Beca & Martin's classy-as-fuck tea party wedding #Real Weddings: Northeast US#boston#compromising#couples of color#custom dress#fall weddings#family#family drama#gloves#kilts#massachusetts#retro#secular#short hair#small wedding#tattooed bride Updated Oct 12 2015 (Posted Feb 9 2011) Offbeat Editors You've already seen their incredible first kiss. Get ready to be wowed by their bad-ass tea party. Then warm up your voice for some drunken motown at their after-party. -Becca Photos by Laura Ryan The offbeat bride: Beca, reporter (and Tribe member) Her offbeat partner: Martin, archeologist Location & date of wedding: Historic brownstone B&B in Boston, MA — October 17, 2009 What made our wedding offbeat: I'm a Brazilian-American and former Catholic while Mart is an American-Swiss mish-mash. We met in Scotland. We had family and friends in Miami, San Francisco, Zurich, Edinburgh, Brasilia and Dubai. Anything we did was going to be weird to somebody, so we just did what felt right: we got married in the city we love and love in. We had a civil ceremony in a state that doesn't discriminate, and made sure to have it in early Fall to show off Boston at her best. Four of my aunts had never seen snow until that weekend! We only had seventy-five guests for the fancy 'do, which is unheard-of-small in my family (my mom had eight siblings and fifty first cousins: do the math). The wedding was in two parts: the dress-up afternoon tea party where fancy hats were encouraged, and the late-night booze-up at our house. That way, we could invite everyone we wanted without breaking the bank and not worry about ruining our nice new clothes! The afternoon gig was very simple but very fun with no booze (aside from the toast) and no music, but lots of good conversation and a polaroid guestbook station, compete with props. The after-party at the house featured fifteen gallons of homebrew, another seven cases of Sam Adams (hey, we went all local, right?), and a case of Absolut Boston vodka. We partied from eight-ish until the subway started running again (5 am), and some people stayed even past that. Our lovely neighbors did not call the cops. To "atone" for this complete ass-backwards affair, my Brazilian family insisted on throwing us the party they wish we'd had a few months later. Hey, we'll take the excuse for going to Brazil when it's handed to us. That way, they got to invite 200 relatives and play the loud music. It worked out for everyone! Tell us about the ceremony: The ceremony was non-religious, officiated by a long-time friend of my family. We included readings from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet, which my parents used at their wedding (and I didn't know about until they told me after!), and one of Pablo Neruda's sonnets. I used Roy Croft for my vows, and Mart used Mark Twain for his. My favorite moment: My favorite moment was walking in together, which I refused to compromise on, and I am so glad I stuck to my guns. Taking a moment during the ceremony to look at everyone who had come to support and love us was overwhelming in the best sense. Carmel apple favors! My funniest moment: Singing Motown tunes at the top of our lungs at about 3 AM. It's not a party unless there's drunken Motown. Was there anything you were sure was going to be a total disaster that unexpectedly turned out great? Not really. I knew the people who mattered were going to be there, and that I'd be married at the end of the day. Everything else was sauce. Wall-E cake toppers! My advice for offbeat brides: Compromise without being compromising. Stick to what truly, truly matters, but be willing to work with parents, attendants, friends, whatever, on other stuff. What was the most important lesson you learned from your wedding? Be compassionate. Remember that 99% of the time, people are trying to help you, even if it's a way that totally baffles you. Try and figure out WHY they want what they want, and find a way to give them that feeling in a way YOU like, and you'll both be happier. Care to share a few vendor/shopping links? Venue: The College Club — Awesome venue, awesome rates, awesome food, and Jesse, the chef/coordinator, was excellent to work with. He's swamped to hell, but he bent over twice to get us what we wanted for what we could afford. Seamstress: Storied Threads — our seamstress, who made my dress and bolero and Mart's jacket for a criminally low amount. Photographer: Laura Ryan — our fabulous photog, who came in from NYC for us. Florist/tabletop artist: Petal and Leaf. Musicians: Atlantic Strings who learned music from Lord of the Rings for our processional. Jewelry: Spotted Octopus. She made my and BM's earrings. She is all about the custom orders. <3! Cupcakes: Babycakes. Every flavor we tried at Babycakes was out of this world. Make-up: Claudia Moriel. No trial. We emailed ahead of time, I showed her pictures, and she NAILED what I wanted. She was great; very professional and very fun. Enough talk — show me the wedding porn! PREVIOUS Seriously stress-free honeymoon registries from Traveler's Joy NEXT Is it possible to wait TOO LONG to get married? Show/Hide comments [ 28 ] Gasp! There is the dress inspiration I was looking for!!! And he veil! Oh, this just made my day. Reply I highly recommend Storied Threads for a dress. I've mentioned before I was at the wedding and the dress was spectacular in person. I've