How my cat taught me marriage isn’t so scary after all

Guest post by Cassie

So the other day I was looking at my cat. More specifically, I was looking at my cat as she spewed what seemed like a quarter pound of half-digested tuna/chicken feast all over one of my favorite sweaters, which I stupidly left unsupervised on the bed. And I thought, “Sweet lord above this cat is driving me crazy, what with all the puking and crapping lately, but I love her to bits and wouldn't give her up for anything.”

And here is where the most pathetic realization came over me: My relationship with my future husband is like my relationship to the cat …

Things might not go perfectly all the time and he might piss me off or accidentally mess up my shit, but there's no option to return him to the animal shelter. I love him, stinky tuna breath and all. (Well, we're both vegans, but it's a metaphor, okay??)

This must be like playing connect-the-dots with a third grader or something. Unconditional love, etc. etc. But bear with me.

You have to understand that, coming from a feminist who grew up with some pretty warped examples of marriage and gender relations, and who had been absolutely terrified of marriage up until about two years ago, this realization helped me a lot.

I have been with my fiance for 8 years, he's my best friend, I love him more than anything, and committing to him for a lifetime never freaked me out. But committing to him in marriage did freak me out, at least when we first started talking about it. But as my cat oh-so-helpfully demonstrated by managing to maintain my love even while vomiting on the last clean sweater I had to wear to work that day, you can make a decision to love someone and stick by them even during painful times. And it will be okay. Was I pissed that my cat did this? Yes. Do I love her any less, or want to divorce her? No.

Of course, I love my fiance in a more complex way than my cat (don't you dare tell her that), and with that will come more complex problems. But I feel ready, and more confident that marriage itself won't change who we are at the core — two people who love each other and who totally, absolutely belong together, whether in sickness (insert cat vomit here) or in health.

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Comments on How my cat taught me marriage isn’t so scary after all

  1. That’s so funny. I come from a very similar background and it’s really nice to know I’m not the only one unafraid of commitment but afraid of marriage. Workin’ on it!

  2. Awesome, I made OBB. Though I have to say the photo of the cat puking that Ariel found really makes this post.

    Really, Alie? LOL I so want to be at a wedding where cat puke is actually mentioned. How fun.

    Happy Friday, everyone! And btw, I don’t think my cat has puked again since I wrote that. Must be like a record or something.

  3. I loved this blog when it was posted on OBBT. I sent this to my MOH and she loved it. About a week after this ws posted, one of my kitties reminded me of it again when he had ralphed up his dinner and then hid it under a piece of my fabric.

  4. HAHAHA. I’ve been engaged longer than I’ve been a cat owner, but I love that and think it’s brilliant. I frequently tell my tuxedo cat (we have two) that he’s my favorite pain in the ass……

  5. One of my pet names for my FH is “Catbreath” — but only when we’ve just woken up and haven’t brushed our teeth. Sometimes he calls me “Kittenbreath.” Aren’t we just ~*~adorable~*~?

  6. I Like how the quote on this photo on your flickr act is ‘scooter issues a refund’ that totally made me laugh.

  7. I love this 🙂 It made me feel that I am not the only one who is more afraid of marriage than the actual commitment. I came from divorced parents as well and recently became unafraid to get married.

    Thanks for the inspiration.

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