How to use your straight marriage certificate to make a point about gay marriage

Guest post by Alaura
i support love

We got our marriage license today! Very exciting, but I floated out of the Probate Court Office and realized that I wanted to let someone know my thoughts on Ohio's ban of same sex marriage. So I'm planning on turning in this letter with my marriage certificate in the hopes that the powers that be see it and pass it on…

July 16th, 2010
Judge Alan S. Acker
Franklin County Probate Court
373 S. High Street
23rd Floor
Columbus, OH 43215

Dear Judge Acker:

I am writing to you to thank you for the opportunity to legally join my partner, [Joe], in marriage. Your office has provided us with the opportunity to protect the family that we will create under the laws of our state. Your staff treated us warmly and the process of obtaining a marriage license was much quicker and simpler than we expected. We thank you for creating a friendly, efficient environment in which we could make one step closer to solemnizing our marriage.

I do, however, want to express a grievance. It saddens me to know that while my partner and I may walk in to the Franklin County Government Building and go through the process of obtaining a marriage license in an effortless manner, thousands of couples in Ohio aren't allowed to. As I walked away with our marriage certificate, I realized that my partner and I have been given preferential treatment simply because of the fact that I am female and my fiancé is male. If I had walked in with a female partner and applied for a license, we would have been refused. The notion that the State of Ohio recognizes our relationship as somehow more legitimate than the relationships of same sex couples who are just as committed and have just as great a desire to create a family seems to me an infringement of one of the inalienable rights promised us in the Declaration of Independence: the pursuit of happiness.

I have asked that our officiant, Rev. Fowler, include this letter with our Certificate of Marriage in the hopes that my voice may be heard by someone who has the authority to provide the opportunity to marry to all residents of Franklin County. I do not feel that my commitment to my partner is in any way threatened or made less legitimate if a same sex couple were to be guaranteed the same rights that we have. If anything, the great
joy that I have upon entering a marriage with my partner has an undercurrent of sadness because we are marrying in a time when our state is denying the joy of marriage to so many. It is my fervent wish that when it is time for our children to walk into your office, they will be waiting in line with couples of all orientations, and they will be greeted with the same warmth that Joe and I were given today.

Sincerely,
[My Name]

How are you using YOUR wedding to fight for marriage equality?

Comments on How to use your straight marriage certificate to make a point about gay marriage

  1. Completely BADASS!! You totally rule. What a classy way to make your voice heard. I don’t know if it will make a difference, but maybe, if government got enough letters like this, it could mean something.

    • Love this! I am getting married in Ohio next month, will definitely have to do this!

  2. Alaura,
    I logged on to OBB today with the intention of searching out wording for our wedding invitations and found this instead. I want to thank you for preparing this beautiful letter and setting an example for us all! I have been mulling over ways that my FH and I could make a statement in our own ceremony supporting equal rights in marriage for all. As I plan our wedding, I have been all too aware as I bubble over with excitement,that I am talking with friends and co-workers who are being denied this basic civil right.
    We planned to say a few words on the subject during the ceremony, but now I plan to follow your lead and submit (with your blessing) a version of the letter you composed with our certificate as well.
    Thank you again, and well done!!

    • Galadriel (and anyone else who wants to use it), please feel free to use any of the wording as you see fit…I’m just so happy to see this has inspired some other OBBs to action!

      • I’m currently in the pre-planning stages of my own wedding scheduled for early 2012, but if the state of Florida hasn’t recognized same-sex marriages by then, I definitely plan on following your lead!

        MUCHO KUDOS TO YOU! ^^,

  3. Beautifully written. I’m going to have a part of the MA ruling an gay marriage read during my (hetero) ceremony in 18 days (OMG EIGHTEEN DAYS!!). I too feel like there is an undercurrent of sadness that not all couples are allowed to experience the same rights as my future husband and myself.

  4. i literally have goosebumps from head to toe. knowing that there are allies out there standing up to be heard gives this lesbian hope.

  5. I’m not even engaged (hopefully soon) but I came across your site and this post! So much respect for you! If and when I get married I will definitely do the same. 🙂

  6. My fiancee and I hope to marry one day. Though we have a domestic partnership (we’re in California)), it’s just not the same. Though we’re in different states, thank you for standing up for our rights.

  7. This is a great idea. I have ambivalent feelings towards the “institution” of marriage for a number of reasons and the lack of marriage equality is one of them. I do want to incorporate a message like this into the wedding I might have someday. (May have found the man for the job )

  8. That was beautiful and perfect! My FH and I are very supportive of gay marriage and are fortunate enough to live in Massachusetts, or else I would have loved to have sent a letter too.

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