I refuse to wear a fake smile on my wedding

Guest post by LaToya
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After a very hard year with lots of family drama, I came to the realisation that the definition of family does not limit itself to one's bloodline.

With my upcoming nuptials, many family members have been asking whether I will be including members of the family that they know for a fact have nothing but bad wishes for me. To which I have honestly said: “No.”

My reasons for not inviting certain family members to my wedding are simple…

I refuse to wear a false smile at my wedding.

I refuse to have that moment where I really don't want to go over to a particular table to greet them as a newly married woman.

My only fake smile should be directed at the photographer as I pose in every which way in my gorgeous dress. It will not be directed at individuals who would show up out of spite and maliciousness.

I want to feel gorgeous from the inside out, be beaming with love and affection for my new husband and newly adopted family.

And while many think I will regret my decision not to invite certain family members, I truly believe that my wedding day is not a day to fix wrongs — that can be done in therapy.

So! To all those asking if I'm inviting those said individuals: again I say no. I am a woman of my word and I want to begin my life with my husband floating on a cloud of good vibes and best wishes. Save the drama for group therapy.

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Comments on I refuse to wear a fake smile on my wedding

  1. Kudos to you! When it’s time for me to get married I plan on having the same philosophy. Even if it means the only people on my side of the aisle are my parents :)Enjoy your day!!

  2. That’s awesome. I did the same thing at my wedding. We just chose not to invite people that we knew were gonna cause drama and ruin the day for us and our family. If they choose to take that as an insult, well that’s their choice.

  3. Rock out girl!!

    I did the same thing back at my first wedding and it was oh so worth it. Being strong and making it your day is the greatest gift you can give to yourself, your fiance and your guests because it will be the most relaxed and fun event ever.

    Enjoy!! <3 <3 <3

  4. Good philosophy. The people attending your wedding should know this. It will definitely make them feel special and contribute towards making the event more intimate.

  5. I am going to do the same thing, I’m glad I’m not alone. I always get the “You HAVE to invite your mother”…but actually I don’t, because she never does anything but stress me out and make my feel guilty and tell me what a horrible person I am. Thank you for helping me not feel so alone. 🙂

    • I am also in your boat – “But it’s your MOTHER!” “oh but you’ll regret this looking back” etc etc… well no, actually, i won’t regret not giving myself serious anxiety on my wedding day (and every living moment between then and now), and frankly she is not part of the family I am creating here.
      I really needed an article like this right now, and I feel a lot better about being able to explain when people inevitably ask me why and how i could do that.

      • I applaud all of you for doing what is right for you emotionally. Especially when it has to do with parents! When you are the child of a parent who is abusive or who has a personality disorder (both my mother and father have clinical narcissistic personality disorder and have been mentally/emotionally abusive throughout my whole life), so I have finally (after 40!) cut off contact with them. People who know me and my story have been wildly supportive, but friends and acquaintances who don’t know the full story keep pressuring me to “just let it go”/”they’re the only parents you have” etc. No one who has not had an abusive parent will ever be able to understand the hell or the toll it can take.

        Long story short, definitely no room for hostile, selfish, or abusive people at (y)our wedding, even if they are immediate relatives.

  6. I completely agree! There are certain family members who will not be invited to my wedding. I don’t want to be around you any other day, so what makes you think I wanna start over on my wedding day???

    Folks love to make things about them. Kudos to you for standing your ground!

  7. I didn’t invite my own father to my wedding for similar reasons, and it was one of the best decisions I ever made during wedding planning. Good luck to all you ladies, and happy weddings!

  8. I’ve never even met my husband’s biological father, but from what I have heard, I don’t blame my husband for not inviting him. Both my husband and my brother in law have told me that this guy was nothing more than a sperm donor and they consider their step-dad to be their real father. No one needs to deal with that kind of drama on their wedding day.

  9. Well done for taking a stand. Your wedding day is about YOU and your happiness.
    There are no rules when it comes to your guest list, just a hell of a lot of old-fashioned expectation and familial obligation.
    No couple should ever have to justify or even explain their guest list, even when the reasons aren’t obvious to everyone else.

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