OPEN THREAD: How can you have a fun bridal experience with no friends?

Updated Jan 23 2016
Guest post by Friendless
Thanks to Sveta Laskina for uploading this to our Flickr Pool.
Since my boyfriend asked me to marry him, our wedding date, theme, colors, style, and size have changed approximately 30 times. I've been working hard on focusing on how to balance offbeat with not freaking everyone out, coming to terms with some more traditional aspects of my wedding, while trying to stay true to ourselves. So far, it hasn't been a TOTAL disaster.

What I'm struggling the most with, though, is my lack of friends.

I'm alright with this most of the time — except for when I think about my wedding. I've (mostly) come to terms with the idea of giving up my cute wedding party photos and going dress shopping with "my girls." But what really makes me feel bummed is thinking about a bridal shower and bachelorette party. I have no one to put these things together for me — and even if I did, I can only think of a vast array of acquaintances to invite, and no one that I feel particularly close to.

How can I manage to have the "bridal experience" that I'm craving so much, without any friends?

I'm sure we have a lot of people out there who have gotten married without a giant gaggle of girls, or a super-close crew. Whether it's because you eloped, had to move, or just never was one for close friends…

How did you enjoy the "bridal experience" without any friends?

  1. Due to work and other things I've been traveling for many years now and never settled down in a particular place. I've met many people along the way but of course it's hard to make long lasting or deep relationships when people disappear from your life every few months! It has been hard keeping in touch with them and so unfortunately I don't think any of them would like to come to my wedding (considering it would be a huge effort on their part, I understand them). I never thought this mattered as I always wanted an intimate wedding. My sister eloped and used all the money she would've spent on the wedding to have an amazing honeymoon, which I always thought was a fantastic idea. I'm very socially anxious and so the idea of a huge party really scares me. My fiancée on the other hand is really excited about the wedding and wants to have one of those Hollywood-movie type of parties. He wants the whole shebang with pre-parties, huge receptions, tons of guests and clever romantic speeches. For me such a thing has never been important and I would love to be able to just celebrate it with the ones I love most, but he's so excited about it that I feel bad making him give up his "dream wedding". However I really have absolutely no one to invite whereas he has so many friends and family who would be there for him. I would feel so pathetic literally brining my mum, dad and sister and that's it, when he would have so many guests there! I feel terrible and really not looking forward to the wedding AT ALL and that makes me really sad because it's supposed to be a happy occasion!!

  2. I could cry lol. I started googling "no wedding party" in hopes to find confirmation that I wasnt crazy for deciding today to no longer have one. i dont have friends and had asked 3 associates to be in my bridal party, no one showed for my dress appts, my bachelorette party is this weekend two didnt respond to the family member planning it and one deleted the text thread with all of the info and one who i was supposed to ride with opted out of the plans today. I have felt alone , not getting the "bonding" fun feeling I was hoping to get. I was in tears Friday not even wanting a bachelorette party lol. I felt the ppl I chose werent as interested and dependable and I didnt want it to eventually affect the relationships I have with them. So i decided I know a good group of girls between associates and fam are coming this weekend and to accept whoever shows and whoever doesnt. We decided our wedding guests are our wedding party honorees. My sister and his brother will stand with us as best man and maid of honor, we will have flower girls and a ringer bearer and thats it. I feel so relieved. Its bad enough family drama is already resurfacing from childhood and im dealing with emotions of that. Im glad I found this thread.

  3. I'm on the same boat. I am in my late 20s, since I got engaged, i don't think anyone got excited for me except for my parents. It kind of sucks. I traveled and moved a lot and I don't have close girlfriends in current country where I am. I do have friends from high school and uni but the friendship kind of faded away and they might not be able to travel all the way. The idea of choosing bridesmaids quite of scare me since I know I don't have any close girlfriends. I kind of get depressed because I know that no one will throw a bridal shower for me and I will probably have to go for dress fittings alone. Most of my relatives are also overseas so they might not be able to make it. I might only have 1 table for colleagues and table for closed relatives. Whereas my fiance will have about 15 tables, his mom is saying that he is the only son and she wants to invite all the relatives and family friends, whom I don't even know. The thought of this makes me stress.

    Because of this, I have asked my fiance if we can have an intimate wedding on an exotic island. Just with our parents and siblings. However his mom said we will still have a hold a big celebration here(mainly his family and friends). I never fancied being in the limelight and to have strangers at my wedding. I am still trying to figure out a way to get out of it without hurting her feelings.

  4. Hello, my name is Chelsey. I’ve always wanted a big wedding when I was growing up, ever since I can remember. But now things have changed a lot. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve talked to my dads side of the family, things happened. Such as when I’ve grown, I’ve grown to see true colours of my aunts, uncles and cousins, which wasn’t good. I also don’t have any close friends to be my bridesmaids which has been bothering me for a long time. I know I’m not gonna have that bachelorette party or bridal shower, I will have to go by myself to pick out my wedding dress. It really does and has been bothering me for a very long time. I’ve been depressed numerous times, I feel so alone when it comes to my wedding. I never knew how alone I was until I had to start thinking about it. Don’t get me wrong I love my fiancée to death and I don’t feel alone with him but it just sucks that I won’t have anyone by my side. We got engaged just in June and having trouble deciding if we want to have a big wedding or just elope. Can you even have a big wedding if you don’t even have bridesmaids or groomsmen? Is it even worth the stress in inviting my dads side of the family?… it’s been a week now and I can’t sleep through the whole night thinking about this and wondering what u should do. Is there any point in have a big wedding? Anyways sorry about the long comment and so many questions!

  5. Yay I'm not alone! I have one best friend, one cousin that im close with and his sister, so sorted for bridesmaids, but I moved halfway around the earth to be with him and even though it's been four years I haven't really found any friends because I'm so anti social lol. And idk about the wedding but at the moment we're planning an engagement party and I have one friend (my best friend) coming and he's got like 25 and that just seems weird. And I don't want all his friends to know I don't have any friends. So anyone that wants to come to NZ and pretend they're my friend, you're invited! 😀

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