"He knew I was fat. All my partners did." Being body-positive with your partner in the bedroom

Updated Oct 12 2015
Photos by Sarah Christine Moore
Photos by Sarah Christine Moore

Remember Maddison and Max's intimate vow renewal with the "beermosa" ceremony? That sexy plus size bride has written a pretty amazing piece for our sister site Offbeat Home & Life about being body-positive in the bedroom.

Confession: I was a covers-pulled-up-to-my-chin, lights-off, minimize-jiggling-however-possible lover. I hated my nude body. I used to think somehow that if my partner couldn't see the parts of me that I didn't like, (s)he'd magically not know about them. I specifically picked out strategic lingerie that hid my belly and covered most of my ginormous booty, and I wore fishnet stockings not to be sexy but to hide all my cellulite and to try to minimize my huge thighs.

I never felt sexually satisfied, because I never allowed myself to be sexually satisfied; I was always too caught up in my own head and insecurity to enjoy myself, and I'm sure my partners could tell and that it ruined the experience for them, too.

Then, I met a partner who finally called me out on it… "Why do you hide behind all this?" he'd said, removing my chemise. "You're so beautiful without it."

That's the moment I had my great epiphany: He knew I was fat. All my partners did. Wearing modest lingerie, turning off the lights and trying to hide under covers didn't somehow magically make them think I'm a svelte little size two vixen. People obviously can tell that I'm fat; it's not a big secret that I'm hiding from them…

Head over to Offbeat Home & Life to read the rest!