On day three of Offbeat Mama-Bride week we're featuring Lasara and Robert's beautiful and simple elopement witnessed by Lasara's daughters and a couple of friends.
The Offbeat Bride: Lasara
Her offbeat partner: Robert
Location & date of wedding: Edge of estuary, China Camp, San Rafael, CA — 8/12/2009
What made our wedding offbeat: We bucked tradition. My family is huge and super-involved in one another's lives. We went against a huge family value, but it was right for us. My family was a bit miffed, but they got over it, and we had a lovely celebration for my family and friends at our home about six weeks later — after tempers had cooled!
Our union was accepted with love and joy, after the little bump in the road. 🙂 And In June of this year (2010), we will celebrate our union for my husband's family and friends with a beautiful reconfirmation ceremony in Seattle.
What were the most meaningful moments of your wedding?: All of them!
But the lifting of the veil (which I never thought I would wear) was a true revelation. And the poem [by a Sufi mystic] that preceded it.
My friend singing the Song of Songs in Hebrew and English, the breaking of the glass, the mix of traditions, both our own and borrowed.
The traditional aspects, which for me were very transgressive, considering my hippy upbringing.
My daughters being part of our ceremony, and the youngest calling my husband (her step-dad) “Daddy” with a big smile.
What was your biggest challenge: I broke down a couple of days before, worried about what my family's reaction to our elopement would be. My man talked me through it. And I'm glad that we eloped because it truly was an amazing beautiful, relatively stress-free experience.
Have you been married before and if so, what did you do differently?: I had a total hippy wedding the first time around. About 250 guest. Potluck. Overnight. Drum circle. I had no veil, or other “symbols of patriarchy.” And I was four months pregnant. 🙂
This time: white dress, veil, Book of Common Prayer, traditions from all three of the monotheistic faiths.
There's no part for engagement, so I'll tell a little bit of our story here:
My Mr. and I were engaged before we met in person, so we call our marriage “arranged – by US!” Really, we both feel our union was arranged by a greater power, one that exists beyond and within our own will. He was from a different city, so we had a one week date to see if we were compatible. About six weeks later he arrived in a u-haul and moved in. So technically, we're on our second date for the rest of our lives!
What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding?: That it really was a day for us. And it was as non-traditional as we could get, considering our family backgrounds.
Advice for other offbeat brides: ELOPE! Talk about making it YOUR day!
We spent money only on our clothes, rings, and gifts for our daughters, our two friends, and our minister. Oh, and gas money to the site. One friend shot the pix, and another friend sang “The Song of Songs” for our ceremony. They both did it out of love. Our minister was a mentor and long-time friend of mine, and also offered her services for free.
Enough talk — show me the wedding inspo!: