After a year of long-distance, he surprised me and decided to move to Memphis, my hometown, to be with me. Two years after we met, we moved in together and were doing great. So great, that we got engaged and started planning the wedding for the next year.
I poured my heart and soul into the wedding plans to try and make it the best day it could be. It was going to be a celebration of our love and commitment to each other, so I wanted it to be absolutely amazing. A few weeks before the wedding I had everything planned out to a T and was so excited for our big day.
Five days before the wedding the unexpected happened. My fiancé and I sat down and he told me that he was not in love with me, and did not want to marry me, or spend the rest of his life with me.
So I canceled my offbeat wedding…
I was nearly there, you know. I'd bought a second hand dress and Irregular Choice shoes. I had booked my venue and I was organising... Read more
I was in complete shock and had no idea what to think or do. I was numb. The next couple days were a blur of calling guests, canceling services, and figuring out our living arrangements. Fortunately, my friends and family surrounded me and showed me endless love and support.
As the day that was supposed to be my wedding day approached, none of us knew what to do, think, or feel. I knew that a pity party was the farthest thing from what I wanted or needed. A few people brought up the idea of trashing the dress, and at first it sounded crazy…
My mother had spent so much money on the dress and alterations, so I was nervous to even think about destroying it, let alone try and pitch the idea to her. But after thinking about it, I knew that doing something to mark the occasion was the perfect thing for me. I was not going to let my ex-fiancé's mistake of letting me go take away my happiness.
What I learned from canceling my wedding
After canceling our wedding, with a heavy heart, I decided to take my obsession with list-making to another level. Here is a compilation of the... Read more
My bridesmaids and parents supported the idea 100% and even joined me in their own dresses and suit. My friend Carolyn didn't even wait for my photographer Elizabeth to say “go” — she just kind of threw the paint on me.
The moment the paint hit my dress… I was free. All the disappointment, all the hurt… I just felt it leave me. I can't even describe how liberating and cathartic the experience was for me. I let go of all the hurt and became myself again.
I am a strong woman who believes that everything happens for a reason. We all face adversity in our lives, but what really defines us is how we decide to overcome that adversity. I decided that I will not let this tragedy and heartbreak consume me, and bring me down in life.
Through the beginning of 2015, a portion of each wedding dress purchased while my dress is displayed will go to a Memphis non-profit that helps other women learn how to find their inner strength.
How to notify guests about a canceled wedding after a breakup
Sadly, we have decided to call off the wedding. We sent out the Save The Dates a while ago, and we're going to each notify... Read more
Ultimately, I have come out of this experience a stronger and better person, and I am excited for the future knowing that God has a plan for me. Always remember to remain true to yourself and believe in your own strength and you can overcome anything life throws at you.
Updated to add
Here's a video, from Shelby's dad!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Sr32hzRd8U&feature=youtu.be
I realize there are already a bazillion comments on this amazing post but I just had to add mine because it was just that wonderful to see, read and feel. Thank you for sharing this with us!!
Shelby, sorry you had to go through rejection. I suffered rejection with my Dad but thankfully you seem to have a great Dad. Rejection is never fun however, so I commend you for handling it with such grace, mercy and seeming forgiveness. Understanding that everything turns out for the best because your life is not ruled by kismet, the roll of the dice or fate, but by the hand of God helps to stabilize the strong woman, separating her from those who allow others to ruin their inner peace. November 1st happens to be my and my husband’s anniversary. On the day you were experiencing such emotional pain and then release my husband and I were celebrating 34 years of happiness downtown at the Peabody. We live in Cordova. He’s from here. I’m from FL. He and I were both rejected by our previous spouses. We were the dump-ees, not the dump-ers as we like to say. He had been married and had 2 little ones, I never had any kids. As I’m sure you were told by those in your life who have lived through divorce, especially when there are children involved- it could have been worse- much worse. At the time, friends told me what you seem to already know, that this is for the best even though it takes a while for that notion to break through the trauma. I’m thankful for you and the good that has already come from your painful ordeal. May you continue to be a comfort to others and be comforted by the One who will never leave you or forsake you. May He bring you to the place where you discover completeness internally and externally. XOX
i couldnt stop smiling while reading this story. This is awesome!
You rock young lady. All my best wishes for your future. You are an inspiration!
You’re a beautiful girl, your reaction is incredibly admirable, and every girl should envy your self confidence and sense of humor. I don’t know you or the guy who decided not to continue his life with you, but I’m positive that it was his loss. I saw your story on Yahoo! and wanted to tell you that you earned my respect. congratulations for your new start, and all the best!
u were saved. New Beginning. He didn’t dump you rather he was dumped. In india we call it playing Holi with colors. Shine girl…….. Hope your life is colorful ….