Wedding vow examples: funny nontraditional unique wedding vows from REAL couples!

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i promise vows alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

A week ago I went into a bookstore looking for something that would make me feel OK for having “weird” notions about what I wanted my wedding to be like. I found Offbeat Bride! I just finished the book and adored it!

My request? Any ideas for vows that are simple, cool, and easy? Bonus points for funny wedding vows!

Thanks! You rawck! — Alexis

Alexis, yay! Thanks for the sweet words — I'm so glad you found the Offbeat Bride book to help you plan your wedding day. (Or maybe the book found you?).

As far as unique wedding vow examples go, of course there are a bazillion books to inspire you, but have you read these super useful posts online?

You'll find some great advice and suggestions about writing your own vows in those posts — we know it's hard, but with a little guidance you can get through your writer's block.

…Or maybe you don't want to write your vows, you just want to get wedding vow inspiration that you can steal — er BORROW from other people's weddings. We've spent years featuring some of the most unique and offbeat weddings on the web, and here's a selection of vow examples that we've featured from real couples:

K.R.Allen .Photography.Muller.Vow .Renewal.Kauai .Recovered 10 alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)
Photo by K.R. Allen Photography

Nontraditional wedding vows

With this ring, I give you my promise
that from this day forward
I will give you all my love,
and you shall not walk alone.
I have no greater gift to give.
As your love is my anchor,
and your trust is my strength,
May my heart be your shelter
and my arms be your home.
As this ring has no end or beginning,
so shall my love for you be.
As I place it on your finger,
I give you all that I am,
and all that I shall become.

See more from this wedding:

Wedding vows for him with references to favorite sports teams

Today is mostly an ordinary day….the sun rose, babies were born, people slept in and we just so happened to be getting married.

But the not-so ordinary part is how we are making promises to each other for the rest of our days, no matter how ordinary or unusal they may be.

So I promise to you:
to always laugh with you and to never go to bed angry.
to comfort you in times of sorrow, including rough Buckeye, BlueJacket and Bengals seasons.
to always listen to what you have to say, even when we don't see eye to eye, and to remember love is saying ‘I feel differently' instead of ‘you're wrong'.
to continue to love your children, as if they were my own, as I officially become your partner in their lives.
But most of all, I promise to love you, under any circumstances; happy or sad, easy or difficult, through the sunshine and through the rain for the rest of my days.
I am the luckiest and I couldn't imagine growing old with anyone else.

Alternative wedding vows for horror fans… with ZOMBIES

Maybe you want to go a bit darker. How about a little nod to the inevitability of the zombie apocalypse? It doesn't seem like it would be romantic, but you might be surprised:

zombie vow alternative wedding ideas from Offbeat Wed (formerly Offbeat Bride)

Do you take [name] to be your husband,
to have and to hold from this day forward for better or for worse,
for richer or for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish until death or zombies do you part?

Me: I do

Wedding vow examples: Deeply personal vows

Bunker vault wedding ceremony

Name, do you take Name, to be your partner in the adventure that lies ahead?
Do you promise to walk by her side to the ends of the earth?
To love, encourage, and support her in her every endeavor?
Do you commit to opening yourself up completely to her and share with her your entire being?
To share her laughter as well as tears?
Do you take her as your wife for now until the end of time?

See more from this wedding: Allison & Chris' post-apocalyptic carnival 75 feet underground

A short and sweet twist on traditional vows

I, [name], take you, [name], to be my [husband/wife], in equal love, as a mirror for my true Self, as a partner on my path, to honor and to cherish in sorrow and in joy, till death do us part.

Mixed and match your thoughts into a complete set of vows for him and her

I am proud to take you as my husband/wife.
For all the time we have been together, there has always been the kind of mutual understanding which is only shared when there is true love.
You have helped me triumph over challenges presented,
Encouraged my personal growth and boosted my self-esteem.
You have helped me become the person I am today,
And with your help, I will be a better person tomorrow than I was yesterday.

I vow to trust and value your opinions, and stand by your actions.
I pledge to always treat you as my best friend and equal.
I will ask for help when I need it, and offer help to you always.
Let us be friends and lovers, and grow old disgracefully together.

