A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal: it's fab drunken gay glamour

March 31 2016 | offbeatbride  
Photos by: Darcy Padilla
Darcy Totten & Jasper James
Photos by Darcy Padilla

The Offbeat Bride: Darcy

Her offbeat partner: Jasper

Date and location of wedding: Studio 817 in Sacramento, CA — January 16, 2016

Our offbeat wedding at a glance:

The theme was bourbon, beer, and brass. General gist? Drunken gay glamour. Jasper wore an incredible suit from St. Harridan which specializes in butch clothing, and I had a Maggie Sottero dress that was all dangerous curves. It was a really fun queer ceremony and party that incorporated lots of folks from different parts of our lives, some very conservative and religious and some… well, not so much. None of it mattered because in the end — we let the bourbon and the music do what they do and everyone came together in one big happy dancing lovefest. Seriously: our groomsmen (who just met) were dancing in the bathtub of our room until four in the morning!

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

Tell us about the ceremony:

We had a combination Pagan and traditional ceremony that we wrote with the help of our amazing officiant Lainie Love Dalby, who specializes in ceremonies that don't really follow a formula.

As guests entered, they were invited to grab a hot apple cider (spiked with bourbon if they wished) which we used in a mid-ceremony toast.

I walked down the aisle to "All You Need Is Love" and our first dance was to "Hallelujah I Just Love Her So" by Ray Charles.

One of the elements on our altar was an herb-covered and blessed candle that we dressed before the ceremony privately with our officiant. We might have used a few too many of the "Lusty Sex" blessing herbs though because the dance floor was HOT right after.

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

The bridesmaids carried lanterns with lit candles inside, and instead of a flower girl we had a feather girl, who scattered feathers down the aisle. Actually, she dumped them in a cute pile of punk rock two-year-old awesome right in front of the altar!

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

As we kissed, everyone waved wands with streamers we had made and we walked back out to "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" before stumbling into each other sobbing in the next room where the reception was held. The set up was great because it made a sort of forced receiving line without being so formal.

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal: it's fab drunken gay glamour as seen on @offbeatbride

Tell us about your reception:

The reception was amazing. Our groomsman's fiance Jason kicked off dancing by jumping into the splits and it sort of went up from there.

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal: it's fab drunken gay glamour as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

We didn't have a standard bar, but a bourbon bar decorated with old glass decanters. It was a pour-your-own deal. We had three gallons of pre-mixed Old Fashioned's, and cases of beer made especially for the wedding by a friend.

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

We have this cartoon we made about ourselves as a cat and a liger called "The Adventures of Mau and Rawr." We turned Mau and Rawr into the beer label for our wedding "Huzawifen."

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal: it's fab drunken gay glamour as seen on @offbeatbride

Our cake was constructed out of wheels of goat and sheep cheeses which was gorgeous! We cut it like a regular cake but when time came to feed Jasper her piece, I dropped it on the floor in front of 100 people… because of course I did.

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal: it's fab drunken gay glamour as seen on @offbeatbride

One particularly stand-out moment, which is now captured forever, was when the bridal party en masse started singing "I've Had The Time Of My Life" while we were taking pictures. Most of our bridal party were folks from all over the country, pulled from various life moments and friendships that have withstood time and half a dozen moves. They hadn't met each other, but it was love and friendship at first sight for several of them and that felt really special. By the end of the night we were all drunk, sweaty, and laughing, and giving up whatever fell apart (like Darcy's dress on the dance floor) to the party gods.

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

A queer bourbon and beer bacchanal as seen on @offbeatbride

Vendors

  1. I love the black and white group photo where Jasper is in the middle. Has a Bruno Mars thing going on there. Jasper has some style. I like it.

    Looks like fun was had by all. Makes me wish I was there. Congrats!

  2. Beautiful, sexy and fun! Oh to have crashed your party!! Congratulations and blessings for a long and happy life together.

  3. I just got engaged, and i'm making dangerous curves my modus operandi. And stealing your bourban bar idea. Also possibly that dress too, cause its spectacular.

  4. My fiance and I have been struggling to sort out a cake that we're both happy with!!!
    With a week til the wedding, you have just saved us!!! We both LOVE cheese, so we are now having cheese wheels instead of a cake!!!!!!

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