We didn’t plan on getting married. When we had been together for 20 years, though, we wanted to celebrate. Gradually, we realized that the celebration we wanted was a wedding.
Since getting engaged, I have been bombarded with well-meaning friends and family members congratulating the “soon-to-be Mrs. Miller” on her engagement. While my external response is generally, “Haha, thanks,” my internal response is, “Mrs. Miller? Who is she? Do I know her? Please pass on my congratulations.” Because that isn’t me, and never will be. […]
It’s not too long now until the love of my life and I get married and promise to tolerate one another until one of us dies, and I have reached the conclusion that I need to stop reading wedding clickbait. They’re making anything other than a courthouse wedding seem ill-advised. You know that I wasn’t ready for?
“What’s your wedding hashtag going to be?”
By the time I get married, 40 will be staring me in the face. This isn’t very old when it comes to first marriages, but it is older than the average in the U.S. I anticipated that it would be a little different getting married later in life (what with the Ensure cocktails and shuffle board reception), but it is taking some surprising turns. Here are some myths about being an older bride that I have discovered…
I considered myself to be an “ordinary bride,” that is until my mother died, and then I discovered that the definition of normalcy is what you deem appropriate, especially when it comes to wedding planning.
My color has always defined me for as long as I can remember. I am a very dark, black woman. If you’re aware of what’s been happening to my people and women (since the beginning of time) who look like me, you may know exactly what this means. I’M A VERY DARK, BLACK WOMAN — enough said. Being me comes with a lot of judgement and I’ve had my fair share of ridicule.
Cue years of self-doubt, years of undoing the very horrible thoughts you created in your head because you actually started to believe the things that were being spewed at you for years on end. Fast forward to my mid-twenties and cue the love of my life…