seen a lot of Veronica's creations (and got to wear some too!) and they are all absolutely divine. Reply Gorgeous!! And especially inspiring to me, another Boston-based bride with an inter-cultural mashup to plan! You two look spectacular and so happy… congratulations! Reply I saw these wedding photos on LJ a few weeks ago. I remember being really impressed by that gorgeous dress and how happy everyone looked – and the hats, my god, the hats! Reply Very cool! I love both of their jackets! Reply Your outfit is gorgeous. Can you tell us more about the specific readings you used? I'm so intrigued by the Mark Twain vows! Reply from Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet Let there be space in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each otherâ€™s cup, but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone, though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each otherâ€™s keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each otherâ€™s shadow. sonnet by Pablo Neruda: I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz, or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never blooms but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance, risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body. I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way than this: where I does not exist, nor you, so close that your hand on my chest is my hand, so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. Mark Twain– don't know where I got this from: A marriage…makes of two fractional lives a whole; it gives to two purposeless lives a work, and doubles the strength of each to perform it; it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living, and something to live for; it will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life. And Roy Croft: I love you, Not only for what you are, But for what I am When I am with you. I love you, Not only for what You have made of yourself, But for what You are making of me. I love you For the part of me That you bring out; I love you For putting your hand Into my heaped-up heart And passing over All the foolish, weak things That you canâ€™t help Dimly seeing there, And for drawing out Into the light All the beautiful belongings That no one else had looked Quite far enough to find. I love you because you Are helping me to make Of the lumber of my life Not a tavern But a temple; Out of the works Of my every day Not a reproach But a song. I love you Because you have done More than any creed Could have done To make me good And more than any fate Could have done To make me happy. You have done it Without a touch, Without a word, Without a sign. You have done it By being yourself. Reply Hooray! Never was a more deserving wedding featured 🙂 Reply I was lucky enough to be a guest at this fabulous wedding. I think the best part of it was that every facet of it expressed who Beca and Martin are as people and a couple. It was about them and their love not the bridal industrial complex's vision of love. Reply Y'know why I love OBB? A big ol' F-bomb on the homepage that is still totally classy and followed up by a visually delightful wedding. Reply Cheers! Reply We are getting Wall-E and Eve cake toppers too! That wedding looks like SO much fun. I love that they walked in together 🙂 Reply Stunning, absolutely and unforgettably stunning. Everything is so beautiful, and I just love love love the dress. Reply Boston! Gorgeous veil and dress! Kilt! Neruda! Tea! There is nothing about this wedding that I do not love. Reply Also, where, oh where, did your groom get that kilt? My man is seeking one and finding one not. Reply We alchemy'ed ours on etsy, as Mart wanted brown leather. Reply Hey a wedding I've already seen! Beca, you're a member of LJ weddingplans, right? Gorgeous wedding. ^_^ Reply I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Wall-E cupcake toppers SO AWESOME 🙂 Reply Martin's jacket looks like a way-amazing chef's coat. I love love love. Looks like an amazing day! Reply It was! It was a pattern from a Belgian military chef's jacket and Mart fell in love with the cut of it– so we had it made! Reply Congratulations! Everything looks so well planned out, and I have to say I love the waist detail on your dress. Reply Thanks! Veronica and I spent DAYS looking for the right lace to add to it! Reply Wow, you guys are a beautiful couple! Many belated congrats! I am from a large Catholic family on my mother's side, 8 siblings, like your Momma, and there are TONS of cousins! I have 24 on her side alone. My aunties are infamous for the drunken Motown, and considering that, I completely agree that a party is not a party with drunken Motown! Reply Love that buffet table. Very professional and yummy. The contrast between their white/ivory outfit and striking red jackets create a whimsical yet matching color scheme that works. Reply Cute as Fuck!!! Reply You look soooo beautiful but you always do 🙂 Reply *gasp* OMG it's like you reached into my brain but just cleaned up all the crazy, nebulous ideas and put into reality. My one question is: Where did you find the matching bolero and jacket? Must know! Reply Oh I love it, and I am intrigued by the separation of ceremony and party as done for a good reason. Hmmmm. Also, this makes me so homesick for New England. Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.