How do you secretly find out your partner’s ring size?

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My partner and I have talked about getting married for a while now. But we're not officially engaged. I want to propose to him with the ring that would then become his wedding band.


The problem is… I want to make it a surprise, and I don't know his ring size. We don't even have a ring that fits him at the moment on which to base the size from!

Does anyone know other sneaky ways to find their partner's ring size? -ladyhatfield

Obviously, the best way is to steal the sizing from a ring your partner usually wears, but that's not the approach you can take in this case.

I once helped a friend get his girlfriends' ring size by getting her to try on my wedding ring. It fit her finger, so we went with my ring size. Does your boyfriend have a ring-wearing friend that might help you come up with a reason to get him to try on their ring?

What about just purchasing a ring with your best guess on size and then having it re-sized if need be?

Here are a few other ideas:

  • Ask family members if they know.
  • Enlist a friend to be sneaky. One Offbeat Bride told us: “My partner enlisted the help of a good friend of mine. She works for Urban Outfitters so she emailed me and said they were having a sample sale and there are some really cute rings I might like, what are the ring sizes of your fingers so I can see if any of them will fit you. So I sent her my ring size for ALL my fingers! Sneaky! Then I forgot all about it.”
  • Are they a heavy sleeper? Measure their ring finger with a piece of string or dental floss while they're snoozing. One reader told us “He slipped a sizer on me while I was sleeping. I actually did wake up a bit but it just seemed like he was grabbing/holding my hand in my sleep and I never thought about it again until he confessed later.”
  • Get a ring sizing set for yourself “just for fun” and then have them try it. “I bought a ring sizing set and was playing around with them and asked my boyfriend if he knew his ring size. He is very curious and wanted me to check. Worked like a charm 😉

or how about THIS clever method:

Here's what I did:

– Order free ring-sizer from ring vendor (yes, they do this!)

– Have my sister declare that she wanted to knit gloves for him for Christmas and needed to measure his fingers

– Hide in the kitchen and eavesdrop

One very important thing to note: while gold, silver, or platinum rings can be resized, tungsten carbide rings can NOT be resized.

What about you guys! What sneaky methods did you come up with to get your partners ring size?

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Comments on How do you secretly find out your partner’s ring size?

  1. I didn’t find out her ring size. I just bought a ring and one of the conditions of the sale offered by the jeweler was to re-size it as needed.

  2. Fun suggestion: if it fits your style buy a candy ring (like those with huge candy gem) or a funky fun ring. Allows you to propose with a ring, make fun memories, allows your partner to choose his/her ring they are sure to like (saves from possible awkward moment).

    • My friend was proposed to with a cheap-but-cute ring from Walmart. The next day they went shopping together for something a little fancier. Memories, spending time together, right size, and she ended up with something she liked. 🙂

  3. My fiance spent a few months feeling the circumference of my ring finger several times every day under the guise of just playing with my hands. Then he also felt the circumference of his finger every day until he felt like he had a solid idea of the difference between his finger and mine. Then he measured his own ring size and then sized down to the amount my finger seemed to be (I think one size). Voila, my ring fit perfectly.

    Of course, you have to be as obsessively and accurately attuned to physical details as he is, so your mileage may vary.

    • Haha that’s awesome! I definitely noticed a few instances of my fiance paying special attention to my ring finger while “idly” playing with my hands, but we ended up going to a jewelry store to get sized so I can attest that this method doesn’t work for everyone 😉

    • That sort of thing works particularly well if you’re naturally very playful – my partner did pretty much this to me one night while we were in bed. I thought absolutely nothing about it because of that, and also because I had a really bad anxiety attack earlier that day ^^’

  4. I also love the “fun alternative” idea. My fiance sewed a felt flower onto a little girls hair band and used that for the proposal (on the ice in the middle of our hockey game). It was perfect because it fit on my finger both with and without my hockey glove.

    Then we went ring shopping to find something perfect 🙂

  5. I’ve been thinking this through a lot, since I’d eventually like to get my significant other a meteorite ring, which basically can’t be resized from what I understand. I’ve concluded that I’m probably going to get a cheaper ring with a Tardis on it for popping the question and then pick out a more permanent ring with him after.
    Side question: my sister and I both have metal allergies, though hers is more severe than mine. She ended up developing an allergy to her engagement and wedding rings and can’t wear them any more! I’ve only ever had fairly cheap rings, but haven’t been able to wear those in 6 or so years. I’m really concerned that when the time comes, I’ll be forced to look at alternative options like tattoo rather than pick out a pretty ring of my own for fear that I won’t be able to wear it after a while. Anyone have any experience with this?

    • you probably already thaught of it, but how about other materials? wood, leather ring for example, there are probably much more available (clear plastic? glass? stone?) but I don’t know what is best

    • I can’t speak to the metal allergy side of it, but I’ve been told by a tattoo artist that ring tattoos are generally not a great idea. They have a tendency to fade a lot, especially on the underside, because the skin doesn’t hold the ink well there and you’re constantly using your hands for things. If you went this route you may need to get it touched up much more frequently than a normal tattoo.

      Of course, if you meant a tattoo in general instead of a ring tattoo then you can disregard this comment. 😀 My wife and I got semi-matching Polynesian tattoos on our honeymoon, and we’re thinking about getting another pair of tattoos on a future anniversary with symbolism referencing the wedding itself.

  6. I’d say the best way is to buy a bunch of cheapo rings in various sizes (or try different size key rings too, something that appears to be like a ring)…if he won’t put them on or would get suspicious you can put them on him while he sleeps. If he is a heavy sleeper, see if there are friends or family who can ask him to try on a ring maybe to “help them out” with a choice for one of their loved ones…You can also print up one of those ring size charts and cut out the holes and do that when they sleep as well. As a tip it is cheaper to go bigger on size if not sure…it costs more to go sizes up as they have to add whatever metal the ring choice is, and that could get costly. My fiance bought me a ring without checking size first and got one way too small. He had to pay an extra $200 to get it sized up, it would have costed about $50 to size down, so the difference is way noticeable. So keep that in mine.

  7. this is a little elaborate but I promise it would work… I work for museum stores, and invariably they all carry those silly mood rings. couples of all ages gather round them and try them on, watching the colors change and joking about eachothers moods. The vendor who makes these for most gift shops prints the size on the inside of the band.

    so plan a fun day date to the science center or natural history museum. heck even call ahead and ask the store if they carry them to be sure.

    • or you could get one that’s one-size-fits-all and play around with and make him try it and make sure to keep it where he adjusted it to fit so you can measure it.

  8. My FH borrowed a ring to test the size but that didn’t work because the ring he borrowed fitted a different finger. I jeweller he bought my engagement ring from re-sized it free any way and it only took one day so getting it re-sized was no big deal.

  9. Yeah, I felt really silly.

    My fiance and I LARP together, and our characters are engaged. So when I was at a friends house a few weeks before an event and he called me to ask what my ring size was “For Sam(my character) because she needs an engagement ring” I told him off handedly and then said something like “but I don’t really want a ring for her because I don’t like LARPing with rings on”

    a month later, he proposed to me….

    • My fiance and I also LARP, which as it turned out was an absolute godsend when I decided I wanted to propose last Leap Year Day 🙂

      He’s got a ring he wears as one of his characters, which made it a fairly simple process of offering to sort out the “kit room” and surreptitiously trying it on all my fingers until I found the one it fit best (in my case, my thumb), then getting my thumb sized myself.

  10. A friend of mine used a picture of his girlfriend holding a coke can to mathematically determine the size she would wear. I’m nowhere near smart enough for something like that (he’s an engineer), but the ring fit perfectly.

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