Vows with personal references — swap in your own!

I promise to always leave the lights on in the bathroom
I promise to mysteriously take three hours to make a simple omelet
I promise to create a life for us of unexpected and strange adventures
I promise that I will love you

I pledge to listen to your advice, and occasionally take it
I pledge to never take score… even if I'm totally winning
I pledge to always admire your huge, strong, kind and determined heart
I pledge that I will love you

I vow to listen, for as long as it takes for you to feel heard
I vow to watch in awe as you kick ass and take names
I vow to be your unrelenting cheer squad on the days it feels too much
I vow that I will love you

I believe that ‘me time' is an actual concept, that can be proven by science
I believe that carefully folded socks make you happy
I believe there is no time or place I'm more content than when you're close
Because of this and so, so much more… I believe that I will always love you

Rhyming wedding vow example, inspired by literature for a nerdy book-themed wedding:

Once upon an evening splendid we all gathered and intended,
To witness marriage of two people we most certainly adore
After that unique procession there might be some apprehension
If there will be more digression from what we thought would be in store
But now we must all get serious for the rest that is in store,
Just the vows and nothing more

How distinctly you'll remember on this Tuesday in December
when each and every family member traveled to the gulf bay shore
So eagerly you planned this wedding that sometimes you were forgetting
with all the stressful days of fretting what the ceremony's for
But the day has come and you'll learn what the ceremony's for
As you vow forever more

With this ribbon I'll be binding hearts that will be intertwining
This honored tradition dated back from the Celtic days of yore
The fasting of their hands together symbolizes their forever
So united I will tether as was done in ancient lore
Clasping hands are tied together as was done in ancient lore
To symbolize forever more

Deeply practical vow example:

I promise to leave my apple cores and dirty butter knifes on the counter
I promise to overdraft the checking account
I promise to complain about the kitty litter
I vow to encourage us to try new and strange things
I vow to fill your ‘I love you' Bank every day
I vow to never use a recipe when fixing dinner
I vow to be the best parts of me that fit perfectly with the best parts of you
Although I will be imperfect, I pledge to be sensitive and respectful of your unique talents, abilities and quirks
I pledge to lend you strength for all of your dreams
Through our union we can accomplish more than I could alone
I believe in you

I promise to forget to stack the dishes on the right and leave stagnant water in the sink
I promise to always drive the speed limit, even on the freeway
I promise to cuss loudly at video games
I vow to snuggle you as often as possible
I vow to make you really really laugh out loud
I vow to always try one bite of any meal you create
I vow to be the best parts of me that fit perfectly with the best parts of you
Although I will be imperfect, I pledge to be sensitive and respectful of your unique talents, abilities and quirks
I pledge to lend you strength for all of your dreams
Through our union we can accomplish more than I could alone
I believe in you

Marriage vows emphasizing marriage as adventure

I promise today to be your navigator, best friend, and wife; honor, love, and cherish you through all of life's adventures. I swear to always and forever be your confidant and you mine. I vow to grow old with you and to keep the kid in you alive. I take you today to be my co-captain of team [Last Name].

Funny wedding vow example

Groom

I _____, before these nutter's assembled; take this strumpet, to be my wife, my friend, my lover,
my hot water bottle, my companion in life, my enabler in trouble and my poster of bail.
I will care for and protect you, nurture you and support you, and tell you when you are being a
numpty and adore everything about you.
I promise to love you tirelessly through perfect times and the merely fabulous times, regardless
of how often you get distracted by something shiny. I vow above all things to remain unchanged
in this, even if I should; Look a birdee!, be momentarily distracted by something shiny myself.
I hereby promise to use plenty of lube before trying to poke things in your bellybutton. No
promises about your ears though.
In the presence of our these nutte… err our beloved family and friends, who found us despite
the several venue changes, I offer you my solemn vow to be your godlike partner and lover; in
sickness and in health, despite your hippie frou frou crap. and duck squeezing and tree hugging
ways.
In good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow, I give you my heart, my love, my soul.
I love you, now and fore…Birdie!…ever

Bride
I ______, take you babyfaced one to be my husband, my friend, my lover, my tormentor, my
companion in life and my instigator in trouble.
I will love you unconditionally, support you in your goals, honor and respect you, without TOO
much sass (except on fridays).
I promise to love you faithfully through perfect times and the merely fabulous times, regardless
of how often you are ADD boi.
I hereby promise to resist the urge to beat your ass when you are difficult to get out of bed.
In the presence of our family and friends who insisted on bloody tagging along, I offer you my
solemn vow to be your Brat in sickness and in health, despite your nancy boi whining.
In good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow,I give you my trust, my love and my
soul.

