Big production proposals and being true to you #Features#gender#identity#proposing#running March 25 2013 | Guest post by Beth Olson Thanks to Kelly Wilde of June Lion Photography who's keen eye and uncanny ability to capture the true nature of special moments will allow us to relive it, till death do us part. Like so many of you here on Offbeat Bride, I was never one of those girls who dreamed about what her wedding would be like. I never dreamed about getting married in a big white dress and having children and buying a home. My dreams have always been of travel, creating art, silly parties and costumes, laughter, friends and drop-of-the-hat adventures that might be as simple as bussing across town to find a specialty beer I'd been hearing about. I'm a type A personality with a type B attitude. A theater and graphic design major who loves planning events, running weekly cheesy movie nights, meeting new people, flash mobs and generally being as involved in every aspect of my community as humanly possible. My partner G knew this about me and was fine that I had no pointed interest in getting a ring on my finger on any sort of timeline. I'd said that many times over the first couple years together and one of the sweetest things he ever said was, "Well, if I thought you wanted to get married I would have asked you a long time ago. If you ever change your mind you'll to have ask me." So after nearly six years together I did just that. For over a year I tried to put together something special but things kept falling apart, the timing wasn't right, the situation felt forced or most recently several wonderful couples got engaged including my sister and I wanted to focus on that. G and I have been trying to practice healthier life choices recently. We quit smoking and regular exercise is, as always, on the list. This, coupled with the costumes and an almost flash-mobesque take-over of downtown portland made the Run Like Hell 5k and half marathon a more perfect choice of proposal venue than anything I had previously imagined. G's uncle passed away just a couple years ago due to Lou Gehrig's disease and it just so happened that the event this year was raising money for ALS research. Related Post Processing hetero-normative, non-offbeat relationship diagram I am just as queer as I always have been, but my current partnership appears totally hetero to an innocent bystander ... this has subtly... Read more The plans started months previous as I encouraged G to join me in prepping for a 5k. I called his parents and asked their permission, just to make sure they were okay with getting me as an inlaw to their only child, and to see if they would be able to fly in from LA to join my family and friends at the finish line. Many of our friends waited for us at the finish line all decked out in wedding dresses, even the dudes! (I have very dedicated amigos.) The local news happened to be there just as we crossed the finish line and they did a little story on us and the proposal. I thought instead of practicing what to say that the words would just come to me… which resulted in strangely nerdy blathering about time machines. 50 or 60 years from now, when it's the future and we're really, really old… if I had a time machine at the end of my life, I would travel back to the day I met you and not change a thing. All of time, all of space, all the dimensions… I would always choose you. You are my best friend. I want you to be my partner, my eternal drinking buddy (You ready? Here it comes… *gets down on one knee*) G will you marry me? There was a moment when I was concerned because so many people think that big public proposals are loud, tacky productions that don't respect the "solemnity" of the proposal to take center stage. Well… if you know me and G, that's a pretty fitting description of us as people. It couldn't have been better! And that's what I want to encourage in all of you. If it fits who you are, do it. Don't bunk gender roles just because you feel you need to prove you're a good feminist. Don't forego a big ass dance party because you don't have money to also host a formal sit down dinner. Don't spend valuable party time cutting cakes you don't even like eating. Do what is special to your relationship. Do what reflects who you are as a couple. Do what makes you joyously enthusiastic; it'll keep you on the right path. Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Guest post written by Beth Olson Beth Olson is a photographer and graphic designer who focuses on supporting small businesses and local artists. She has an intense love for geek culture, hoppy beer, all things Portland and has something of a potty mouth. Fuck yeah! http://www.pdxadventure.blogspot.com PREVIOUS Reader round-up: Dinos, cakes, hoops, and dresses that'll make you say WHOA! NEXT Offbeat Bride & The Lovesick Expo teaming up to bring bad-ass wedding fairs nationwide Show/Hide comments [ 9 ] This is so different and cool, I like it a lot. Congratulations to the couple Reply You sound like people I want to know! That was pretty tear jerky, and completely awesome. Reply This was a fantastic proposal idea! As a fellow lady-who-proposed, I give you props. Reply Where is this local news story!!??? Reply "Many of our friends waited for us at the finish line all decked out in wedding dresses, even the dudes!" Oh man, that's awesome!! If I could have only seen your boyfriends face when he saw everyone in wedding dresses… Props to you! (Also, is the local news story online? o: ) Reply Hi friends! I checked and couldn't find the news spot online at KATU. I'll see if I can't dig it out of the archives somewhere (we got a copy of it on dvd from the station). Though, if you want to see more photos there are some beautiful shots that the photographer got! http://www.flickr.com/photos/bethmolson/sets/72157631907104118 You'll see G's face in the photos, it's pretty hilarious how vacantly horrified he looks. He said he was so shocked he didn't even recognize his parents as anything other than "people he knew". Aurora- OOH! I'm curious, How do you pop the question? Reply Initially I was planning a public proposal like you, but my fiancee is rather shy and I was worried she wouldn't like it. I decorated a puzzle box and put the ring inside. I purposefully annoyed her so she would tell me to go away (it might sound odd but it's a game we play with each other all the time), at which point I taunted her with "Oh, I don't think you want me to go away quite yet." Intrigued, she watched as I went to get the puzzle box. After a long day at work, she couldn't quite figure out how to get it open, so I helped her. The ring was inside the puzzle box, in a traditional ring box. I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me, and she said "Da!" (Russian for "yes"). Then I asked her if she was going to put the ring on, and she said "I'm not putting on my own engagement ring – you have to do it!" And then we snuggled. The snuggles were my favorite part, other than her saying "yes". =D Reply SO GOOD!!! I imagine a big to-do would have been a nightmare for someone who's shy; good call on that one! Puzzle boxes are the best thing ever, what a great idea! I love that you knew exactly what would make the moment special for both of you, *sigh* Reply This is awesome. A big public proposal would have been horrible for the two of us shy, homebody introverts. Our living room mutual proposal(I went first!) was just right for us. But this sounds like a great proposal for you guys. Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. 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