Stop the violence against glassware: 6 glass-clinking alternatives

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From Offbeat Bride reader seneadawn: “Instead of clinking their glasses to make us kiss, we asked our guests to sing a song from one of the shows we had worked on. This was SO MUCH FUN.”

Are you like me — a person who HATES the glass-clinking tradition? For the unfamiliar: guests bang their silverware against their drinking glasses until the couple (who are trying to enjoy their meal or have a conversation) stops everything and smooches while everyone cheers. I was so a-feared of this happening at our wedding, but didn't think ahead enough to figure out an alternative to discourage this kind of behavior. So my solution: the moment the clicking started I. shut. that. shit. down. I put on my best Megan bitch face and just slowly shook my head in a “this is simply not happening” way. Let me tell you, nary a glass was clinked after that.

If you're looking forward to glass-clinking, more power to ya! I wish you all the glass-clickings possible. But if you aren't comfortable kissing on command (or bringing out the bitch face to make it stop), here are some useful glass-clinking alternatives from Offbeat Brides…

Make 'em work for it

I come from a long line of glass-clinkers. It's a big thing at weddings, at least in the Midwest. So we both knew it was gonna happen even if we politely requested that it not happen. In order to avoid said clinking, we came up with an alternative.Any table that wanted us to kiss had to sing a song with the word “love” in it. Any song, and only a snippet so we could hear the LOVE. Then we'd kiss. This had many advantages. One: the whole table had to get brave enough to sing. Two: they had to choose a song. And three: it interrupted their own meals in order to do it. This drastically cut down on the number of times I had to swallow a gulp of food to play tonsil-hockey with my husband, and it was amusing to see which tables actually sang, and what song they chose.

If you have a semi-rowdy family, this might be a great way to keep the glassware silent but still allow them to have the fun of “making” you kiss. I put it in the wedding program and also told a few key family members, so that we got NOT ONE glass-clink.

Some alternatives I've seen include:

  • Demonstrate the kiss you want the couple to have
  • Perform (poem, song, etc. about the couple)
  • Tell a story

Basically, you can make it as easy or difficult as you'd like if you want to give guests the option. My hubby and I didn't provide an option.
-Kirsten aka littleredlupine

Roll the dice

We figured we'd steal from So you're going to sit through a wedding: the funniest wedding program evar and have an inflatable large D20, and you had to roll 10 or better for kissing to happen. although I suspect our nerdy friends will be playing with that thing all night.

Just say “no”

If you and your fiance are shy, and you don't want to have to kiss on command, simply put a note in your program or a sign at the door. The wording could be something simple like, “We will not be having any kissing games during the festivities instead believing that everyone should be able to choose when and why they kiss. We ask that everyone please honours this request. Thank-you.”

If you instead would just like to avoid the clinking but still have some form of kissing game (that won't involve personal trivia or stories coming out) you could try a game that focuses around other things. You could try general knowledge trivia, a name that song sort of game or a game of chance with a dice or cards (roll a number higher than 3, pick out a card and do the challenge on it, draw a heart from an ordinary deck).

Personally we will have a “tongue in cheek” comment in our day-of survival guide saying “Ninja spies (i.e. groomsmen) have been instructed to remove anyone caught clinking a glass…. but you'll be lucky if the bride doesn't get to you first! Instead there will be a trivia game explained at the start of the reception for which each correct answer will result in the couple kissing (that is if you happen to find a moment when they aren't kissing to begin with).”

Make 'em pay

A friend of mine had the idea to instead of people clinking glasses if you wanted the happy couple to kiss you had to put a dollar in a glass fish bowl that was on the table in front of the couple. Their idea was that the money would go to the honeymoon.


At this wedding, you didn't clink glasses to get us to kiss. You donated money to City of Hope. We raised $271. We didn't expect the mad stampede of guests waving dollar bills when we made the announcement. Boy did we have numb lips when it was over! We have such awesome people in our lives!