Super lovey-dovey mush fest vows

I choose you to be my husband/my wife, my partner in life.
I promise you my unconditional love,
my fullest devotion, my most tender care.
Through the pressures of the present
and the uncertainties of the future,
I promise to love you, honor, respect
and cherish you all the days of our lives

You are everything I need
And at this moment I feel that all of
my prayers have been answered.
I know that our love is heaven sent
and I promise to be here forever and always

I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities,
to lend you strength to reach your dreams
I promise to take care of you, to encourage and inspire you,
asking that you be no other than yourself

From this day forward you shall not walk alone
My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home

Alternative wedding vow idea: Pirate vows for a pirate wedding!

Groom: I, Mad Dog _______________ take ye, Saucy ______________________ as me Heart, me Soul, me Good Wench with a stout right hook, the bright dawn of each new day and the soft bed of each day's night. I promise to love ye and honor ye; to make ye laugh when yer feelin' out of sorts and pretend to listen to ye when ye babble on and on about nothin' in particular. I will protect you from the elements and the elephants should we ever encounter them as it is my understanding that they can be very large and unpredictable. I will love thee through scurvy and through fire, in wealth or poverty whether ye be near or far. And when I speak of treasure, as I am wont to do, everyone within the sound of me voice will know that what I am really speaking about is you. All of this will I undertake until there are no horizons left to chase and the rum is gone.

Bride: I, Saucy _________________ take ye, Mad Dog __________________ as me Heart, me Soul, me Salty Jack with a crooked smile, the foggy haze of each new day and the lumpy (but familiar) mattress of each day's night. I promise to love ye and honor ye; to make ye laugh so hard the rum comes out yer nose and pretend to listen to ye when ye babble on about nothin' in particular. I will protect you from my wrath and from giraffes which I understand are very tall and will sometimes step on people because they are not looking where they are stepping. I will love thee through scurvy and through fire, in wealth or poverty whether ye be near or far. And when I speak of treasure, as I am wont to do, everyone within the sound of me voice will know that I am day dreaming again. All of this will I undertake until there are no horizons left to chase and the rum is gone.

Nerdy vows & stunning views at this intimate Savannah nature preserve wedding
Photo by Megan Jones

Nerdy wedding vows mentioning Lord of the Rings, Bruce Lee, and zombies

I promise to always love you. As sure as the sun will rise tomorrow. I will always love you. Your love is inspiring to me every day. You are the kindest, most sincere person I know. I promise to never take your love for granted. I promise to always respect you. I promise to kill any insects that wander into our home. I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with you. Everything I am and have is yours. I love you! Will you be my wife?

I promise to always love you. As sure as the stars shine at night, I will always love you. Your love is like water. Formless. Shapeless. It is peaceful, strong and always just what I need. You are my heart. I promise to honor you. I promise to support you. And I promise that if there is ever a zombie apocalypse that you can count on my axe! I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with you. Everything I am and have is yours. I love you! Will you be my husband?

Ceremony script inspiration with Beyonce references

Hello all, and welcome! We are gathered today to celebrate Bride and Groom's love for one another. Each of us has strengthened their character and brought happiness into their lives. It is through our continued support that they stand before us together. And, because you are so dear to their hearts, they have decided to make this ceremony short and sweet so we can all get to the food a little faster.

Do you, Bride and Groom, realize that this ceremony is the biggest real-deal, unplugged, sincerely meaningful, and everlasting thing you'll ever do?

“We do!”

And are you prepared to support and love each other unconditionally, throughout your many years together, no matter how silly or serious, geeky or nerdy, artsy or fartsy, the situation may be?

“We do!”

