Skip the drama when addressing wedding invitations

Posted by
Invitation calligraphy by Etsy seller InspiredCalligraphy
Invitation calligraphy by Etsy seller InspiredCalligraphy
I can't handle addressing these wedding invitations.

Everyone says I should address it to “Mr. & Mrs. Man's-First-Name Man's-Last-Name” but it pisses me off…

…addresses like this completely blow past the female component of a relationship!

Any ideas for how to be true-to-self without trying to make an in-your-face statement?


I'm not sure what etiquette would advise, but my solution was to skip last names completely on my invites. I addressed them with first names and affectionate titles, ie “Dad & Andrea” (for my father and his girlfriend), “Auntie Cherie & Dave” (for my aunt and her boyfriend), and “Dallas & Erin” (for my married friends who shared a last name). I usually listed whoever I felt like knew better first, i.e. “Susannah & Michael” for my best friend from high school and her husband.

Obviously, your mileage may vary with this technique and it's probably not up to any sort of etiquette, but it felt like the simple, straightforward solution to me.

I'd love to hear from Offbeat Brides — how did you address YOUR envelopes?

Comments on Skip the drama when addressing wedding invitations

  1. This is great advice! I did this on our Save the Dates (and plan to for the invites) and it saved a ton of etiquette stress and it sets a nice tone.

  2. I love just using first names, but if you want something more formal you can write: Mr. and Mrs. Chuck and Kate Lastname. If you’re concerned about etiquette, I read somewhere that using “Mr. and Mrs.” with both first names is completely appropriate.

  3. That’s exactly what I did Ariel! I even went so far as to address to ‘well known and frequently used’ nicknames.

  4. I used the nickname approach on our engagement party invites and it actually caused some problems. I had a couple of the invites returned. These were friends who were renting and possibly still had roommates. It that case it apparently can cause confusion at the post office. But, in general I love the casual/fun approach!

  5. Must admit- I too am guilty of indulging in first name invites. It has worked perfectly so far (*fingers crossed*!)

  6. I also abhor “Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname”
    I just went with omitting the “Mr. or Mrs.” from all of the invites and just went with first and last names. “Steve and Lisa Johnson” or “Paul Brady and Lisa Johnson”

    It saved a lot of headache for me.

  7. I omitted the Mr., Mrs., Ms. titles completely from the invites because I felt that it was a silly thing to do, seeing that I normally never use titles when I send Christmas cards, letters and things like that. ymmv, of course.

    So, it was just first and last name (in the case of couples, like Ariel, I put the person’s name first that I knew better.)

    There were no complaints and I felt good knowing I didn’t do something just because “that’s the way it’s done”, when it didn’t make sense to me to do it that way.

  8. My wife and I just said, FEH, forget about addressing etiquette. We addressed the invitations in the same way that we always addressed the people receiving them. Or the way that we thought the invitee would most like to be addressed.

    For example I knew my grandmother would like to be Mrs. First Name Last Name. So I wrote that. For aunts and uncles I wrote Auntie FirstName and Uncle FirstName.

    Everyone seemed to be happy, or at least we had no complaints 🙂 and it made us VERY happy.

  9. We’re doing the same thing and we are even handwriting them. If anything, we will momentarily shake folks out of the societal conditioned trance. It’s a great thing!

Read more comments

Comments are closed.