How to deal with disappointment on your wedding day

Guest post by jadedinvasion
Photo by aisforangie – CC BY 2.0
Photo by aisforangieCC BY 2.0

I did it. I got married. And had a WONDERFUL TIME! Was it absolutely perfect? Not really… do I care? Nope.

Before I go into a break down of what happened, here is a cute picture of me and my husband. Because THIS is what it's all about…

how to handle disappointment at your wedding

The feeling of disappointment came when I got a phone call from the venue about moving the reception inside, because it was threatening to storm that night. (But don't worry, my story has a happy ending — as you can see from the picture above, the reception did make it to the roof top patio.)

When I got that call, I went into super disappointed mode. No smiles, on the verge of tears and had constant thoughts of, “Wow, I really screwed this up.”

The rest of the day didn't go perfectly either…

I forgot my vows. I had written them the morning of, so I didn't have them memorized. So, in the end I improvised and it turned out kinda funny.

My wallet got misplaced, and that caused us to lose 30 minutes of time, between the ceremony and reception, with our photographer.

Spotify. I hates it. Well, I probably wouldn't hate it so much if we had someone dedicated to handle the music. It was kinda awkward at times — like entrance music, first dance and then the app just decided to shut down half way through the party. So there wasn't much dancing at my wedding. Bummer.

Most of all, I couldn't believe that I was feeling disappointed on my wedding day. I felt like a failure for being so down on one of the happiest days of my life. From 12pm until about 2pm on the day of the wedding, I was ready to just say, “FUCK THIS SHIT.”

“Why So Sad?” print by IanMacLeodART

So, my advice is…

If you feel that disappointment, FEEL it

Take a break if you need, have a good cry (before make-up, preferably) and let yourself process these emotions. It's okay not to be happy for a bit. Wedding days are incredibly stressful, so those negative emotions will be as heavy as Mack trucks. Take the time to deal with it because you don't want that stormy rain cloud hanging over your head all day. At the end of it all, you'll be married to your partner — which is a joyous event on its own.

When you're done having your grumpy time, try to focus on the things that make you happy

For me, it was seeing my bridal crew all dressed. They looked AMAZING. Mostly it was their excitement that helped me feel better. It reminded me that I was having a wedding because of LOVE more than anything else.

If you feel disappointed on your wedding day, don't worry, it happens. But the important part is to remember all the joy and love that was around you that day.

Disappointed brides and grooms, how did you handle your wedding day upsets? Got any more advice for us?

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Comments on How to deal with disappointment on your wedding day

  1. I hated my wedding day. I no longer speak to any of our bridal party. I didn’t get married where I wanted to because of my mother in law making it all about her and I hated our photos and the fact that we couldn’t afford to get a video done. It’s a real shame that I can’t even think about my wedding day without feeling sick and I’ll never ever be able to do it again.

    • Oh man I am sorry you went through that but I am so so so glad its not me. I went on here to search the tribes page to ask about wedding remorse only to see the tribes page is shut down. I am 14 months out from my wedding and I still cry about it… a lot. It was literally awful. Instead of happy memories of being with my husband all I have is this huge disappointment and let down. I am considering bringing it up to a counselor because it is negatively impacting me still.

      • It’s awful. I’m not sure if I mentioned in my previous comment but since the wedding have had a massive falling out with my bridal party and only stay in contact with 2 of the 10 of them. My husband stays in contact with them though. It’s very messy. I am disappointed because ill never be able to get married again but I suppose I’ll just have to get over it. I have a loving husband out of it. And I just try not to think about it.

  2. I recently got married and felt a bit disappointed in my wedding too. When we were getting ready, my mom was the last one to be ready and I needed her to zip up my dress so that we could get going as we were already late. We didn’t even have time to get a good photo of her zipping me up. I really didn’t want to be walked in, but after my mom and stepdad paid off my student loans, my mom asked to be able to walk me in return. In retrospect, I wish I’d put my foot down, but I agreed. I told the officiant that I didn’t want any language about being given away and then she forgot and asked “who gives this woman” anyway. It honestly pissed me off, but I went with it. My officiant also mentioned something about our future children, which my husband and I don’t intend to have. We also had a moment for my mom and my husband’s dad to say a few words. My mom said something to me and something to Matt about how she knew he was perfect for me. My hisband’s dad went on at length about my husband and didn’t say anything directly to or about me other than “you two are great together” and it really hurt my feelings. We only had our parents in attendance and yet the whole thing still went super fast and we only had a couple of bites of cake and no time alone. It was nice and there were great moments but it didn’t live up to my expectations and I was upset and felt really guilty about being upset. I still feel a little upset about it, but one thing that really helped was going back to our wedding location on the beach just me and my husband and reading our vows to each other in private and eating our leftover cake. I wanted our day to be about us and it still didn’t feel that way even with 4 other people present. In a perfect world, I would have wanted to elope, but that private moment on the beach helped me feel better about it.

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