Elaina B's Victoria elopement (and the worst boss ever)

May 28 2007 | offbeatbride

ElainaThe offbeat bride: Elaina B., Marketing Coordinator

My offbeat groom: Matt S, Computer Programmer

Location & date of wedding: Victoria, British Columbia – March 10, 2007

What made our wedding offbeat: We eloped to British Columbia. He didn't propose, but we decided together to get married. This was a huge part of our philosophy: marriage not as a theatrical event, but as a discussion where we are both equal partners.

We wanted to elope, because we didn't want all the commercial/plastic stuff that comes with weddings now-a-days. Plus, we are both pretty shy people and hate having spectacles made of us.

bouquetThe two biggest unique things about our wedding were our rings and my bouquet. We made the rings at the Wedding Ring Workshop's Seattle location. It was a great experience. They gave us the gold in little pellets, then we were handed a blow torch, melted them down, and spent the rest of the day shaping them into our wedding rings. We made our rings so they are identical. We just thought it was really romantic to have them match each other, rather than me having some really gaudy piece and his be boring.

I knitted my bouquet over my hour-each-way-bus commute. When I was first putting it together I was afraid that it would end up looking too muppet-y, but then it turned out great. I sewed in a ring I wore as a kid (something old), and I pinned a broach of my mom's to one of the leaves (something borrowed).

Our biggest challenge: We expected our biggest challenge to be our families protesting against us eloping, but instead the biggest challenge was my boss.

I work at an automotive repair shop, and started working in mid-October, very soon after we got engaged. As part of the "getting to know you" talks I brought up that I was engaged, and that we had our hearts set on eloping. Over the next few months she gave me several lectures on how she doesn't agree with the idea of eloping, that I only get one chance to have a big wedding, and that I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life if I don't have a big-production wedding. These lectures died down after a while, but then things got really bad when we finalized our wedding plans.

icky beaniesThe day before I eloped, I came in to find that my boss had put all these balloons at my desk, threw confetti all over my desk (a lot of which found its way into my keyboard), put these bride and groom beanie babies (yes, they're sewn together) on my desk, and put a veil on my monitor.

It gets worse: my boss had two bags of gifts for me. One was full of workplace-appropriate items: a picture frame, champagne glasses, and just married flip-flops. Then she gave me a box to open at home that had a satin nightie. Can we all say sexual harassment?

I just had to keep repeating all night "She means well, She means well, She means well, She means well, She means well, She means well…"

CeremonyMy favorite moment: I just loved everything about the ceremony. I loved that it was private, quiet, and relaxing. I love that despite a few minor setbacks, it turned out exactly as we wanted.

My offbeat advice: Don't tell your boss that you're eloping.

Enough talk — show me the wedding porn: The wedding was lovely, despite the boss.

Tell me all about your offbeat wedding!

  1. i agree!!! i am semi-eloping… doing a burning man wedding, which is freaking out my boss & colleagues, even though i keep assuring them that i'm doing a "default world" wedding next summer that they will be a big part of!! they keep going "i can't believe we're not going to your wedding!"

    then again… my mom keeps saying that too…

    guess that is the point of eloping!!!

    congratulations – your wedding sounds fantastic and i just LOVE your bouquet!

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    • My mother-in-law had no problem with the elopement before the fact, but after when she saw the pictures she started having regrets, and pointed how her friends were asking where she was in the pics and lecturing her for "letting us" do that.

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  2. The bouquet is really awesome. I think what I like best about it is that you can keep it forever.

    You both look so sweet and confident in your pictures as well!

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  3. Wow guys! You look so happy! I am so glad you got to do it your way. Can't wait to see you this summer and celebrate with you!

  4. I went to high school with Elaina. She's always been pretty cool. If you're reading this, congrats on getting hitched, Elaina and Matt! I have already shared with my sweetie my fantasy of making our own rings at the wedding ring workshop nearest us. Thanks for the link, I hadn't heard about them.

  5. I honestly think your boss really did have her heart in the right place although she didn't express it in a way that you would have liked. Don't be too hard on her. 🙂 At least she cared!

    Your wedding looked beautiful! I totally love the bouquet!

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  6. I got champagne from my boss 2 days before the wedding too, but thankfully, no lectures. In fact, I learned that everyone at work had either had a very small wedding or were living common-law with their partners, so everyone understood. However, I was recently turned down for job due to the wedding I had. They said that having eloped demonstrated a lack of ability to handle stress and challenges. What the …. ?

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  7. I have to be honest, when I read the title of the post I was expecting much worse from the boss.

    I'm glad the elopement worked out well.

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  8. Your wedding sounds lovely. I especially love that you got to make your rings together! So romantic.
    As for your boss… Oh my dear god. There are simply no words. Since she isn't my boss I had a great laugh 🙂
    Your wedding is an important reminder across generations that our values change and what pop culture might dictate doesn't always reflect authentically for all of us. Respect and lean in to the ways in which we are alike and yet also different. Very beautiful. Congrats to you both!

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