Can I call it a "wedding" if we're already legally married? #Invitation advice#coronavirus wedding#eloping#getting weddinged#invitation wording#save the date Posted Dec 14 2020 Guest post by Kendra Photo by Gaby Esensten Photography from this amazing DIY urban flavor and vintage frills wedding Thanks to Covid, there are lots of us this year who got legally married without having weddings. Next year, lots of us want to have "weddings," but some etiquette tells us we're not allowed to call them that. I wonder where the hesitation to call a wedding ceremony a wedding ceremony comes from. Because, generally, a celebration of marriage is called a wedding. Yet, etiquette everywhere tells couples that if they legally wed first that it's a huge faux pas to have a "wedding" after they've legally wed. Etiquette they can be called "vow renewals" but those shouldn't occur until closer to ten years or after someone breaches the vows. Etiquette says that those "brides" are not "brides" and should not wear white. Etiquette says it's tacky and all about a gift grab. Most of us know Offbeat Bride's stance on the idea of anything being tacky… …But still. Do we perpetuate this attitude when we hesitate to call our wedding celebrations "weddings"? Related Post Getting weddinged is what it's called when you have a wedding after you're already legally married Getting weddinged, verb: The act of having a wedding after you're already legally married. My husband and I eloped to reduce the chances of exposing our families and friends to COVID-19. Next summer, we are planning a wedding celebration with family and friends. Some folks call this "getting weddinged," but can't we just call it a wedding? How I'm wording my invitations I've struggled a lot with wedding invitation wording so as not to pretend to something that isn't true. My save-the-date cards just say "Save the Date" and our names – including our shared last name. I agonized over invitation wording, I probably have a dozen different versions floating out there on the internet. Then I found the perfect wedding invitation with wording that was just right. I'm inviting people to our "wedding celebration." That's exactly what we're having. It's a celebration of our marriage… and those are usually called weddings, so that's what I decided to go with. What I've learned I realized through the process that I am not responsible for the way others feel about what I choose to call this day. I'm not responsible if they feel it is a farce and they are welcome to not attend if that is how they do feel. I am not responsible if they feel tricked because when we pledge our love in front of family and friends we don't also sign a piece of paper. I AM responsible for enjoying the day and celebration with my husband and our loved ones. It may be a year after we first said I do, but this is still our wedding celebration and we're going to rock it. It isn't about rubbing it in people's faces or pretending we aren't married so they aren't upset – it's about celebrating our love and marriage with the people who love and support us. Related Post How to write honest wedding invitations when you're already legally married We sent out our Save the Dates. We're having a pretty relaxed, but pretty big, picnic wedding in a park. I'll wear a white dress, he'll wear a suit, there… Read More Kendra Just an Offbeat Bride tryna do her best to plan a wedding. PREVIOUS I had a microwedding, here's how I minimized hurt feelings from guests NEXT Sorry you weren't invited: Announcement wording for a covid wedding Show/Hide comments [ 1 ] Hey there and congrats on getting married! To some of us- east european in my case- having to first get legally married then have a religious/wedding ceremony is the norm. Even though we are required to marry legally before allowed to have the religious service in a church, the ceremony itself it's still viewed as "the real wedding". If some choose to skip it and only opt for the legal courthouse ceremony still get asked about "the real wedding"…so either way, your WD is whatever you two, as a couple, decide and feel that it is. Just my two cents here 🙂 Reply Join the conversation Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.