No he doesnt wear a ring

I follow a few popular wedding-related Twitter accounts — I chalk it up to a market research kind of thing. Most of the time I just ignore the tweets as 98% of them are pure WIC fluff. “Flowers worthy of escorting you down the aisle.” “Have you ever thought of wearing a red wedding dress!?” “The time between your engagement and your wedding is an ideal time to begin a regular beauty and fitness regimen.” “Make sure to buy more things! You need more things! Things that are shiny!” And then this tweet caught my eye:

“Do U Care if UR Husband (or Future Husband) Doesn't wear a Wedding Ring?”

I read it and immediately wanted to tweet back — Why the hell would I care!? Why the hell would anyone care!? And so on. But I thought, naw, totally not worth my time. And then it got worse as I read this response:

Even better question. RT @[redacted]: @BrideTide More important question: WHY wouldn't he want to?

Ooooh, my blood was boiling after reading that. To question someone's love and basic morality based on the fact that they don't want to wear a piece a of jewelry just seemed beyond insulting to me.

So I just had to respond in the piddly 140 characters at my disposal:

@BrideTide Why not? Bc he has a job where wearing jewelry is dangerous. Bc he hates wearing jewelry. Bc he doesn't need 1 to show he's committed [cont.] Mine doesn't wear a wedding ring and I couldn't care less. He gave it a go at first and he just never got used to it. S'okay by me

And it is okay by me! I'll be honest that at first I was bummed… I think wedding rings on a dude (especially your own dude) are sexy! Every time I saw that flash of metal on his finger I gave me a thrill — it's all sexy “grown up” of him.

But when I stepped back and looked at the reality of the situation I saw that, honestly, that ring spent more time spinning on the table in front of him, or alternately, rolling off the table and onto the floor, than on his finger. And I just saw how uncomfortable it made him. He really HATES wearing jewelry, and he complained that the air conditioning in the recording studio where he works made the ring so cold that his finger ached.

Now, I could've bitched and nagged and guilted my husband into just accepting his be-ringed fate, but I had realize that, even though that ring gave me a thrill, it's not at all worth his discomfort for one minute.

And what's the point of it really? ‘It's symbol to show that he's devoted and faithful to me,' is what I came up with. But isn't it okay that the symbol just be that he freaking MARRIED ME!? I mean, what more do I need? This man stood in front of family, friends, and a few complete strangers, and exchanged vows with me — do I need more than THAT? And the answer was, obviously, no. There doesn't need to be a physical symbol when his vows alone and my trust in him are enough to show me (and everyone else?) that he is devoted and faithful to me.

So, no, he doesn't wear a ring, and I'm okay with it. But I'll keep wearing mine because I think it's purrrrty.

And for you LOTR nerds out there, you might get a kick out of the version of this post that my husband created late last night while I was sleeping, unawares… No, he doesn't wear “the precious.”

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Comments on No, he doesn’t wear a ring

  1. When my husband and I married we didn’t have rings because we couldn’t afford them. We had a second wedding to pacify my religious family where the bought us rings. We never wear them. He works as a computer programmer so it’s not comfortable and I forget. He married me twice we don’t need ring to prove we are committrd.

  2. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If he can’t remember he’s married without a wedding ring, what makes you think he’ll remember with it on?

  3. We’ve discussed the ring thing…he’s not a fan of jewelry but he promises to give the thing a go. My feelings are pretty in line with the OP; While it matters somewhat to me and it’s definitely my preference that he wear it, ultimately, I love him enough to choose his comfort over my own emotional attachment to the symbolism.

    We’re going to try to find one he can tolerate and see how it goes.

  4. What I’m wondering is, are there other solutions out there that we haven’t thought of yet? My fiance is a contractor, and in the same situation of wanting to wear a ring (or at least being open to it) but knowing that it’s too dangerous to wear at work, and not wanting to be taking it off all the time, for fear of losing it.

    We’ve talked about the tattoo option, but I’m wondering if anyone has any advice or ideas about solutions that would allow the default to be that he wears his ring on a daily basis, without the danger of getting hurt. A silicone ring that won’t damage his finger? A chain around his neck where he can wear the ring if he’s doing dangerous/hard-on-the-hands work? We’ve talked about the tattoo option too, but just want to see if there are other “physical” ring options out there we haven’t thought of. Thanks!

  5. My SO is a beekeeper, and works with his hands a lot, so it isn’t really practical for him to wear a ring…he also dislikes wearing jewelry. I’m mainly happy with him not wearing a ring, but really want to exchange rings in the ceremony…any ideas? We’ve thought I could wear his ring around my neck post-ceremony, but I am not really a necklace person…Ill be wearing my engagement ring (which may double as my wedding ring bc why not).

  6. So I’m having the opposite problem…. I honestly don’t care that my husband wears one or not. He’s a musician (percussionist and drummer) and his hands swell time to time and lately it’s been really irritating his skin. However he cares! He says he feels naked without it. I need suggestion for alternatives. He can’t get a tattoo due to him being a teacher (no visible tattoos). Any suggestion would be helpful.

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