The offbeat bride: Jenny, Youth Outreach Worker/Front Line Service Provider for Homless/Street-Involved Youth (and OBT Member)
Her offbeat partner: Glenn, Musician and Web Designer
Location & date of wedding: Bluffer's Marina and Restaurant, Toronto Ontario, Canada — May 22, 2010
I wore a leopard print corset gown with a black veil, black fishnet, false eyelashes and really red lipstick. The gals wore Marilyn-inspired halter dresses in a beautiful red – the bridesmaids wore little red and black zebra striped gloves, one wore her huge Mohawk UP, and all of the girls wore different style stockings and shoes.
The Groom and his men wore biker style leathers, black Dickies pants, two wore black Doc's, two wore Ox Blood Doc's. In addition the groomsmen wore fake leather fedora's, the best Man wore a poor boy cap, and the groom wore a real leather fedora, which was part of his wedding gift. He also needs to walk with a cane, so another gift was a black cane, with a silver skull handle.
I wrote part of the wedding ceremony, which included a reading from the Massachusetts legislation for same sex marriage. Our wedding bands were purchased the day before, and cost $35 together. Along with our strawberry jam favours, we had temporary tattoos on all of the tables with little dishes and sponges so everyone could put them on during the reception!
Tell us about the ceremony: Our ceremony was non-denominational. This was one of our readings:
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we're married”, and continued with “I will” , “you will” , “we will” – those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding.
The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we've promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”
Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.
Our biggest challenge: Oh, man! Our biggest challenge was to not freak about every last detail. There were lots of little things we wanted to do, photo booth, more candy for the buffet, a few readings from friends who couldn't make it, and it just didn't happen. And that's okay. I mean, I know now that it's okay. Everything was perfect the way that it was, and I cannot be hung up on the small things that happened, because for the most part, everything was the way we had dreamed it to be.
My favorite moment: There were a few super meaningful moments of my wedding.
The first was having my father walk me down the aisle. He and my mother ‘gave me away' because when Dad and I got to the front, Mom stood and joined us to kiss me and give her blessing with Dad. My Great Grandmother came. She passed away just four weeks later. My sister was my Maid of Honour – we've been through A LOT together. She totally deserved to be honoured.
Being welcomed with open arms to my husbands family, by all of his family. A great honour and a true pleasure for me. I hope that I can earn the place in their hearts that they have earned in mine.
Really, just having all of our family and friends there. To look out across the room, and to see the people that mean the most to my husband and I. This was the greatest joy.
Oh, and looking beside me and seeing the man of my dreams standing/sitting next to me. Feeling his love, knowing it won't ever fade. Knowing my love for him will never fade. Best moment of my life!
My favorite moment: All of our conservative relatives covered in temporary tattoos. My garter falling down my leg as we walked back down the aisle. The pics of us starting supper, which seem to tell the story of Glenn attacking his steak and Jenny not able to put the wine bottle down! All of our little cousins having fun with their pirate goodie bags – little girls with their big hoop earrings and eye patches, the little boys with skull and cross bone bandannas! My bridesmaids BF Cedrick, and our Groomsmen Dave dancing to “Ruby Soho” by Rancid! I could go on…
My advice for offbeat brides: Well, the best advice I could give is – STICK TO YER GUNS. As a woman with a pretty supportive family, it was tough to explain what we were planning, and deal with the backlash (backlash is still backlash, even if it has a gentle tone). My mother was willing to drop a considerably larger amount of money than she originally agreed to so that I would wear a WHITE dress. I stuck with the leopard print, and now when I look at my wedding pictures, I feel like it's really me.
Your day is for you, about you, and will be yours to remember and adore, or remember and resent. It was our perfect wedding day, for us!
Care to share a few vendor/shopping links?
Well, I DIYed A LOT. But, I'm happy to provide what I can…
- Hair/Make Up Stylist: Both Toronto girls, great prices and very efficient. The hair stylist is my regular stylist, and she and I have become good friends. No website, but here's an email: [email protected]
- Hair Accessories: the veil was made by my seamstress/bridesmaid. The jewel flowers in my hair came from Ardene at Queen and Spadina in Toronto, ON. They were FIVE FOR TEN BUCKS! Also available in white!
- My shoes for the wedding were London Underground heels, black with black skull pattern. Purchased at Hell's Belles, Toronto.
- My Rehearsal Dinner Dress and Shoes also from Hell's Belles.
- My attendants dresses were ordered from an Etsy seller. I obviously went with RED, but the dresses come in a fabulous variety of colours!
- I made the garters, attendants hair accessories, centre pieces and mother's gifts. We did the invites ourselves, with a watercolour painting from our Best Man. Mostly DIY wedding.
Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!