Make 'em drink

Someone in my family put bottles of vodka on the tables and guests had to do a shot to get the bride and groom to kiss. I wasn't there, but everyone agrees it was memorable, and the wedding party/family/friends all like to have a good time and drink whilst doing it. -msmcelligottster
Maybe just use plastic cups? © by John Loo, used under Creative Commons license.

Make a different noise

I kinda like it, but being a science geek I think I'm going to ask people to resonate their glasses instead. It leads to fewer broken glasses and sounds lovelier. It's also harder to do, so that is better in my book. You basically run a fingertip around the rim of the glass to make it hum. Sounds easy, but isn't at all.Also, my sweet Maid of Honor has already expressed disdain about glass-clinking during the meal at a previous wedding. She leaned over to me at said wedding and said, “If they try that at your wedding, I'm gonna yell, ‘KNOCK IT OFF, they're trying to EAT!'” My Maid of Honor is amazing.

Now it's your turn! What are your glass-clinking alternatives?

Comments on Stop the violence against glassware: 6 glass-clinking alternatives

  1. We’re making the guests hula hoop at our carnival themed wedding if they wanna see us play tonsil hockey.

    • We considered this, but FH and I just decided that the number of sideshow people are inviting to the wedding makes this *way* too easy.

  2. I haaaate this tradition. I don’t know why, it just really irks me. When we eventually get married, BF and I are planning to just duct tape an airhorn under our table. *clinkclinkclink* HOOOOOOOONK!

  3. My wedding is still 11 months away and I can already feel my bitch face coming on. I don’t deal well with being demanded or told what to do, and this tradition irks me very much. We are doing away with lots of other (in my opinion) dumb wedding traditions, like bouquet and garter toss, and this one is out the door too.

  4. My favorite came from a friend’s wedding last year. If you wanted to see them to kiss they wanted to see you kiss. The DJ had a list of couples, (started with grandparents, parents, aunt/uncles, etc). The couple on the list was called out first, they had to kiss, then Bride and Groom copied their kiss. With no direction it took a couple rounds to find out what was going on, but once people figured it out kisses got very creative and cute!

  5. My bashful conservative cousin tried the “Must sing song or give speech with the word ‘love’ in it in order to get us to kiss” thing. Unfortunately for her, I love to sing, have a pretty damn good voice, have memorized “L-O-V-E” by Nat King Cole, and am not afraid to sing a capella, with or without alcohol.

    The word “love” ended up being sung more than four times, because I really hammed it up near the end. I think if my FH and I want to adapt this to our wedding, we may either do the “money in a bucket for charity” route or the D20 one. Because penalties to rollers or making them kiss someone else is AWESOME and just bastardic enough for my love.

  6. I have never heard of this, either. I’m also from the South, from Texas, and I’ve never seen this done. It *would* annoy me, though, if I was expected to kiss on cue! I’ve got IMPORTANT things to do like eat the food we paid a fortune for, LOL.

  7. I was at a wedding last year and they had a great alternative to glass clinking – so good we are considering it too. The MC’s painted a large box in the wedding colors using the numbers 1-4 and the couple’s first initials. When the dice was out (during agreed upon times), anyone could come up and roll the dice. If either of the initials came up, the couple kissed. If any of the numbers came up, that person had to kiss that many people!

  8. I am Russian, we have a very fun tradition where all the wedding guests chant “GORKA!” “GORKA!” “GORKA!” until the bride and groom kiss. Gorka means bitter, and the idea is that the world is bitter until the bride and groom kiss and make things sweet again. I recently introduced this tradition to my friends wedding, because I knew the bride had russian heritage, and it was a blast. Every one got really into chanting a silly word 🙂

  9. I had no idea this was a thing. It didn’t happen at my wedding and I can’t remember every being at a wedding where people clinked (or did anything else) to get the couple to kiss. I’m not too into performing on command, especially something like a kiss, so I don’t think I’d like it either. I guess it’s not a tradition in the circles I’m familiar with.

  10. We did the “sing a song with love” for our kisses, after getting irritated early on with clinks.
    We have some pretty rowdy friends…which lead to some “Earmuffs!” pictures featuring our flowergirl.

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