How a trash bag helps you go pee all by yourself while wearing big ol’ wedding dress

Guest post by Alex Tinsley

how to pee in your dress

Things I love: Fluffy wedding dresses, staying hydrated, my bridesmaids.

Things I don't love: Having the third help me handle the first in order to deal with the consequences of the second.

I figured this trick out just prior to my wedding, as my dress was (as you can see) particularly unruly and I didn't really love the idea of employing a small army to help me keep it out of the toilet water (though my bridesmaids were willing to help, bless 'em). Had it been a bit easier to get in and out of, I might have just taken it off, but no — that was a complicated, multi-person operation as well, involving a whole bunch of lacing and carefully placed safety pins and chicken cutlets — not to mention being topless in a public restroom.

And of course, I'm the kind of person who has to pee every thirty minutes, and more often when I'm nervous.

Luckily this little trick is cheap and amazingly effective — plus it's easy to stash some extra trash bags in the bathroom, or find some in most venues if you run out. (A garment bag works well too, and lets you skip Step Three since it already has an extra hole.)

pee-1Step 1: Start with a poofy dress.

pee1Step 2: Add a large, sturdy trash bag.

pee2Step 3: Tear a hole in the bottom of the trash bag that is just wide enough to fit your feet through. Aim to keep it small- it will expand as you pull it up your legs, but you want it to fit tightly.

pee3Step 4: Step into the bag and pull your feet through the hole. This is WAY easier if you take your heels off, but in case of super gross bathroom floors, it can be done. Stand near a wall so you don't topple, though.

pee4Step 5: Pull the top of the bag up and start loading your dress-fluff into it, while keeping your feet pretty close together so you don't widen the hole too much. Some of the dress-fluff will inevitably try to escape through the foot hole, but it's not a big deal and you can just shove it back up in there.

pee5Step 6: Shimmy the bag up your body carefully, making sure to get all the dress-parts, ribbons, trains, etc into the bag.

pee6Step 7: Once the foot-hole is around your waist, you can gather the slack at the top of the bag and hold it in one hand, leaving the other free for… bathroom… tasks.

pee7

[related-post align=”right”]Voila! Look at you, using the potty all by yourself like a grown-up! Once you're done, just rip that sucker off like the Hulk (make sure you step AWAY from the toilet water first) and go back to your party. (It's not really worth trying to re-use the same bag, since the hole will get all loosey-goosey.)

Disclaimer: If you're wearing a dress that easily creases, I can't promise that this won't wrinkle it a bit… but that might be unavoidable even with bridesmaid assistance.

Comments on How a trash bag helps you go pee all by yourself while wearing big ol’ wedding dress

  1. Where were you last September?! I only peed once the whole evening because I so hated the assistance. Very clever solution. Also, sup fellow Ypsi-ite?!

    • I was…procrastinating on writing this post because I had to have a second set of hands to lace up my dress. I got marred in May of 2011 and have been meaning to do this since, haha. I’M SO SORRY! I HAVE FAILED YOU!

      High-five Ypsi!

  2. This would’ve been a hell of a lot better than grabbing my teenage niece to help me… Hahaha. I was pretty tipsy by the time I had to use the bathroom at my wedding and ended up grabbing the nearest female I felt comfortable with. It was pretty funny. Although my skirt was so large it may not have fit in a trash bag either.

  3. I had a pretty poofy dress (satin with a poofy crinoline underneath), but I managed to go pee all by myself, even without the trash bag! I also didn’t get my dress in the toilet. To be honest, I’m not really sure how I managed. I was in a corset, too! All I remember is making sure I used the wheelchair stall because there was not enough room to pick up my dress in a regular stall! Even with the garbage bag, using the biggest stall available is important!

    • You give me hope! Your dress and mine sound pretty similar. I have to make sure there IS a larger stall at my venue (old house and all that)…

      • I think I kind of tucked the skirt under at the bottom to scoop up the crinoline, and then held the whole thing around my back like a big dress doughnut. The satin’s pretty easy to manage, it’s the crinoline you have to worry about, so if you can cover the crinoline with the satin, it’s much easier to keep out of the way. You’ll figure it out. It is possible, I promise!

        • i think someone should make a petticoat with a drawstring around the bottom so you can just flip your skirt up, zip the petticoat tight, gathering all your outer layers inside it, go pee, and then just let the drawstring go when you’re done. like this bag trick but built in!

      • I had a bride’s room with an ensuite bathroom (historic house for us!), and I was able to go, no problem!

        Tip: squat facing the toilet, instead of facing away from the toilet!

        I also wore Shapewear with a pee hole, so I didn’t bother with underwear (that would have been a problem trying to hold up a dress, and take off underwear…

        It was a big dress with a train that I had to struggle with!

    • Good call- I used the big stall too, because then you can do the hiking-up-your-skirt part in private, which is always nice. As much as I like flashing my friends and relatives.

  4. Creative idea!
    I wore big puffy ball gowns to my highschool proms (like 4 times?) and never had any issues peeing by myself… Just gathered it all up into 1 arm and held it. I guess that could be more difficult with a train…

  5. This is amazing! You are amazing for this idea! I remember helping my MOH with her dress and her loss of dignity lol Wow, my FH is from Ypsi, small world. 🙂 Thank you!!

  6. I love this more than I have literally ever loved anything. I wedding dress shopped with one of my big goals being, being able to pee by myself. I looked at dresses that fit that code, and of course ended up with one with a petiskirt and a train instead. Now I don’t have to awkwardly warn my bridesmaids! Hooray!

  7. Oh, this is so perfect, and much better than the peeing backwards trick people keep talking about, since this won’t require me to take off my hose or to buy a (real) garter belt.

    Trash bags are now on the list of wedding day necessities!

    • If you have a big train or something that wrinkles easily, the other option is to have someone with you in the largest stall you can find, holding the back up while you straddle the toilet (facing it and the wall it is attached to).

      I’m kind of shocked that there are some stores where they sell these dresses to women to wear for a WHOLE DAY and don’t explain how you’re going to pee with it on!

    • Yeah I had hose which was one of the main reasons I wasn’t messing with that other method (the other reason being that I’m a huge germaphobe and didn’t want my dress touching everything, eeughh.)

    • trick to wearing garter belts and still being able to, ahem, get at your intimate bits for whatever purposes: garter/stockings first, than panties! looks nicest with a thong or g-string. this goes in the same category of advice as “boots first, then corset!” which us goth girls have all learned the hard way

      • Or just skip the panties altogether 😉 Then you also don’t have to worry about your undies getting stuck up your butt!

        • I wouldn’t want them stuck up there but I’m not sure I could walk up the aisle, full commando and not laugh hysterically knowing that everyone looking at me had no idea!! …and then getting the garter off!!! Careful not to Sharon Stone it :O

    • don’t forget when wearing hose that you’ll need TWO hands to pull them down and put them back on, same with underwear. Consider wearing stockings or crotchless hose so you don’t have to worry about trying to hold the garbage bag up WHILE taking your undergarments down

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