How do you secretly find out your partner’s ring size?

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My partner and I have talked about getting married for a while now. But we're not officially engaged. I want to propose to him with the ring that would then become his wedding band.


The problem is… I want to make it a surprise, and I don't know his ring size. We don't even have a ring that fits him at the moment on which to base the size from!

Does anyone know other sneaky ways to find their partner's ring size? -ladyhatfield

Obviously, the best way is to steal the sizing from a ring your partner usually wears, but that's not the approach you can take in this case.

I once helped a friend get his girlfriends' ring size by getting her to try on my wedding ring. It fit her finger, so we went with my ring size. Does your boyfriend have a ring-wearing friend that might help you come up with a reason to get him to try on their ring?

What about just purchasing a ring with your best guess on size and then having it re-sized if need be?

Here are a few other ideas:

  • Ask family members if they know.
  • Enlist a friend to be sneaky. One Offbeat Bride told us: “My partner enlisted the help of a good friend of mine. She works for Urban Outfitters so she emailed me and said they were having a sample sale and there are some really cute rings I might like, what are the ring sizes of your fingers so I can see if any of them will fit you. So I sent her my ring size for ALL my fingers! Sneaky! Then I forgot all about it.”
  • Are they a heavy sleeper? Measure their ring finger with a piece of string or dental floss while they're snoozing. One reader told us “He slipped a sizer on me while I was sleeping. I actually did wake up a bit but it just seemed like he was grabbing/holding my hand in my sleep and I never thought about it again until he confessed later.”
  • Get a ring sizing set for yourself “just for fun” and then have them try it. “I bought a ring sizing set and was playing around with them and asked my boyfriend if he knew his ring size. He is very curious and wanted me to check. Worked like a charm 😉

or how about THIS clever method:

Here's what I did:

– Order free ring-sizer from ring vendor (yes, they do this!)

– Have my sister declare that she wanted to knit gloves for him for Christmas and needed to measure his fingers

– Hide in the kitchen and eavesdrop

One very important thing to note: while gold, silver, or platinum rings can be resized, tungsten carbide rings can NOT be resized.

What about you guys! What sneaky methods did you come up with to get your partners ring size?

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Comments on How do you secretly find out your partner’s ring size?

  1. Even if you can’t be sneaky about ring size, you can still surprise with a proposal. My fiancée and I looked at rings together, and when I found one I liked, she told me she couldn’t afford it. Little did I know that she had actually bought it that very day without telling me. A month later she surprised me with a proposal in Disneyland! I was definitely surprised!

  2. I also proposed with a ring which, after getting it engraved, will become his wedding band. He likes to put on one of my rings, which fits on his ring while I wear it on my middle, so I figured he’s half a size bigger than me, and it worked like a charm.

  3. I work for a jewelry store and ring sizing is defiantly to be left to people trained. Finger size changes depending on the weather, if the person is a bit swollen/bloated, the thickness of the metal band on the ring, etc. (Costume jewelry fits differently than precious metals).

    That being said, best thing to do when you don’t know the size is to buy the stock size (usually a 6-7 for women and about a 10 for men). Most places will give you a complimentary ring sizing upon presentation. That means buy the ring in a stock size and once you give it to them, you can come back and they will size it to fit. You get to keep the surprise and still get a ring that fits (only down side- you have to leave the ring with the jeweler for a few weeks while they do the work).

    Most people who buy rings that want it to be a surprise just go with the stock size and worry about the fit later. Just make sure the ring can be sized before you buy it.

  4. The place that my Fiance got my ring from does free ring sizing. I don’t think it distracted from the proposal that the ring was too big. We just went back to the store to get it resized.

    • Yeah same! He got the ring in the average size, which ended up being WAY too big. Couldn’t even stay on my thumb lol

    • That is the ONE thing I found nice about an ad for some diamond jeweler: You pick the stone, they put it in a stock ring, then you propose and bring back the ring for your betrothed to pick their setting.

  5. My approach was this:
    – Order free ring-sizer from ring vendor (yes, they do this!)
    – Have my sister declare that she wanted to knit gloves for him for Christmas and needed to measure his fingers
    – Hide in the kitchen

    And voila! Sneaky ring size.

  6. My husband sneakily found out my ring size with the help of my best friend. Her grandma is into all kinds of crafts so I didn’t think anything of it when Rosie casually mentioned that her grandma was thinking of trying ring-making and had asked Rosie to size up all of her friends so she could get a rough idea of what size fingers people in general had! Rosie sized all of my fingers and did my other housemate’s as well. Didn’t suspect a thing 🙂

  7. This might not work because the difference in hand sizes might be too wide; but, when I was contemplating proposing I used a particularly goofy night to compare our hands. I’d tease him about how slender his fingers were and then had him try on MY rings… which happened to have a cheap men’s ring hidden among them (“it’s my thumb ring” or “when I was in college my hands were chubbier”). The added bonus: it prompted him to playfully critique the rings and tell me which ones he preferred. Not ideal, but I had a much better understanding of his size (and preferences) when I went shopping.

  8. My fiancé tried to measure my finger while I was sleeping, but that failed miserably (as did his excuse of ‘uh, I wanted to measure your finger to see how much smaller it was compared to mine.’ Riiiiiight). He then located my stash of jewelry that I used to wear but hadn’t in a while and measured a ring I used to wear all the time. He used one of the print-it-yourself measuring tools online, which I really didn’t think would have worked, but he was spot-on. I’m glad, because my ring was special ordered from Ireland (it’s a platinum Claddagh ring, exactly what I had wanted!) and couldn’t easily or cheaply be re-sized locally.

  9. Rings sizes are weird anyway. When we ordered my wedding band we ordered the same size as my engagement ring, but because the wedding band was much much thicker than my slender engagement ring, it didn’t fit and I had to go up a half size! So, there are many factors that can affect the fit of a ring.

    Good luck!

  10. Great tips and stories shared in the comments here. I just wanted to add that there are some metals like titanium or tungsten that can’t be resized, whereas classics like gold or platinum can. So if you order a ring without knowing the exact size, keep that in mind. Best regards, Jan

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