Embrace the awkward

Updated Oct 12 2015
Guest post by marykahlo
"Lets be awkward together" turtle love card from Etsy seller MonsterCardsbyMV.

I went to a wedding this past weekend and I really enjoyed it. It was great. I was so happy for the bride and groom! But, I did notice some things that I don't think I paid as much attention to when I was a guest that was not planning a wedding myself.

First, there seemed to be some issues with the DJ, so the wedding was an hour and half late. So, that was not good. But all the guests were GREAT about it and understood that there were some behind-the-scenes issues and nobody seemed too peeved. But what I did notice was that there were some SERIOUSLY awkward moments…

There were moments of heavy, awkward silence. There were parts where the bride and groom were confused and awkwardly had to pause and restart their vows. The music didn't cue perfectly so there was an awkward wait time for the recessional.

AND IT WAS LOVELY!

Awkward doesn't equal terrible or bad. Life is awkward. I am awkward. My future husband is awkward. I teach high school and my classroom has SO many awkward moments every day. But I love that. We laugh about it.

And a wedding is just awkward. I mean, any situation where people are looking at you and you're speaking in front of people and on display in any way is going to be awkward.

So I have prepped myself with the knowledge that elements of our wedding may be awkward, and I want to embrace that. Because honestly, it would be crazy for me to think that I — the most awkward person I know — wouldn't have a wedding with awkward moments!

So I say embrace the awkward, and be at peace with it. That's my plan!

  1. I'm reminded of a wedding I attended recently that also had awkwardness in the form of timing issues. The transition from Protestant wedding ceremony to Chinese tea ceremony was not a rehearsed or smooth one and the lag time in between the two was awkward. The Chinese tea ceremony, while beautiful, also had a certain unrehearsed feeling to it and it took a long time for the tea to be served. (I think what made me so hyper-aware of these timing issues was that in my wedding planning, so much emphasis was placed on the schedule of events and smooth logistics and what not, as we had a logistically-complicated wedding.)

    That said, there was something really beautiful about the awkward timing issues. It was a reminder that this wedding wasn't a performance or recital which had been practiced for many hours. This wedding wasn't a show for our (the guests) entertainment. This wedding was a once in a lifetime for the bride and groom which we as guests were honored to witness. The awkward timing made it more true to life. While I was aware of the awkwardness from a logistics standpoint, the wedding overall felt very real and very beautiful.

  2. Thank you for this! Our wedding was a little over a month ago and while I thought everything was amazing on the day, after the wedding I couldn't stop thinking about things that went wrong logistically. There was a local festival going on in the small Maine town where we had our wedding. It made everything more complicated. We had to delay the ceremony 30 minutes because of traffic and our venue was behind in serving us, so all the guests were seated for a good hour before dinner was served. At the ceremony, my husband's aunt who was supposed to sing us down the aisle couldn't see us walking, so didn't start singing until we were almost to the front, then his uncle who sang a song during the ceremony couldn't find his music, leaving a 45 seconds pause. After the wedding, I watched a video outfit our day that our friend had recorded and it killed me to not only see these things, but all of these awkward moments when our guests were standing around before our after the ceremony not knowing what to do. However, when I talk to my guests they don't seem to mind any of those things. Add the previous poster said, we're not performers for an audience of guests, we're walking through a rite of passage which is messy and scary and new and we've asked our love ones to witness and support us through it. It took me a while, but I think I'm finally ok with the awkward moments of our day!

  3. Awkward. Like my hairdresser burning my head with the overhead hair dryer, so I had two pink stripes going from my forehead into my scalp. I had to cover them with makeup. Or how the boning of my dress broke and my right boob popped out while dancing with my dad in front of all of our guests. You just gotta laugh off the awkward, and find a scarf to tie around the bosom to keep on dancing 🙂

  4. We got married this past weekend, and we definitely had an awkward moment or ten. I think the best one was when my husband came out from the chuppah to walk me the rest of the way up, and my parents didn't walk ahead of us! They just stood behind me until the rabbi essentially waved them to hurry up and get to their places. I don't know how many people noticed aside from those sitting in the first two rows, all family anyway.

    We're fairly awkward people, anyway, so it would have been a miracle to have the wedding go off without a single awkward moment.

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