A co-worker recently invited my fiancée and me to her wedding in a month. She told us the invite is late because we were on her “B” list. Once everyone on her “A” list had RSVPed, she could invite others.
I always thought you invited everyone at once. I feel like an after-thought. Should I be offended? -B. Lister
The sad truth about a LOT of weddings is that, due to budget or space restrictions at the venue, not everyone gets to invite everyone they want. Plus, when you add the “parental guest list” factor to the mix (and if they're paying for it they get some major say), your invite list can start feeling the pinch.
Still… even the idea of a B-list can send shockwaves throughout the land of Wedding Etiquette-ville. While I get that the concept could make some people have the sads, I think as wedding guests, we should all start embracing the B-list… starting with me!
True story: I was recently, and admittedly, a B-list attendee at a wedding, and it was awesome. I didn't have any less fun because I was a last-minute addition — I just felt lucky to be there. Let me explain why…
The A list
Don't let the name insult you. It doesn't mean “the better people” — it mostly means “the totally necessary people” or “the people that would cause the most turmoil felt for years to come if they aren't invited.” This list includes your close family members, your bestest friends, your wedding party, and possibly people you can't stand because of Game of Thrones-type politics and whoever is footing the bill.
What's that you say? Crotchety Aunt Begonia refused to attend because she's always hated your father? (Yay!) And best friend from out of town is going to be giving birth around that time? (Bummer.) There is only one way to celebrate or bounce back from a declined RSVP: Turn to your B-list! Guess who's getting an invite now… that new friend you made two months after you sent out your invites, and a couple of your partners' favorite co-workers.
A and B lists are often a part of wedding planning realities, and they don't speak for how much a couple cares for you. So snatch up those B list invites, and have a great time! Because Aunt Begonia wouldn't even come close to having the kind of fun you're about to have at your friend's wedding.
Fess up: Who here has a B-list or has been on the B-list? How are you handling the invites?