How do you secretly find out your partner’s ring size?

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My partner and I have talked about getting married for a while now. But we're not officially engaged. I want to propose to him with the ring that would then become his wedding band.


The problem is… I want to make it a surprise, and I don't know his ring size. We don't even have a ring that fits him at the moment on which to base the size from!

Does anyone know other sneaky ways to find their partner's ring size? -ladyhatfield

Obviously, the best way is to steal the sizing from a ring your partner usually wears, but that's not the approach you can take in this case.

I once helped a friend get his girlfriends' ring size by getting her to try on my wedding ring. It fit her finger, so we went with my ring size. Does your boyfriend have a ring-wearing friend that might help you come up with a reason to get him to try on their ring?

What about just purchasing a ring with your best guess on size and then having it re-sized if need be?

Here are a few other ideas:

  • Ask family members if they know.
  • Enlist a friend to be sneaky. One Offbeat Bride told us: “My partner enlisted the help of a good friend of mine. She works for Urban Outfitters so she emailed me and said they were having a sample sale and there are some really cute rings I might like, what are the ring sizes of your fingers so I can see if any of them will fit you. So I sent her my ring size for ALL my fingers! Sneaky! Then I forgot all about it.”
  • Are they a heavy sleeper? Measure their ring finger with a piece of string or dental floss while they're snoozing. One reader told us “He slipped a sizer on me while I was sleeping. I actually did wake up a bit but it just seemed like he was grabbing/holding my hand in my sleep and I never thought about it again until he confessed later.”
  • Get a ring sizing set for yourself “just for fun” and then have them try it. “I bought a ring sizing set and was playing around with them and asked my boyfriend if he knew his ring size. He is very curious and wanted me to check. Worked like a charm 😉

or how about THIS clever method:

Here's what I did:

– Order free ring-sizer from ring vendor (yes, they do this!)

– Have my sister declare that she wanted to knit gloves for him for Christmas and needed to measure his fingers

– Hide in the kitchen and eavesdrop

One very important thing to note: while gold, silver, or platinum rings can be resized, tungsten carbide rings can NOT be resized.

What about you guys! What sneaky methods did you come up with to get your partners ring size?

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Comments on How do you secretly find out your partner’s ring size?

  1. you could always buy a few cheap men’s rings in different sizes (like from hot topic or spencers or something. Do they even still sell those? It’s been 10 years since I’ve been in one) and say someone in your life gave them to you because they didn’t want them anymore and ask if they fit and if he wants any of them. Then you can estimate based on what fits the best.

  2. I think asking a common friend to seek help finding a ring with your partner will be a good idea too. Your friend may pretend that the girl ring finger size look exactly like her size.

  3. My husband stole the class ring off my nightstand and then blamed me for losing it. After he was done going to the jeweler, he then came to me and claimed me had found it.

    I know he was just chastising me to make himself look less suspicious, but it failed miserably. Don’t do this. ><

  4. I got really lucky. My partner would always play with my class ring and try it on himself. When I picked a ring for him, I based it off of my ring size and got pretty close. When he lost a lot of weight, I had to get him another one and that was more difficult. I asked the seller I purchased from online if they would accept an exchange if it was only based on size (which didn’t affect the price of the ring in question). They were super cool about it, but I got lucky in my guesstimation.

    Moral of this story: talk to the place you are buying the ring from what their policy is on sizing/size based exchanges if you aren’t at least 80% sure you’re going to be within a half size.

  5. So, my “baskets” kind of moment around this: I just got the human a pair of cufflinks. He’s from OKC and they have the state seal of Oklahoma on them. I was really tortured about wanting to find a perfect ring for him, getting a good size, how much money I would spend, etc. Bam, $23 later and I have something I feel good about, and since he’s a dapper dude, I know he’ll wear them. This doesn’t sort out fit, but it did work a million times better for me. I’m really looking forward to proposing now

  6. Here are some tips on getting ring finger sized accurately:

    * Size After Five: Your joints swell as the day goes on, so be sure to measure your finger at the end of the day, not the first thing in the morning. And for fingers that swell often or easily, we suggest a modern width. Not one that is overly wide as it may become uncomfortable when your finger swells.

    * Don’t Knock the Knuckles: Knuckle size and finger size can sometimes be very different, but don’t forget to factor in your knuckles when considering a fit. Taking a ring off should never be a painful (or impossible!) process. Also, big knuckles can often mean larger hands. Consider a ring in a dark metal with a more substantive look.

    * Twist to Know: The right size should have to twist once or twice to get it off the knuckle; otherwise, your ring will fall off when it’s wet. Hands do change, but don’t hesitate to get the best fit for your finger today.

    *Is the ring comfort fit: Most of our rings are comfort fit meaning the inside of the ring (next to the finger) is domed shaped. This means that only the center part of the ring will be tight against the flesh. For example, an 8mm wide ring that is comfort fit will have about 3mm of metal that is tight against the finger. So for comfort fit rings it is important to use a narrow finger sizer. Most jewelers have a wide finger sizer (about 6.5mm) and a narrower one (about 3.0mm). Use the narrower one for a more accurate fit.

  7. Hey there,

    There’s some really great advice on here, which I am extremely grateful for, but I ended up coming up with a different way of getting a ring size if anyone’s interested.

    I was actually trying to get a ring for my little brother for Christmas, not for my partner, and unfortunately my little brother has no idea what his ring size is so I couldn’t even subtly ask him. He likes wearing rings but he’s only ever gotten the cheap adjustable kind.

    Anyhow, I found these ring sizers on ebay. They’re about $1.50 and it’s just a little adjustable band you put on your finger to measure it. I got one, went to my parents place when he was there and sat on the couch playing with it. Wasn’t long before curiosity got the better of him and he came over to check it out. I offered it to him to play with for a bit, and pretty soon I had the measurements for every one of his fingers.

    It’s a good thing too because I’m ordering his ring from overseas so there’s no way I’d be able to get it re-sized easily.

  8. I’ve been told that both women and mens Shoe Sizes basically are the same size as they’re wedding finger !

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