Kirsten's community potluck wedding • Offbeat Wed (was Offbeat Bride)

The offbeat bride: Kirsten, RN and baby catcher (See Kirsten's page on the OBT!)

Her offbeat partner: Ebony, woodworker

Location & date of wedding: USO building, Fort Worden, Port Townsend, WA. 1/12/2008

What made our wedding offbeat: I had a white dress…that's where the tradition ended! We agreed at the outset that we would not pay ANYONE to do ANYTHING. We invited our friends and family to “bring what makes them who they are” to share. We had no idea what our wedding would look like — we were not disappointed.

I baked lasagna for 200, we had a potluck of drinks and desserts. A beautiful and delicious homemade wedding cake just APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE! Our friends sang, read stories, played music, put on improv performances, made up carnival games, and told each other's families waaaaay too much about the new in laws!

They choreographed interpretive dances, made strawberry wine, gathered pieces of our earth from a friends property and made that hall the most beautiful and sacred space I've ever seen! We danced, laughed and came to know one another in a whole new way.

My husband and i did the same — as a woodworker, he carved his vows into a 21 piece puzzle that he assembled as he read them off. I wrote him a dramatic monologue.

At the end, our respective families stood and took our vows with us. “Will all my relations who are willing and able please stand with me now and repeat, Ebony, we are your family”.

Our biggest challenge: Keeping our heads straight. There is a lot of BS out there about weddings. We went in totally blind to what “wedding etiquette” was. So we were too deep into “inappropriate” before we had a chance to freak.

But once things got going and i saw how far “off” we were — it was hard not to get frightened of offending someone or screwing it all up. We just kept reminding each other, this is about our MARRIAGE, not our wedding. We couldn't fail. These people loved us and knew us, what did they expect? We just kept loving each other through the pressure.

My favorite moment: About 9 hours into the nonstop flow of folks running to the front to share themselves and their love, I looked at my husband and realized that we had truly created something together … he kissed me and said “We did it baby, you're my WIFE!!”

My offbeat advice: I am pretty sure that all that advice people give about “it's your wedding” is true. And truly, traditions that are meaningless to you just hide who you and your future mate ARE. Like my dad said “love sometimes takes some polishing, MAKE IT SHINE!”

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn: Take a look at the community-style potluck wedding!