Stop the violence against glassware: 6 glass-clinking alternatives

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From Offbeat Bride reader seneadawn: “Instead of clinking their glasses to make us kiss, we asked our guests to sing a song from one of the shows we had worked on. This was SO MUCH FUN.”

Are you like me — a person who HATES the glass-clinking tradition? For the unfamiliar: guests bang their silverware against their drinking glasses until the couple (who are trying to enjoy their meal or have a conversation) stops everything and smooches while everyone cheers. I was so a-feared of this happening at our wedding, but didn't think ahead enough to figure out an alternative to discourage this kind of behavior. So my solution: the moment the clicking started I. shut. that. shit. down. I put on my best Megan bitch face and just slowly shook my head in a “this is simply not happening” way. Let me tell you, nary a glass was clinked after that.

If you're looking forward to glass-clinking, more power to ya! I wish you all the glass-clickings possible. But if you aren't comfortable kissing on command (or bringing out the bitch face to make it stop), here are some useful glass-clinking alternatives from Offbeat Brides…

Make 'em work for it

I come from a long line of glass-clinkers. It's a big thing at weddings, at least in the Midwest. So we both knew it was gonna happen even if we politely requested that it not happen. In order to avoid said clinking, we came up with an alternative.Any table that wanted us to kiss had to sing a song with the word “love” in it. Any song, and only a snippet so we could hear the LOVE. Then we'd kiss. This had many advantages. One: the whole table had to get brave enough to sing. Two: they had to choose a song. And three: it interrupted their own meals in order to do it. This drastically cut down on the number of times I had to swallow a gulp of food to play tonsil-hockey with my husband, and it was amusing to see which tables actually sang, and what song they chose.

If you have a semi-rowdy family, this might be a great way to keep the glassware silent but still allow them to have the fun of “making” you kiss. I put it in the wedding program and also told a few key family members, so that we got NOT ONE glass-clink.

Some alternatives I've seen include:

  • Demonstrate the kiss you want the couple to have
  • Perform (poem, song, etc. about the couple)
  • Tell a story

Basically, you can make it as easy or difficult as you'd like if you want to give guests the option. My hubby and I didn't provide an option.
-Kirsten aka littleredlupine

Roll the dice

We figured we'd steal from So you're going to sit through a wedding: the funniest wedding program evar and have an inflatable large D20, and you had to roll 10 or better for kissing to happen. although I suspect our nerdy friends will be playing with that thing all night.

Just say “no”

If you and your fiance are shy, and you don't want to have to kiss on command, simply put a note in your program or a sign at the door. The wording could be something simple like, “We will not be having any kissing games during the festivities instead believing that everyone should be able to choose when and why they kiss. We ask that everyone please honours this request. Thank-you.”

If you instead would just like to avoid the clinking but still have some form of kissing game (that won't involve personal trivia or stories coming out) you could try a game that focuses around other things. You could try general knowledge trivia, a name that song sort of game or a game of chance with a dice or cards (roll a number higher than 3, pick out a card and do the challenge on it, draw a heart from an ordinary deck).

Personally we will have a “tongue in cheek” comment in our day-of survival guide saying “Ninja spies (i.e. groomsmen) have been instructed to remove anyone caught clinking a glass…. but you'll be lucky if the bride doesn't get to you first! Instead there will be a trivia game explained at the start of the reception for which each correct answer will result in the couple kissing (that is if you happen to find a moment when they aren't kissing to begin with).”

Make 'em pay

A friend of mine had the idea to instead of people clinking glasses if you wanted the happy couple to kiss you had to put a dollar in a glass fish bowl that was on the table in front of the couple. Their idea was that the money would go to the honeymoon.


At this wedding, you didn't clink glasses to get us to kiss. You donated money to City of Hope. We raised $271. We didn't expect the mad stampede of guests waving dollar bills when we made the announcement. Boy did we have numb lips when it was over! We have such awesome people in our lives!

Make 'em drink

Someone in my family put bottles of vodka on the tables and guests had to do a shot to get the bride and groom to kiss. I wasn't there, but everyone agrees it was memorable, and the wedding party/family/friends all like to have a good time and drink whilst doing it. -msmcelligottster
Maybe just use plastic cups? © by John Loo, used under Creative Commons license.

Make a different noise

I kinda like it, but being a science geek I think I'm going to ask people to resonate their glasses instead. It leads to fewer broken glasses and sounds lovelier. It's also harder to do, so that is better in my book. You basically run a fingertip around the rim of the glass to make it hum. Sounds easy, but isn't at all.Also, my sweet Maid of Honor has already expressed disdain about glass-clinking during the meal at a previous wedding. She leaned over to me at said wedding and said, “If they try that at your wedding, I'm gonna yell, ‘KNOCK IT OFF, they're trying to EAT!'” My Maid of Honor is amazing.

Now it's your turn! What are your glass-clinking alternatives?

