OMG IT'S  HUGE
OMG, your lotus ring is like SO HUGE.
My fiancé gave me an engagement ring that I absolutely love. It is a unique eco-friendly band accompanied by a nice rock which is really just icing on the cake and just that. What I really value is the artistic design of the band itself as no two designs are alike.

When I shared my new engagement ring excitement with a girlfriend, I explained to her the artistic design/eco materials' significance of the ring. She interrupted and asked what size my rock was. Upon learning that I have a 1 carat diamond, she then complained to her man for not getting her a diamond of such size. She appeared to have no interest in my story of the ring design itself and was only concerned with rock sizes.

How do I politely school/check other people who are obviously unappreciative of artistic eco-friendly designs, and are more concerned with what is on top?
—Rebecca

First, a slight caution: you're walking a delicate line when you call attention to something (in this case a ring) and then get frustrated when people don't admire it in the ways you want.

You add an extra layer of complexity when you discuss the size of the diamond you supposedly don't care about.

See, when you talk exact carats, you're getting into the dick-size game, whether you mean to or not. It's sort of like pulling down your pants and saying, “Oh that? My 10.75-inch-long penis? Ignore that — I'm trying to tell about you my scrotal piercing!”

Many of us are conditioned to fixate on cock rock size, and when you provide an exact size measurement, you're not helping your “it doesn't matter to me!” cause.

So — the next time a friend asks you how big the diamond is, if you really don't care, just shrug and say “I don't actually know.” Then get right back to talking about the artistry and eco-friendliness of the design.

You're not only refusing to play the numbers game, you're also making it clear that it's of oh-so little importance to you that you don't even know the exact size — which will hopefully deflate some of the consumer lust from the situation.

Comments on Diamond as dick size

  1. OMG, that’s exactly what it is. I was always taken aback when people would ask me what size my diamond was, and I always said just what you suggest: I don’t know. But several people – not just one – have grabbed my hand and examined my ring before pronouncing “Very nice” as if it had just passed some kind of test or something.

  2. Great feedback/advice, thank you! Next time someone asks of size, I will simply respond with, “I don’t know.” It’s probably the safest response I can go with!

    Thanks again.

    • Something I’ve learned working in the ethical fashion industry is very few people care about the origins of their clothing and accessories — a surprising few. Yes, tell them about its story and go with the “I don’t know” with rock size, but make sure to tell them the jeweler’s name and then flip through their Instagram account saying “look how beautiful all of their rings are…and they’re eco-friendly to boot!” is the single best way to support the ethical and sustainable jewelry industry.

  3. …Or you could answer “Oh that? That’s my 10.75-inch-long cock — er, I’m sorry. What were we talking about again?” That’s SURE to get ’em off the subject. 🙂

  4. i told my fiance v firmly many years ago that there was room for only one ring on my hands. my wedding ring.

  5. It is driving me a little nuts that most of the answers on here have to do with lying. “I dont know” is a blatant lie. I prefer to say “Oh, well, that doesnt really matter to me, I am more excited about the design.” My ring (yes i have a diamond ring and i LOOOOVE IT) was hand made by my mother for my grandmother when she got re-married in the late 60’s. It was the first ring that my mother ever made so it is not cemetrical and i have not ever seen anything even close to it. When my lovely lady (if she is looking i mean my rough tough butch) told my mother that she was going to ask me to marry her my mother gave it to her. long story short she wanted there to be something new mixed in with the old so she had some work done on it and bought a raher large diamond (wholesale from an old dealer my father knew) to put in it. When someone asks me about the weight i either tell them and then get back to the story or i dont tell them and get back to the story. I decide what is important about my ring. There is no need to lie.

    Holy shit, that was really snarky. sorry. I am just easily excited :o\

    • Oh wow…. there’s such a cool history behind that ring. It’s so touching, too. I would be a lot more interested in knowing that story than about what carat anyone’s diamond is!

      I also agree on the lying bit. I tend to just say the carat and go back into talking about the design or the fact that my fiance went into a section of town they really hate to get it since they knew I’d like it (that’s the part that really shows that my to-be knows me so well).

  6. Seeing as how there are no diamonds that are actually eco-friendly…I went for the Herkimer diamond which is a very clear quartz crystal. It keeps you out of the c/rock size game and focuses on the ecofriendliness. Personally, I think you’re a little more infatuated with the carat size than you’re leading on to be.

    • I totally agree. Ring conversations can get kind of ugly, because there’s a lot of smugness on either side. “Oh, my ring is a gorgeous antique diamond with a lot of meaning, and yours is just mass-produced crap from Sears” “Well my ring is an Amethyst claddagh that was handmade by a local artist from local silver with local smelting pots. Diamonds are SO evil and bad for the environment.” Everyone’s rings sound lovely, but you don’t HAVE to explain why yours is better than the “bad” rings or the “mass-produced WIC rings.” This conversation isn’t even about what YOUR ring looks like — it’s about how diamonds have become class/status symbols.

      • I agree. There’s no right or wrong or better or worse ring. Competition over who’s ring is the most eco-friendly/cheap/sentimental etc is just as bad as competition over who has the biggest diamond.

  7. see, i’m kind of like a magpie and am attracted to anything sparkly and therefore looooove my ring. However, I did get my fiance one…I never really thought it was fair that I got a rock and he didn’t.

    I haven’t actually had anyone ask me for my measurements yet, but I think I would also go with the whole “I don’t know” thing…I mean, it’s a little rude right? It’s like asking what if cost. I don’t go around asking people how much their earrings cost…

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