The offbeat bride: Natalie, Prevention Coordinator (non-profit)
Her offbeat partner: Ry, Bookseller
Date and location of wedding: ArtSpace 111, a local art gallery in Fort Worth, Texas — October 23, 2009
What made our wedding offbeat: Ry and I had been together almost nine years when we got married. We were each other's first and only boyfriend/girlfriend, which meant I was a fairly young bride at 22. Our wedding was held at a private art gallery, and we spent less than $3,500 on everything. We didn't have a rehearsal because we kept our ceremony simple and we chose not to have a wedding party (yep, no bridesmaids or groomsmen here!). It was also standing only, which saved money on chairs, set an informal vibe, and encouraged everyone to gather around us. We wrote the ceremony ourselves, start to finish. We walked ourselves down the aisle (so we weren't being “given away”).
We felt like most of the traditions didn't work for us, so we opted out of tossing a bouquet/garter, officially cutting cake and having speeches/toasts. We don't dance, so we didn't have any dancing! Instead everyone just chatted, ate, laughed, had drinks, took photos, and just generally partied.
While our wedding wasn't totally green, we made efforts to eliminate anything that felt wasteful, and tried to go handmade or local whenever possible. Our friend was the photographer, which makes the pictures even more special because they are mostly of our friends and family just enjoying each others' company. We didn't use any flowers, but instead we hand-made candy centerpieces (that the guests literally ate up!).
We DIYed everything possible, because it was generally fun and cheaper. We had a set of cards on each table with trivia questions about us as individuals and as a couple. We used an iPod playlist of hand-picked songs for the music. A family member (who owns a fabulous catering company) provided us with a Mexican feast of quesadillas, enchiladas, dips, veggies, and fruits. We washed it down with white sangria, a variety of Mexican beers, a Tequila Sunrise cocktail, and punch.
Our wedding was smaller than average (around 60 guests). We wanted the guests to mingle so we didn't do assigned seating, instead we just used scattered cocktail tables inside and outside the gallery. There was a fire pit for roasting marshmallows and making s'mores in the garden.
Overall, we spent approximately $27,000 less on our wedding than the average for our city, but we had an amazing wedding that was so full of love, fun, food, and laughter.
Tell us about the ceremony: To start our ceremony, Ry and I walked out together from the gallery into the Sculpture Garden where everyone had gathered. Our ceremony was entirely written by us and was non-religious. We used elements of traditional vows blended with our own words. All told, it probably lasted about ten minutes. It was very casual, and we really just wanted to get to the partying and celebrating! We used a secular officiant we found online (and who was awesome and cheap!). Deviating from the traditional ceremony arrangement was one of the best decisions we made!
We made hard decisions, like choosing not to invite children and not selecting bridesmaids, even though we knew they might not be popular choices. In the end, our guests had a fabulous time and so did we, so that's all that matters.
My favorite moment: The most meaningful moment of our wedding was the few minutes right after the ceremony. Everyone was standing around us, and right after Ry and I kissed, we turned around to start celebrating with everyone. In the next few minutes, we managed to hug and talk to each person at our ceremony. It was amazing!
My funniest moment: Our ceremony was very informal but very emotional. During his vows, Ry was pretty choked up and I heard my Dad (jokingly) say, “Get it together, Ry!” or something to that effect. I responded by turning to my dad, mid-ceremony, and announcing, “He just really likes me a lot, OKAY?!” which got quite a few laughs and helped Ry pull it together for the rest of his vows.
My advice for offbeat brides: We didn't start planning our wedding with the mindset that it would be offbeat. We just planned what felt right and what we wanted. Don't worry too much about pleasing your guests by providing what they expect from a wedding. Challenge their ideas of what a wedding can be.
Several male guests commented after our wedding that they didn't know weddings could be so awesome. If some tradition doesn't make sense to you and your partner, nix it! If you find another tradition that fits, embrace it! Think outside of the box. And take a honeymoon! We went to New York City. Oh, and don't forget to mail those thank-you cards! It's the right thing to do.
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? Weddings don't have to be stressful. As a bride, you CAN and SHOULD enjoy your wedding! I heard so many things beforehand about how our wedding would be, all of which turned out to be so, so false. “You won't even be able to stop and eat your food, you will be so busy!” Uh, I totally noshed down on quesadillas and enjoyed all of our food! “You won't even get a piece of your own cake!” I had more cupcakes than I care to remember. “You won't be able to talk to everyone at your wedding and really visit with them, just forget about it.” Our entire focus of the reception (besides eating, obviously) was to connect with each and every guest at our wedding. Our wedding day, even with all the DIY and being totally hands-on with all the set-up, was one of the least stressful and most blissful days of my life. I didn't have any “bridezilla” moments or freakouts, even though everyone told me I would!
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
- Dress: David's Bridal, altered by Mom
- Shoes: Nordstrom Rack
- Jewelry/Random other stuff: Etsy
- Catering: Eurocater
- Photography: Max, friend/student
- Cupcakes: Cakes by Delessa
- Hair: By bride
- Makeup: By sister of the bride
Enough talk — show me the wedding porn!