These are the official rules that all groomsgirls, best women, and any ladies standing by their favorite dudes: oh wait, there are NO rules. We recently spied Orange is the New Black's Lauren Lapkus at this super gorgeous vegan and pink wedding as one of the groom's attendants. She ROCKED a feminine suit that matched the groomsmen and even walked one of the bridemaids into the reception. Hell yes! After that, we knew we needed another reminder of how awesome groomsgirls and best women can be. (Oh, and spoiler: these tips totally work for bridesdudes, too!)
Here are the things you totally do not have to do as a groomsgirl:
You don't have to match the bridesmaids
If mismatched bridesmaids are a super common thing, why should you have to match them? Unless the couple is super insistent, you're not bound to wearing a matching dress if you don't want to. Ask if you can match the groomsmen or just wear something that fits the theme. Since the couple is already choosing a mixed-gender wedding party, they're likely to be cool with your ideas.
You don't have to match the groomsmen
On the flip side, if you DO want to match the bridesmaids, feel free to ask if you can snag one of the matching dresses. You never know where you'll be standing, so see what the plan is to see if matching the bridesmaids makes more sense.
You don't have to walk in with anyone
If you'd rather not walk in with a bridesmaid or groomsman, see if you can rock your own entrance. Again, no real rules here as long as your wedded pals are cool with it.
You don't have to attend the associated parties
This is where things can get really hazy. If you're friends with the groom but are invited to all the “ladies-only” soirees, you can totally say no if you prefer. See what your friend suggests in terms of which to attend. We talked a bit about this over here on this post from the couple's point of view:
Our advice is pretty simple: if they'd enjoy helping and being a part of the celebrations, invite them. Trust us, nobody should be balking at bridesdudes crashing the traditionally lady-filled parties.
If they're not interested in (or would feel awkward at) the pre-wedding parties, you can absolutely tell them they don't have to attend with no hard feelings. Sometimes wedding party members are more ceremonial than practical in their roles, and that's totally cool.
You don't have to plan with the bride
Just because you're a lady, doesn't mean you have to be in on the bride's side of planning. Here's a great list of groomsman/groomlady duties that we love.
You don't even have to say yes to doing it
The big thing that folks forget is that you actually don't HAVE to even be in the wedding party. You can say no if you prefer. We even have a whole post from our editor Megan on what to do when someone in your wedding party declines the invitation. Here's a snippet:
Sometimes your wedding and/or engagement happens at really shitty times for others. It could be that they're going through a rough break-up, and not really feeling like celebrating love. It could be that their ex just got engaged, and they're having feels.
Are YOU a groomsgirl or bridesdude? What advice would you share?
More offbeat-approved advice for the wedding party: