How to change your relationship status on Facebook without everyone knowing

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This is an instance where knowing how to hide your relationship status would've been helpful. Courtesy of

If you're on Facebook at all, you've seen it happen: two friends end their marriage or long-term relationship, Facebook informs you that [FRIEND] and [FRIEND] are “no longer in a relationship.” Or, on the flip side — two secretive friends get engaged, change their respective statuses, and then BOOM! Every single person they know on Facebook wants an invite to the wedding. Both of these situations (and many in between) beg the question: just how do you change your relationship status on Facebook while keeping your news feed followers in the dark?

[related-post align=”right”]I get that this is a very twenty-first century only-for-people-who-are-online-a-lot problem, and perhaps a silly one at that. Why, when you're thinking about a change to your long-term relationship, would your mind wander to your Facebook relationship status? I can't tell you, I just know that for many people it does, and the creepy-crawly, upside-down-stomach feeling that goes along with those thoughts isn't the best thing ever.

Last year my best friend ended a relationship, and I noticed that she successfully kept the ending of this relationship from becoming Facebook's news — a few “friends” didn't even realize her previous relationship had been over for nearly a year when she started dating her now-boyfriend. So she's obviously a bit of a digital genius, and I recently had her sit down and show me how to make this happen:

  1. Go to your profile
  2. Click “Edit Profile”
  3. Select “Friends and Family” from the menu on the left
  4. Click the arrow next to “Relationship Status”
  5. Change this to “Only me”

Voila! Now your relationship status will be visible ONLY to you — not even your (maybe) partner can see it. It simply disappears! It's a pretty easy fix (assuming Facebook doesn't change the way you do it in a week), and painless at that. Win-win.

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Comments on How to change your relationship status on Facebook without everyone knowing

  1. I did something similar with changing mine but instead I changed the status, went to my profile page and clicked the x next to where it said”kat went from being engaged to single” and clicked hide post. This way I’m not hiding anything on my page but at the same time it is not put on the news feed

  2. Also really nice to know is that you can have the information in your profile but have the change removed from your news feed. This is nice when you want the information known but don’t want a ton of questions/comments/likes. Change it, look at your own wall, hover over the “blah blah blah now I’m single” line, and click the x that appears on the right side. That removes it from your news feed but not your profile.

  3. Don’t forget, you can also select “custom” from that same menu, then type in the names of the people you DO want seeing your changed status (like your S.O. or your parents or your whatever). Then they can see it, but no one else 🙂
    You can even create a “friends list” of those people you want knowing the more intimate details of your life, and set the “customization” to that friend list, so you don’t have to type in all those names every time you want to limit a status update to those folks. Do keep an eye on this though; a few times I’ve had FB change my “default” to a “custom” list, and I’ve had to change it back to “friends.”
    “Custom” can be a pain in the butt to use, but boy is it useful when you don’t want everyone to see all your posts (personally, I use it primarily for gaming; I have a list of my friends that play each of the games I’m playing, and I lock all my game posts so only those friends can see them, to minimize the wall-spamming of my non-gamer friends).

  4. Yeah, but what I love best is when months will go by, and all of the “Congrats on your engagement!” messages have slunk off my wall… and then someone meanders over, happens to notice I’m engaged, says, “OMG YOU’RE ENGAGED?!? CONGRATS!!!” and then it starts a whole new slew of comments from people who didn’t notice it the previous (10) times. LOL.

  5. If you’re not going to show it to anyone, why bother putting up a relationship status at all? You don’t have to answer all of the questions :p

    • I didn’t want to hide mine forever, but just for a week or so. We got engaged and told our folks by phone, but since I was going back home in a week I thought I would just tell everyone in person. My fiance was very excited to put it up on Facebook, but I thought that was a crappy way for my family members to find out. So we changed it, I hid it, then told my important people in person. Then after that was done, I unhid it and let the congradulation posts fly!

  6. I did this just yesterday! to be sure you’ve done it right, log off and log back in. then check your own wall to be sure there isnt a note like “you just went from engaged to married”
    Great tip guys!!

  7. Hiding your relationship status has the great advantage of stopping the “targeted” adverts. I hid my relationship status shortly after my fiancé passed away because the targeted advertising on Facebook saw “Relationship status = engaged” and kept on trying to offer me wedding photography packages and suchlike. (for anyone who remembers me posting for a few short months on OBT, that’s why I disappeared!)

  8. I had a friend just get married and so it posted the status “___’s now married to His Name”. Her father helpfully commented “So, who’s His Name?”.

    • Thats is as bad as my sister… she didn’t change the status, just her last name… and that is how we found out she was married. 4 months later.

  9. the thing i loathe is people that “like” your change of relationship status from serious relationship to single. oh so you like that my heart has been shattered into a million pieces? what a great friend you are!

    • Maybe they think you were the one to break it off and they’re trying to say “You go, girl!”?

      Not that they should jump to that, or any other, conclusion, but maybe they’re not being as mean as you think.

    • On the flip side, I really get annoyed when people flood the status with “OMG what happened? I’m so sorry!” comments.

  10. Just did this a few weeks ago, and I combined the two strategies: hid my status, changed it, and then put the privacy back to “friends”. Now I show as being single, but no one ever saw an update, which makes me feel better.

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