Comments on Stop the violence against glassware: 6 glass-clinking alternatives

  1. We are opting for an inflatable D20. We are pasting tasks onto each side. 2 will say “bride and groom kiss”, but the other sides will say things like “roller must hula hoop” or “roller must perform a 30 second skit of their favorite movie”.

    • The d20 picture is from our wedding and I have to say, it worked really well! If our guests rolled under 10, they had to kiss someone (though usually they picked us, lol!).

      I have to say that I *love* your idea and wish we’d thought of it! I hope you guys have fun with it! 😀

  2. We used New Year’s Eve horns as our glass clinking alternative at our wedding. Since it was Lord of the Rings themed, we told everyone they were “Horns of Gondor”.

  3. We’re currently considering our options, but the front runner is *epic*. We both have a deep love for drag queens, especially RuPaul’s Drag Race on Logo (in the States). So, to have our guests make us kiss, we’re having them “Lip Synch for a Kiss” (a play on “Lip Synch for your LIFE”).

    • HOLY FUCK WUT!? You totally have to say it like RuPaul.

      “It’s time for you to llllipsync…. FOR YOUR KISSSSSS.”

      (PS: Team Jujubee forevar!)

      • I have visions of wedding programs with RuPaul on them.. and our other favorite Queens. I need to mock up some designs in the next couple months and, of course, get them approved through the FH first, but I’m pretty hopeful he’ll dig it, too.

  4. I totally pulled out the ‘bitch face’ at our wedding! I am a very laid-back person but I can honestly say I was a bitch on our wedding day. Hello bridezilla

  5. We were going to require people to compose original limericks (that had to be suitable for all audiences) if they wanted us to kiss. Everyone was too busy eating, dancing and enjoying the venue (an aquarium) to try clinking glasses though, so we only got one limerick the next day at brunch, and we kissed for that.

  6. you BETTER BELIEVE I sent the shot idea to my Sister and future B.I.L. 😛

  7. Our wedding was 3 days after my little brother’s birthday, and 2 days before one of our best friend’s birthday. We told everyone they had to sing “Happy Birthday” to them if they wanted us to kiss. Our swing band played throughout dinner, though, and nobody wanted to try to sing over the band or interrupt the band, so we got to eat uninterrupted. One of my favorite photos is from later on in the evening, when someone organized the entire hall to sing “Happy Birthday” to our birthday boys. My brother grabbed our friend and the two of them swayed happily to the music and sang along at the top of their lungs. And everyone got their kiss.

  8. We were kind of hoping because we are older everyone else would be as sick of it as we are and not do it. I was wrong. We played along and kissed once. When it started up the second time, it was a friend of mine who we both know really well. So, we stood up, went to her and her husband and Dave kissed my friend, on the lips, for a good couple seconds and i did the same to her husband. Everyone cheered and laughed, but the clinking STOPPED.

    • LOL! That was our plan B…to kiss the bridesmaids or groomsmen if a clink was heard. Would have horrified his very Catholic grandmother!

  9. I’ve never heard of this odd tradition or witnessed it in action… so I guess another option is to get married in Australia. lol.

    • Glass clinking is something done often in Italian weddings. It is supposed to interrupt the bride and groom when they are on opposite sides of the room. It is meant to be kisses for good luck.

  10. at my best friend’s wedding this summer the MC prepared a stack of trivial pursuit cards. each table had a bell they would ring to have the couple kiss, but first the couple would ask them one of the trivia questions – they’d only kiss if the table agreed on the correct answer. we all learned a lot that night!

    • We’re also doing trivia. Each of our tables has a different theme (Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, etc.) and we’re writing really hard questions that people have to get right if they want us to kiss.

    • I am totally stealing this idea. My mom bought kissing bells… and my first fear was that it was going to be horribly abused. We’re going to have other games at our wedding as it is (Boggle, Yahtzee, cards)… so this is sort of perfect. 😀 Mom gets her bells. I don’t end up with my face plastered to my FH all night.

    • Oooh, I like this! We’re already having a stack of Trivial Pursuit cards at each person’s place, so we could figure out something from there. The thought of the clinking just gives me the shivers.

    • For some reason this just made me think that we should make people play Munchkin (the card game) and if they beat the monster they can make us kiss. Depending on how we do our reception, it may or may not involve people playing board/card games, so this isn’t entirely out of the question, so we may just weave the kissing game into the table games.

      I’m still sort of on the fence. On the one hand, haha funny tradition, I love being the center of attention, and I’m probably going to be kissing my man all night anyway–plus how funny to watch us run across the room for it! But on the other hand, if I’m in the middle of a conversation or eating I don’t want it to get out of hand, and–yes I’m a party pooper sometimes–but I think it’s a great opportunity to point out to people that date rape isn’t funny. But I know if I say anything of the sort, it’s just going to get people rolling their eyes and calling me melodramatic.

      I liked the idea posted above where people had to donate to something to get them to kiss. Maybe I can combine the two, get some air time for a good cause and still enjoy the fun part of the tradition. I’ll have to run this past my mister.

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