Are we engaged? Advice for those who feel in-between #Relationship Advice#engagement#proposing Posted Dec 7 2020 Offbeat Editors Photo by Black, White and Raw Photography from this cemetery engagement photoshoot My boyfriend of 6 years told me six months ago that we should get married in a year. Up until now, there's been no engagement ring or proposal whatsoever… So wait, are we engaged or not? I think the main reason I'm feeling confused is because I've barely heard anything from him when it comes to the wedding plans. I went all crazy with Pinterest and I already made invitation envelopes (they're all handmade… I went crazy with DIY). I have layouts and invitation designs. I looked up for photographers, venues, etc. I hear about his plans mostly if I talk about it first. Communication is everything! Your sanity is at stake if you'll just keep all your thoughts inside. I was depressed for months because I felt I was the only one hyped up about us getting married, so I asked him if he's really interested. I told him maybe we're not yet ready. He then told me that he wants to get married so badly. He said he'll work hard for it and promised that we will get there as soon as possible. This helped me realize that we have different outlooks about the wedding, and so we're prepared for it in different ways. I came to understand that I'm more interested in organizing and making timelines, while he's thinking mostly about the finances of the wedding. I still overthink the issue sometimes but it's refreshing and stress-relieving to hear that your partner wants it just as badly as you do. Finances can be a very difficult part of getting married (especially for us those of us working at a minimum to medium wage!), so I started contributing to conversations about expenses as much as I could. I realized that I don't need my boyfriend to propose on bended knee or to give me a ring just to say we're engaged. He wants to get married just as badly as I do — I know this because he's the one who brought it up last year! Be careful with social media expectations I also suggest taking some time off social media, as it gives so many of us wild expectations about wedding proposals. Many of the proposal stories you'll see are highly commercialized and publicized… we need to stop comparing ourselves with these people! It's okay to let your friends know about your engagement and to post about it, but I also think you should make it as intimate as possible. When I look back at the time my partner told me that he wanted to get married, I feel how completely genuine he was. It was only the two of us, nothing fancy, no surprises… just directly telling me about the plans he saw for us. It was low-key (which I like) and deeply genuine. So I suggest talking to your partner about your feelings about engagement. That's the best you can do. Don't give hints or anything. Just be precise with your questions: "Do you really want to get married?" "Do you imagine us as spouses?" "Do you want to be together forever?" I don't think those questions would pressure a partner if they really love you and are committed to you. Just go and ask! Related Post Anyone else struggling with FEELING engaged while not officially engaged? My boyfriend and I frequently talk about getting married -- to the point that we have already decided on a wedding date, a venue for both ceremony and receptions, bridal… Read More Related Post I'm ready to get married… but my life situation isn't My partner's been proposing to me, almost as a game, on the semi-regular since we both realised that we were "it" for each other. I want to say yes with… Read More PREVIOUS Are naked engagement photos a thing now? NEXT A letter from Ariel re: deeply discounted vendor listing renewals for 2021 Show/Hide comments [ 0 ] Join the conversation Cancel ReplyYour email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy. Biz owners & wedding bloggers Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.