Do you, Groom, agree to be Bride's technical support, spellchecker, jogging companion and loving life partner?

“I do.”

Do you, Bride, agree to be Groom's playtester, barber, life coach, and loving life partner?

“I do.”

The rings, please.

Bride and Groom made these rings from a single piece of silver. They may look simple, but creating them by hand was not easy to do. Sawing. Forging. Hammering…. Acid baths. It's ironic how many ways you can lose a finger when trying to make a ring, but they made it through with all ten digits.

[Bride and Groom wiggle their fingers and make a heart shape together.]

Awww. Okay, here comes the big important part!

Groom, do you like it?

“I do!”

Then put a ring on it! Bride, do you like it?

“I do!”

Then put a ring on it! By the power vested in me by the state of Oklahoma, I now pronounce you… hitched!

[Bride and Groom remove their glasses and smooch.]

[Music: “Never gonna give you up” by Rick Astley]


Need more examples non-traditional wedding vows? This post is just the tip of the iceberg!

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Comments on Wedding vow examples: funny nontraditional unique wedding vows from REAL couples!

  1. I maintain that the main reason to wrote one’s own wedding vows is to have the most important conversation that a couple can ever have.

  2. I agree, Linda, and it’s something I mention in this interview — writing your vows together is great pre-marital therapy! That said, it’s sure not easy…and I say this as a writer!

  3. I just want to say, THANK YOU OFFBEAT BRIDE!! This website has been a lifesaver in so many ways. I’ve been getting uber stressed about this vows thing — I mean, I have trouble committing to anything and it just didn’t feel right to me getting up and saying, “i promise blah i promise blah i promise promise promise…” I was like, how can I say those things? we are human! We are all hopelessly flawed.

    I LOVE the “realistic” vows from Lomo and I’ll be stealing that idea!! Thank you for helping to take the pressure of perfection off!

  4. I cannot get over the modded version of The Raven. I’m finally having that wonderful, identifying moment everyone on here seems to have – OMG, that’s just so ME!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. My and my FH have decided not to have vows at all as we’re not sure what we would say that would be apropriate for a crowd.

    Sometimes people get carried away with them but these look punchy enough that they could work.

  6. I don’t remember the whole vow, but my absolute favorite included the phrase “to call you on your shit…”

    It was truly an amazing, unique wedding!

  7. I found this post so helpful when I wrote my vows – that I thought I would share! Here are mine from our wedding in Thailand recently….

    I promise to always leave the lights on in the bathroom
    I promise to mysteriously take three hours to make a simple omelet
    I promise to create a life for us of unexpected and strange adventures
    I promise that I will love you

    I pledge to listen to your advice, and occasionally take it
    I pledge to never take score… even if I’m totally winning
    I pledge to always admire your huge, strong, kind and determined heart
    I pledge that I will love you

    I vow to listen, for as long as it takes for you to feel heard
    I vow to watch in awe as you kick ass and take names
    I vow to be your unrelenting cheer squad on the days it feels too much
    I vow that I will love you

    I believe that ‘Julie time’ is an actual concept, that can be proven by science
    I believe that carefully folded socks make you happy
    I believe there is no time or place I’m more content than when you’re close
    Because of this and so, so much more… I believe that I will always love you

    • Julie Winterbottom, your vows are absolutely perfect! I am planning a surprise ambush/kidnap vow renewal for our 20th anniversary here, in Okinawa, where we are currently stationed. We actually met and got engaged here 21 years ago, and I wanted to make a fun memory for us. I am writing his vows for him, since he has no idea what is about to happen, and I wanted them funny, quirky, and kind. I am “stealing” some of your lines for his vows. Thank you!

      Julie Foreman

  8. This was a super helpful post for us when we were trying to decide how to do our vows. We read loads of examples online and pieced parts/customized phrases that worked for us. We alternated speaking each “stanza” so that it would flow between us a little more rhythmically. Also it’s a super lovey-dovey mush fest.

