Beyond the wedding: why I'm more excited about what comes next

My wedding day countdown app on my phone informs me that there are exactly 30 days, 2 hours, and 22 minutes until my wedding. I feel like I should be more stressed out and nervous. But we've been engaged for one and a half years, and I've spent some time planning this thing every week, so the vast majority of the work is done.

What's interesting is that after all that time dreaming and planning, though I'm really excited about the wedding itself, I'm incredibly excited for the time beyond the wedding…

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The challenges of planning a straight wedding as a feminist queer bride

Planning a straight wedding as a lifelong feminist and member of the LGBTQ community was a challenge wrought with emotion, guilt, and confusion (in addition, of course, to all the blissful feelings of being engaged and in love).

I was a feminist way before it was cool, when it was decidedly UNCOOL. I realized that I liked girls as a teenager in the nineties going to a Catholic school, where the only openly gay teacher was a female gym coach who wasn't allowed in the girls' locker room. Gay marriage would not be a reality until nearly 15 years after I realized I might want to marry a woman. At different points in my life, I've hated both men and straight people; not out of malice, but out of fear, rejection, and really bad experiences.

Then I decided to marry a straight dude.

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How would you feel being Photoshopped to look skinnier in your wedding photos?

I attended my best friend's wedding as a bridesmaid. I was pretty fat at that point and had to wear a, granted, not-that-flattering sleeveless dress. But it looked fine, in my opinion. Once the wedding was over and we all got to peek at the photos, I was surprised to see that a photo of me had been obviously Photoshopped to skinny me up. I'm sure this photography team thought I'd be pleased to see this version of myself, but I definitely wasn't…