i’d definitely have to agree on the masturbation point, but I feel dumb, because had i randomly seen the ‘vulva’ sculpture, I’d have never known that that was what it was ::blush::

  3. Julia, when enjoying your wedding stress-relieving masturbation, just picture the sculpture. All things will be clear. 😉

  4. it’s soooo easy to get overwhelmed. everyone wants tell you how to do your wedding…but it’s not there’s! Sometimes it’s good to distance yourself from the folks who are strangling you with their ideas so you can stick to yours!

  5. Hi Ariel,

    I stumbled upon your page after looking at some photos from my friend Michelle Goodman’s book-signing party. I love this photo of you on the train tracks. Is this included in your book?

    Hannah

  6. got here via ‘que sera sera.’ been engaged for 2 months, getting married in 2 more. the way i figure, if you spent a year and a half pulling your wedding together, you’ll over-analyze every detail, and then when things go wrong, you’ll be devastated, because you spent a year and a half planning the damn thing. however, if you throw it together in 4 months, you make waaaaay more ‘the dress fits, i’ll take it’ decisions, and then when things fall apart on the big day, you say ‘well of course that happened. we threw the thing together in 4 months!’ and then you have a swig of your champagne and carry on dancing because hey, your groom didn’t bail.

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