    I choose you to be my husband/my wife, my partner in life.
    I promise you my unconditional love,
    my fullest devotion, my most tender care.
    Through the pressures of the present
    and the uncertainties of the future,
    I promise to love you, honor, respect
    and cherish you all the days of our lives

    You are everything I need
    And at this moment I feel that all of
    my prayers have been answered.
    I know that our love is heaven sent
    and I promise to be here forever and always

    I pledge to respect your unique talents and abilities,
    to lend you strength to reach your dreams
    I promise to take care of you, to encourage and inspire you,
    asking that you be no other than yourself

    From this day forward you shall not walk alone
    My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home

    • Love these, and added them to the post. 🙂 You guys: share more vows in the comments… y’all are amazing!

  9. this website and this post have been the best things on the internet since my extremely offbeat fiancee asked me to marry him in an extremely offbeat way. because our wedding will be so extremely OFF the BEATen path, i assumed we would not even do vows. But my love had different ideas. Thank you for bailing me out with these samples!!!!!

  10. I just wanted to say thank you for all of the great ideas, as our wedding is just short of two weeks away it’s a little late for me/us to apply but your examples of vows here have really been and fun!

  11. These vow example websites have been amazing!! My fiance and I are getting married this month (after just 6 months of planning and not only moving house but moving country and starting new jobs!) So websites just as this one are a god-send in my eyes! I originally wanted to just read the same vows, the ones the registrar had, however my fiance wanted us to write our own and this is what we have come up with:

    Jo to Kyle
    Kyle, I love you unconditionally and without hesitation.
    Since the moment our paths crossed, I knew you were the one and I’ve fallen in love with you over and over again since then.
    I promise to right your wrongs and pick you up when you fall down,
    I vow to always support your dreams and follow you down the rabbit hole that is your job
    The army isn’t always wonderland, but wherever you are is where I’ll call home.
    I promise to carry and support you, to frustrate and test you, to playfully annoy you,
    I promise to keep taking up your side of the bed, only because I want to be near you.
    Kyle, you complete me. You are the one that makes me laugh when I’m sad, makes me stop and think when I want to be impulsive, the one who finds me when I am lost.
    Today, standing here in front of our family, friends, and a few curious strangers, I promise to spend the rest of my life loving and honouring you.
    As I have given you my hand to hold, so I give you my life to keep.

    Kyle to Jo
    Jo, I take you, to be nothing other than yourself…..
    I promise to cherish and respect you,
    I promise to take your hand and build a home together,
    One filled with patience, happiness and laughter,
    To share with those we love and those we bring into this world.
    Jo, I promise to laugh at your strops and challenge your imaginary words,
    I promise to watch repeat episodes of CSI and playfully annoy you throughout,
    All so I can see that beautiful smile.
    Jo, you are my one true love, my best buddy, the Samwise to my Frodo Baggins,
    I promise to take you on an adventure, to fly around the world with my arm around your shoulder,
    So as we grow old and watch the sun go down, we do it together, side by side, hand in hand,
    I will love you always my beautiful wife to be.

  12. I compiled a mixture of a lot of vows I found online. We wanted something modern but still meaningful. Here’s what we used…

    Vows:
    (bride) I, _____, take you, ______, as you are, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years together and all that life may bring us.

    (groom) I,______, take you, ______, as you are, loving who you are now and who you are yet to become. I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will love you and have faith in your love for me, through all our years together and all that life may bring us.

    I Do’s:
    (officiant to bride) Do you, _______ take ______ to be your loving friend and partner in marriage, to talk and to listen, to trust and appreciate, to respect and cherish him? Do you promise to comfort and strengthen him through life’s joys and sorrows? Will you share your hopes and dreams as you build your lives together? Will you strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor, filled with happiness and love?

    And last but not least, do you promise to always be open and honest with ______ and cherish him for as long as you both shall live?
    (bride) I DO

    (officiant to groom) Do you, _____ take ______ to be your loving friend and partner in marriage, to talk and to listen, to trust and appreciate, to respect and cherish her? Do you promise to comfort and strengthen her through life’s joys and sorrows? Will you share your hopes and dreams as you build your lives together? Will you strive to build a home that is compassionate to all, full of respect and honor, filled with happiness and love?

    And last but not least, do you promise to always be open and honest with _____ and cherish him for as long as you both shall live?
    (groom) I DO

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